Too many arrows pointing in one direction.

[Wonderlandless]

My first day in Finland when I was actually out and about, which was my second day (the first day I got there I ate dinner with Emilia and her family and then slept for 14 hours! I felt so lazy), Emilia, her father, brother and I went out shopping for groceries. When we were there, I was rather taken aback at how the people were bumping into eachother and not saying 'excuse me' or anything. I asked Emilia if there was some kind of sale going on (because I've seen people act like that during sales) and she said 'No, we're always like this. If you bump into someone you just go about your business. You don't talk to people you don't know, and don't stare. The unwritten Finnish rule is you can only stare at someone if they don't know you're looking'. She also said don't make eye contact or smile needlessly at someone.

It was quite odd to me, but eventually I got used to it. I was lucky, however, most people who did talk to me also could switch over to English. Hence how I became friends with Lauri. I was in the movie theater and he said something to me in Finnish. I stepped away from him and said "Mikä?"(I don't know why I said it in Finnish, it was just a reaction, I had been saying as much Finnish as possible when I would talk to someone, mostly when buying things) he said it again and then said "Oh, you don't speak Finnish." Then we started talking. You are right, Mookoo: You do find friends at random like that. About the accent, Lauri asked me where I was from, and I said 'Kentucky' and he was like: 'Really? You don't have that annoying southern accent'. That made me feel good. I'm always scared that I sound 'country'.

About the school, Emilia (yes, I know I talk about her a lot, but she really helped me in Finland and learning) made the comment of: 'I always feel so bad for the exchange students because no one ever talks to them. It must be boring.' So I was worried that would happen in college as well. But I do have a few friends. I was at some party on my first Saturday I was there and I was extremely bored and felt totally left out. Everyone was gabbing in Finnish, I was listening (I like the way the Finnish language sounds when spoken) but I didn't have anyone to talk to. Then, about two hours later everyone comes into the kitchen where I was sitting and Essi says "Well, I can try my English on you now. It takes a few drinks for the Finnish to attempt speaking English." Which made me laugh. I was just happy there were talking to me.

You're right, Bretti, the Finns are cool when you get to know them.

..Why are there so many Japanese tourists? What draws them to Finland? I was really surprised at how many I saw when I was in Helsinki.

[miti]

If you bump into someone you just go about your business. You don't talk to people you don't know, and don't stare. The unwritten Finnish rule is you can only stare at someone if they don't know you're looking'. She also said don't make eye contact or smile needlessly at someone.

well, about the staring - I have completely different experience with this, and appearantelly so do other people. There was a thread about it a while ago:

bb/viewtopic.php?t=5600&start=0

I also had enough people apologizing to me in case they bumped into me. I know it happens in Finland less often than in other countries, but it is not always so strict as your friend described it. Same goes for smiling.

As far as meeting people - it seems you have already experienced it by yourself. It just happens. Sometimes if you try too hard (or try to initiate lots of small talk) you can get disappointing results, but very often things just happen and you do get to know new people in the most unexpected places.

Good luck

Miti.

[Wonderlandless]

Sometimes if you try too hard (or try to initiate lots of small talk) you can get disappointing results

I know. I was in a bookstore looking at some book and I noticed a woman was standing next to me reading the same book, I smiled at her and said 'This book is really good.' and she looked at me like I was crazy and went back to her reading. I went to Jarkko (who was running around Helsinki with me and Emilia) and repeated what I said and asked him if I said anything wrong and he said "No, some people are just like that." But I didn't talk to any strangers for the rest of the day.

[mookoo]

Emilia, her father, brother and I went out shopping for groceries. When we were there, I was rather taken aback at how the people were bumping into eachother and not saying 'excuse me' or anything. I asked Emilia if there was some kind of sale going on (because I've seen people act like that during sales) and she said 'No, we're always like this. If you bump into someone you just go about your business. You don't talk to people you don't know, and don't stare.

Haha, the exact same thing happened to me the first time I was in Finland. My boyfriend Juha and I were standing in line at the Prisma and some dude just breezed right past me practically pushing me into a display. Not a word was said, he just walked off. I stood there with my mouth open, wondering how someone could be so rude. I thought it would be nice to say at least SOMETHING even if its "Move B!t*h". Anything but just pushing someone out of the way. He just calmly explained to me that it wasn't a big deal there, and there really isn't a true translation for "excuse me". I was thinking "geez, what a rude culture!" Of course, being from America I had to add the inevitable ... "you know, you could get shot in America for doing that!" Which where I live, isn't too far off from the truth.

..Why are there so many Japanese tourists? What draws them to Finland? I was really surprised at how many I saw when I was in Helsinki.

I think its because it is too cold for Godzilla to follow them!

[miti]

But I didn't talk to any strangers for the rest of the day.

I can understand your feeling. But try not to let such things get to you and don't waste time and energy thinking about it (I know it is easier said than done, but still).
I think there are enough people (even Finnish!) who wouldn't be terrified by your comment and would react in a friendly way. Like your friend said - some of the people are just like that. Maybe she really thought you were crazy, and another possibility you shouldn't rule out - maybe she was afraid to speak English (some people are very shy and uncertain about it).

If and when you stay in Finland a longer time you will have enough chances to encounter people who react in a friendly communicative way - it will balance a bit the experience you had (and probably will have from time to time in the future). I had enough cases were Finnish people are the ones who started talking to me in situations similiar to the one you described - so really, don't think that what you said was so unusual or wrong. It just happens sometimes.

[Hank W.]

That is funny. I don't recall bumping into people when doing my shopping, even the Stockmann's front door rush is navigable. Maybe its just all the country yokels in town who're used to open fields that are the bumping ones

The Finnish "Anteeksi" is the word to used. It can also be used as a "hey you *** watch out" - depends on the intonation.

However I noticed last night in the bus nobody said much anything. If someone wanted to leave froim the window seat, the aisle seater sort of "got the idea"...

Yeah, and smiling without a cause makes people think you have a cause (on drugs, not taken your drugs, my fly is open)

[Wonderlandless]

...Maybe I'm making a mistake. -sigh-

[Hank W.]

Funny thing, I spoke about this bumping into people thing with F last night and she told whilst in Stockholm she was in teh Wasa ship museum. packed with tourists - anyhow she went around a corner and bumped into some English lady. F being in her thoughts mumbled "oi, anteeksi" and overgherd the lady say "All these people bump into me and don't say excuse me". So I think this is also to do that the Finns don't "make a scene" so the grunt or whisper is the "excuse me"... a lot to do with non-verbal communication I think. One of the reasons F passes "as a local" I guess...

[Wonderlandless]

Topic revival. Yay.

I've been doing a lot of thinking (and reading for that matter, I want to make my move to Finland as smooth as possible) and I had been worried as to what I could do for a job while going to school in Finland. Then I thought 'Hey, I'm a good organizer, I'm great with children, I love cleaning, maybe I should be a nanny'. I talked to my French teacher and she told me that it would be a good job if I could get it. I've thought maybe that could be a solution while I'm in school and I wondered how much of a demand nanny's are in Finland.

Then just earlier today I was worrying over how hard it will be to get a Finnish Citizenship and I remembered that my Grandmother was born and raised in Italy for twenty years, my mother was born in Italy and lived there for five. So I thought maybe I could apply for an Italian citizenship and then move to Finland since Europe is connected as the EU and live as an Italian living in Finland rather than an American living there. Do you think it would be easier? Also, I know I'd probably have to live in Italy for a bit to get the citizenship, does anyone know how long that will take?

[Dan]

You'd need to check with the Italians on that one. Most countries don't require that you live there in order to grant you citizenship. You also don't need Finnish citizenship to live in Finland, just a residence permit. To obtain Finnish citizenship takes several years and a fluency in either Finnish or Swedish. You must have lived in Finland for a certain period too.

[Wonderlandless]

I eventually want to get a Finnish Citizenship. However, do you think it would be easier for me to get a residence permit if I claimed the Italian side of me and became a citizen of the EU?

[Dan]

That depends on your time scale and what reasons you have for being in Finland. I can imagine that getting anything done with the Italians would take twice as long as anywhere else. If however the period for obtaining citizenship is short then that might work. It would mean you could move to Finland straight away. However if it's going to take time then it might be quicker to get a residence permit from Finland.

[Hank W.]

http://www.italyemb.org/Cittadinanza.htm
http://www.italyemb.org/Riconoscimento.htm


Of course, with an Italian passport you'll need to speak enough Italian as the goofchecks may catch you at awkward times. I got a Finnish goofcheck in Copenhagen last time over.