Going back home to Australia permanently. Need postage info!

[Kutittaa]

Why do I need to worry about that? I'm just going to leave. I don't owe this country anything. My wife is going to go into Kela and tell them that I am not here anymore and to cancel my small apartment benefit so she doesn't have to pay anything back. I am going to call my boss tomorrow and tell her that I quit. What else do I possibly owe this country?

When my passport is swiped that I am leaving and the reason for leaving is listed as 'permanent' everything should more-or-less be instantly cancelled.

[Rip]

Sorry about the circumstances of this thread.

What else do I possibly owe this country?

Later this year the tax office will determine if you owe them are they owe you from last year. If you should get money back, they should know a bank account, if you should pay more, and don't, - I think it is perfectly possible they will find a(n expensive) way to collect even if you plan to enter this country again (you know death and taxes...). This years taxes will be officially determined one year later still (presumably you'll get money back from these couple of months). So I would do the moving out announcement to magistrate (give your parents address or something reasonably permanent).

Additionally I guess you could still get the latest payment from job later than you think (for unused vacation time possibly); another reason to maintain a bank account for a while.

Helsinki-Oulu is the flight route with heaviest competition in the country. Train seems like a slow, apart from sleeping carriages quite unpleasant and even expensive option.



When my passport is swiped that I am leaving and the reason for leaving is listed as 'permanent' everything should more-or-less be instantly cancelled.[/quote]

[Työelämä]

You also need your divorce certificate to be officially granted , should you still wish to get married to someone in future. Just be careful of making a second mistake not a Finnish spouse anymore !
As for your computers you can still load them and fly with it to Australia same time you are travelling , a friend of mine did same but his destination was to Africa and it cost him fortunes, he pre-called the airline before his ticket purchase and flying date you can still do same.

I have enjoyed reading some of yours posts, just take care of yourself and let not this brake-up tumble your future down be strong , their are a lot of good fishes looking out for a young male like your type to spend the rest of their lives with, good a thing you did not have a child with her yet ( YOU ARE STILL A VIRGIN IN THE EYES OF SINGLE WOMEN ), else it would have been a more hurting situation for you.

[aguinness]

I think for the first time Kutittaa you are showing the colours most here knew you were made up of You are now performing the acts of a quitter, you are being young, naive and immature if you think your Finnish life and marriage should be and can be wrapped up in a few days without any consequences. Of course your Family are delighted you are coming home, and will help you, because as everyone else knows that your parents "knew" you were crazy to get married and move to Finland and that it would never work out. They knew this was going to happen. Your greatest concern being a metal box with a few components in it tells a lot, but then none of this makes any difference to me but I have been there done that. Man up, hold your horses and organise this right, or live to regret and wonder for the rest of your life.

[Cory]

Thank you all so much for not kicking a man when he's down...

Lesson learned about how to respond to people with support, empathy and kindness?

[Pursuivant]

Why do I need to worry about that? I'm just going to leave.

Yeah, in 10 years time you land somewhere in EU and theres an APB out for you owing alimony of the three kids your missus had pathenogenetically after you "just left"...

[Pursuivant]

When my passport is swiped that I am leaving and the reason for leaving is listed as 'permanent' everything should more-or-less be instantly cancelled.

Actually, its the paperwork for the magistrate that does that. Your wife is not you. She can not be you in KELA, and KELA does not believe even you unless its in the computer. Swiping the passport on exit of Schengen has nothing to do with either.

[Kutittaa]

Later this year the tax office will determine if you owe them are they owe you from last year. If you should get money back, they should know a bank account, if you should pay more, and don't, - I think it is perfectly possible they will find a(n expensive) way to collect even if you plan to enter this country again (you know death and taxes...). This years taxes will be officially determined one year later still (presumably you'll get money back from these couple of months). So I would do the moving out announcement to magistrate (give your parents address or something reasonably permanent).

So where am I supposed to go and what am I supposed to ask for?

You also need your divorce certificate to be officially granted , should you still wish to get married to someone in future.

Well I can't get that in time so my wife said she would just post the papers to me, I'd fill them out, sign them and send them back. My marriage isn't registered in Australia but I know that it doesn't mean you can't marry again in Australia (or anywhere) even though you're married in another country. My wife was going to send the papers in the mail, is that a bad idea?

I have enjoyed reading some of yours posts, just take care of yourself and let not this brake-up tumble your future down be strong , their are a lot of good fishes looking out for a young male like your type to spend the rest of their lives with, good a thing you did not have a child with her yet ( YOU ARE STILL A VIRGIN IN THE EYES OF SINGLE WOMEN ), else it would have been a more hurting situation for you.

Thanks that's a very sweet thing to say. I really appreciate it.

I think for the first time Kutittaa you are showing the colours most here knew you were made up of You are now performing the acts of a quitter, you are being young, naive and immature if you think your Finnish life and marriage should be and can be wrapped up in a few days without any consequences. Of course your Family are delighted you are coming home, and will help you, because as everyone else knows that your parents "knew" you were crazy to get married and move to Finland and that it would never work out. They knew this was going to happen. Your greatest concern being a metal box with a few components in it tells a lot, but then none of this makes any difference to me but I have been there done that. Man up, hold your horses and organise this right, or live to regret and wonder for the rest of your life.

Maybe I am a quitter. I think my wife is more of a quitter. She doesn't want to see this though, she was having a bad day, she was having panic attacks and freaking out. I tried talking to her, it didn't work. I decided to give up and wait till morning. It's the same thing. Even if something went wrong 'up there' and suddenly it just doesn't work for her anymore. It doesn't matter. She still needs to learn a lesson in life before her and I could continue doing anything. That I'm serious, love is serious and that life isn't about making huge decisions like this in a day just because you freak out about something. I can't teach her that at all, she has to spend some time alone without someone to wake up in bed next to, without someone to tell her good and bad days too. She has to find out again what being alone REALLY is like, because she doesn't remember what the hell being alone is like. It's best for both of us that she either learns what a dumb mistake she made, or that it was the best decision of her life. Either way it's not up to me to spend more than 8 hours convincing her, speaking my heart and having her answer with just silence and tears and "I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore". I don't know what your past love-life was like but maybe you'll understand if it happens to you.

I thought I'd be one of the lucky ones as well. I've seen my wife so happy and I've made her so happy. But I've obviously done something to make her so sad as well. I believe she is a little broken, but who am I to say that? It hasn't ever bothered me, but she is paranoid and she can't let go of little arguments and problems that she has had with me and that I have had with her. Maybe she should be on medication, I don't know. There is more going on here, obviously than all of you know. Maybe I am running away, but mateys what can I do if she doesn't WANT me to help her? When do you decide to work on what is best for you, as opposed to what is best for your wife? She is an adult, she is her own person. She has a family that will look after her? When do you decide enough is enough? I've tried and tried and fought and fought for her. I can't do it anymore. She doesn't WANT my help. As for this country. I think I need a change of scenery. I need to hear the Australian accent, to get into the wrong seat of a car back home and laugh because I am so used to Europe. I need a holiday. I have worked every day like a slave 5 days a week without any loma (funny, my Loma was coming up) for as long as I can remember. Quitting this morning gave me so much satisfaction. It's too late to go back now.. it's too late to do anything. I should actually man up, and follow through with this properly rather than try to hang on to what I have, which trust me. Isn't much.

Maybe I shouldn't forsake this place, no. Maybe I will come back one day. But I doubt that I will live here again, I have no idea what the future holds. All I know is that I need to speak to my dad. The wisest person I know and my mum the most compassionate person I know and I need to cry and laugh and talk to them. This relationship has had problems, but I've dismissed them as the little ups and downs that are present in every relationship. I was totally convinced that they were just normal little things. But those are eating my wife away and she needs to find out that no matter what man you are with, you are going to be disappointed with something. I almost, almost covered all the bases. I gave her everything she wanted, let her do what she wanted without feeling ever guilty about it, I always put myself second and her first, she got her way with the wedding, the rings, everything. Right from the moment I walked into this country. I am actually only starting to realise how much I have stood down so she can have what she wants. All I know is that there aren't many people who can do that, that are my age. Who knows what she wants now, but she's in for a big surprise and a big disappointment. I would love to help her, she needs help but she doesn't want my help. She thinks that being alone will help and maybe it will. If we are meant to be together then we will be some how. If we aren't then we just aren't. All I can say is that I love her and I miss her and I wish I was still in bed with her rather than writing this out. It all still feels like a bad dream. Either way I am happy to be called a quitter. I'm damn proud of myself for what I have put up with in this country, I stepped up to the plate and I @#$% manned up to every challenge and every requirement that was put in front of me. I'm proud of myself and everyone has a limit to the !"#¤% they can take. My wife was the whole reason I could put up with everything here.

But again, as for the computer. It's not really such a big deal. It's a metal box, but my dad wants it, I sorta want to keep it rather than buy a new one. I don't have the time to sell it, my wife refuses to sell it. It'll cost what it costs to ship to Australia and if it breaks then I'll replace the part that breaks, either way it should be cheaper than being a new one. And that's besides the point. People do all sorts of weird !"#¤% when they end relationships. I'd like to keep this computer... she gets to keep everything else. Because I literally am walking out of here with nothing except for clothes a phone and that.

Thank you all so much for not kicking a man when he's down...

Lesson learned about how to respond to people with support, empathy and kindness?

I've always had sympathy and empathy for those who I think deserve it. This forum sees it's share of people who have earned that, as well as those who need nice cold glass of reality.

When my passport is swiped that I am leaving and the reason for leaving is listed as 'permanent' everything should more-or-less be instantly cancelled.

Actually, its the paperwork for the magistrate that does that. Your wife is not you. She can not be you in KELA, and KELA does not believe even you unless its in the computer. Swiping the passport on exit of Schengen has nothing to do with either.

So I have to go into Kela myself? Where else do I have to go to sort all of this out?

[aguinness]

Nah, You lost me when you used the word "lucky". Good luck.

[Cory]

Youth is a time for life's lessons. Hopefully, there's wisdom to learn from them.

(The eternal optimist) I must say that you and your wife are so very fortunate to have only the 2 of you to consider in your decision. Thankfully, there are no children involved in this.

[Rip]

So where am I supposed to go and what am I supposed to ask for?

http://www.vrk.fi/default.aspx?id=63

So I have to go into Kela myself? Where else do I have to go to sort all of this out?

You don't have to go there personally, but they request you notify them: http://www.kela.fi/in/internet/english. ... enDocument

To be honest, I am not at all sure there is any negative consequences if you skip KELA, as long as you do the magistrate registration and are not collecting currently any benefits, but then on the other hand you don't loose anything if you actually follow the instructions.

[Upphew]

I've always had sympathy and empathy for those who I think deserve it. This forum sees it's share of people who have earned that, as well as those who need nice cold glass of reality.

You write effing long posts... but I do like your way with words. Maybe you should do a recap of your adventure here? After suitable cool off period preferably.

[Työelämä]

Kutittaa, it is not a bad idea the divorce papers can be sent and signed via postages by both parties and it is acceptable by the authorities.

[simon]

I think for the first time Kutittaa you are showing the colours most here knew you were made up of You are now performing the acts of a quitter, you are being young, naive and immature if you think your Finnish life and marriage should be and can be wrapped up in a few days without any consequences. Of course your Family are delighted you are coming home, and will help you, because as everyone else knows that your parents "knew" you were crazy to get married and move to Finland and that it would never work out. They knew this was going to happen. Your greatest concern being a metal box with a few components in it tells a lot, but then none of this makes any difference to me but I have been there done that. Man up, hold your horses and organise this right, or live to regret and wonder for the rest of your life.

+1

[Pursuivant]

When my passport is swiped that I am leaving and the reason for leaving is listed as 'permanent' everything should more-or-less be instantly cancelled.

Actually, its the paperwork for the magistrate that does that. Your wife is not you. She can not be you in KELA, and KELA does not believe even you unless its in the computer. Swiping the passport on exit of Schengen has nothing to do with either.

So I have to go into Kela myself? Where else do I have to go to sort all of this out?

F* KELA you illiterate - you need to go to the same place m-ai-s-t-r-a-a-t-t-i where you got your number from. They rule the computers. They switch you on & off... you can also go to KELA and then your missus doesnt need to do that.