I like a Finnish Guy

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itwasntme
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:55 pm

I like a Finnish Guy

Post by itwasntme » Sat Dec 09, 2017 6:50 pm

Hello everyone.
I know this has been asked countless of times but, viewing each topic, I haven't been able to find a satisfying answer yet; it's highly likely it's just me, though.
So, the problem, as the subject's title suggests, is that I've fallen in love with a Finn I've met online.
I met him on a forum (in March) and, from being absurdly shy, he's become more talkative and more and more into teasing me (the same goes the other way round). I'm an extrovert, but I'm incapable of displaying emotions concerning "heart-matters" so I think I may appear a bit cold in this respect. Subsequently, I asked him to exchange phone numbers and he was enthusiast, something I didn't actually expect. We've been messaging, sending each-other photos etc for the past three months now via Whatsapp and other social network platforms.
Now, he happens to be a conscript and this saddens him as he would like to pursue his studies, deeming conscription a useless waste of time - it's his opinion.
In the last few weeks he's been less inclined to answering my messages, and usually with monosyllables. I don't know whether something has happened to him (I do not want to be too nosy) or if it's probably me being paranoid, but I fear he's less interested in me - perhaps after having met a girl where he lives - but I do not have the courage to ask him. He's really shy, way more than your "usual Finn" - if that makes any senses.
Soooo... what I want to know is your opinion on the matter. I really care for him and I'd like to meet him next summer, maybe somewhere between our countries (I live in Central Europe) but I think I may be rushing.
I apologise if I seem hysterical but it's something I want to clear or at least try to



I like a Finnish Guy

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jack2012
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: I like a Finnish Guy

Post by jack2012 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:41 pm

Hi,

I am not love guru but still want to say something. Probably, you wanted him to chase more, you never given him any hint that you are interested too. He can be shy but it looks that he is career oriented guy and cannot ruin his career because of you. I am happy that he chosen his career on you because I do not know why I feel that you are among the girls who want guy to go on knees for nothing! Sorry but it looks that you have lost a nice person! Good luck and take care for next time :)


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Piet
Posts: 470
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2015 3:45 pm
Location: Finland

Re: I like a Finnish Guy

Post by Piet » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:52 pm

itwasntme wrote:Hello everyone.
what I want to know is your opinion on the matter. I really care for him and I'd like to meet him next summer, maybe somewhere between our countries (I live in Central Europe) but I think I may be rushing.
I apologise if I seem hysterical but it's something I want to clear or at least try to
I do not want to give you a doom scenario but please remember the following:

Let me point out the obvious in Finnish: Kaikki miehet ovat possut. Which roughly translates into All men are pigs.

That said, luckily there are exceptions, however these exceptions are, as it already says, exceptions :lol:

I think you need a mirror for a moment and get your feet on the ground, only for a little moment:

The guy you like is: young (probably just 18 or 19), is stuck in military service for a while, after military wants to study, so no income and occupied with learning, he will meet during his study very much other students (female too!! international too!!) most studies take about 4 years..

So your only hope (is) to regularly see him, is to get a study place at the same university / school (or at least in the same city) in Finland. This means you will need funding for your living expenses, so maybe a part time job, you will need a place to live etc....or would be marriage and you getting a job while he is studying. :wink:

Take your pick.

Of course you are not that far yet and yes when you get the feeling something is wrong, most likely something is. The only way to know is to ask him and hope you get an honest answer.
Remember that guys (from this young age) care mostly for one thing: how to get into your pants as quickly as possible and when things seem too difficult, skip to the next..

But this is just my personal "wisdom" and should be valued as such :ochesey:

good luck (and just ask him strait for what you want to know)
If god would give us the source code, we could change the world
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itwasntme
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:55 pm

Re: I like a Finnish Guy

Post by itwasntme » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:41 pm

Hello :)
Thank you, Jack and Piet for your help, which I appreciate.
However, I'd like to point some few things out: he's indeed a rather career-oriented young man of 20 :) while I'm 19. Of course at this age youngsters are not into serious relationships but he himself told me that he was searching for , I quote,"an international girlfriend, although not actively". That's why he was on the forum we met. But, sure, it can happen even in his town.
I do not like to be chased but what I simply want is to even keep a friendship with him and this seems more and more difficult. But I agree with you, Jack, I must have done something wrong.
I thought of doing an Erasmus in Helsinki but it's a serious matter which I shall deal more thoroughly.
I din't know about the "getting-into-your-pants-as-quickly-as-possible" part but now I'll view this matter with a new light. Thank you :lol:
Yes, perhaps the quickest way to know is to ask him straight away :oops:
Thank you all for the feedback!


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