Unpaid Salaries

[toxent]

Great news. Do let us know when you get the money...

i hope soon! I want new life and move on.

I wish to inform you more but I will keep them until my settlement. Today was not good though but they are waving white flag. Their problem with me I have everything in writing, well documented and recorded. I told CEO to talk to my lawyer directly and the only party that has the right to be angry is me, not him as he showed rage to lawyer when he talked to her.

Indeed, the only way to solve a problem is to confront them.

[toxent]

would you believe this, my boss called me tonight after more than two months. vry nice to me and cool. he said im very very tough, first there was a lawyer and then police. I asked him if he called me because of his problems with authorities, he said he is sorry and want to fix all the problems this week. he said he hope we can still be friends and he is not sure if we can still work together but first want to fix everything.

[Rosamunda]

...so sad

[Upphew]

would you believe this, my boss called me tonight after more than two months. vry nice to me and cool. he said im very very tough, first there was a lawyer and then police. I asked him if he called me because of his problems with authorities, he said he is sorry and want to fix all the problems this week. he said he hope we can still be friends and he is not sure if we can still work together but first want to fix everything.

Has he worked with Russians? Because that sounds like business as usual with them.

[toxent]

...so sad

I cried after the call...

but I have to stand firm because he has to learn from this. Before my salary claims we fought on small thing. He called me a loser,I told him he used me and he should pay up. he said he doesnt care and if I want my salary, I have to go there in Finland and get it. He never thought I will fight back but he already intentionally avoided me for long time. Only when 3rd parties got involved on this mess, he swallowed his pride and called me.

[AldenG]

That shows what a cool head can accomplish. (Assuming the money does arrive before long, now.)

[toxent]

last week when he called my lawyer he was angry. even made false claims that he sent me huge amount before. i countered it with proofs and all. they were quiet and only now he phoned me.
based on his call today, I see two reasons why he want peace
-there are authorities
-he has problem here in Asia, they need me

[toxent]

Hello People!

I got my bank Slip today! If I can only have party here, I'll buy you drinks!

So my boss reconciled with me. We had series of talks. He apologized for his bad behavior, he settled my salaries and asked if we can still be friends. Case closed and I got the best lawyer! She made our Settlement Agreement. I was told she has tough reputation so could be one reason my company does not want to argue anymore. If you need a lawyer in Finland, PM me I will recommend her and her fee is not expensive, she didnt even asked for advance payment.

So in problems like mine, always bear in mind:

-Be honest and keep proofs, everybody will help.
-Ask. Esp government offices for advises.
-Finland Labor Bureau cant help on salary issues, hire a lawyer if company wont cooperate with you.
-Finland police are nice guys. Swift Police action. (one email to them, they studied my report and visited our company, my boss freaked out and called me)

So whats next for me..

-Looking for new job
-Invest my settlement to a creative project. If it goes well, Ill send those who advised me in this forum a souvenier. This project is very relevant to this experience.

Thanks for help everyone!

[Karhunkoski]

That's excellent news.

Like many, I've followed this thread with interest. I think you've had a lot of silent support here.

[AldenG]

So glad to hear it!

The change of demeanor in your boss is extremely typical of habitual abusers. They take advantage of people whom they consider to be helpless or in their power and will often do amazingly nasty things that others around them would not believe even when told. (In this case, the other employees DO know about him because they're in his power, too, just not at a disadvantage as big as someone on the other side of the world like you.) They get a huge amount of gratification from exercising this power, often even feelings of sexual gratification.

But once a stronger power (like the police) enters the picture, these power-abusers turn 180 degrees, becoming the ultimate kiss-asses. Power is their main language. And while they may be angry about someone stepping in to rescue you (you've seen and heard about his rage), yet still they respect power and they have a greater than normal belief in the legitimacy of power.

Inevitably a certain minority of them eventually cross the line into overt violent criminality and become kidnapper-rapists and the like. This particularly happens if their power-plays at work or in other legal contexts are being thwarted. It is rare that you can look at such a criminal and not find clear signs of abuse of power in work and home life. They are charming to all except their victims, whom they find ways to isolate, marginalize, and discredit.

You are lucky to be free. He hasn't changed one bit, actually. Only the external circumstances have changed. He sees that greater powers are arrayed against him on your side. But if you continued the relationship, he would be scheming about how to gradually manipulate and re-align the power relationship (for instance by discrediting you behind your back, and not necessarily in obvious ways if he is smart, because such types can be fiendishly devious) until he could once again be in control and enjoy making you squirm. He would enjoy the planning and scheming as a long-term project, anticipating springing the trap he would be building. It would be twice as much fun for him the second time around.

It is the nature of the power-abuser beast. You are so lucky that you got the right forces on your side, got a financial resolution, and removed yourself from the clutches of this person. (We can be certain he will be taking his revenge for this defeat on some other victim.) Statistically, chances are he is not one of the ones who crosses the line to violent crime. But the potential is always there and those who DO become that kind of criminal almost always come from his personality pool. If I were the local police, I'd be keeping him in mind when investigating rapes and local disappearances, especially from the underclass. Again we can't make any clear conclusions about him as a particular individual. But his behavior fits the pattern very closely.

[Rosamunda]

You didn't give up and it's your tenacity that pulled you through.
Girl Power

I just feel sorry for all the foreigners in Finland who are ripped off by their employers on an on-going basis. Many suffer in silence because they have no idea where to begin in their efforts. Some are not in 100% legal to start with, so they don't stand a chance. Others don't speak any Finnish or any English either. And then there are those who are so desperate to keep their jobs they will put up with anything. But Finland is no exception, it's the same in any country. Hopefully your boss has learned his lesson and I guess the other employees in the company are taking their hats off to you too because you stood up to him.

Cheers!

[toxent]

My ex boss said he was impressed how I protected myself and I was too clever for the company. I said yeah as I am not a loser like he said before and I told him without the external forces he will just hapilly go away with my salaries and I will never allow it. He said we have both strong personality so the chemistry wasnt succesful. I disagree, he does not have personality at all. He's simply the bad one.I pulled out my complaints but it doesnt mean I forget everything. He will be monitored and they have bad record now.

I hope other victims will also stand up for themselves and fight for it. Wherever they are. I am thousand miles away from Finland and how amazing technology can do for us.

My little project is still on start up and I will update you all for it.

[toxent]

OMG! 5 years on.. This thread still exist.
Where I am now... Doing a new career, running my own company.
My ex boss greeted me happy birthday one time through that old skype account.
I asked him how is he, he said he's dying, brain cancer stage 4.I told him to get well soon and I feel sorry. but 3 years on, he's still online on skype. I asked him why he's not dead yet, he said coz he was just joking. So he's truly sick in the head, glad I got out of his claws.

Regards everyone!

[AldenG]

[Rosamunda]

great to hear you're doing well.

(He might not have brain cancer (wouldn't wish that one anyone) but he is definitely short of a Moomin or two in the valley!)

edit: *on* anyone