Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

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Jukka Aho
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Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by Jukka Aho » Sun Jan 03, 2016 8:49 pm

A YLE article discussing how, in the Finnish language, when speaking with someone, it is not customary to keep repeating their given name:

http://yle.fi/uutiset/yhdysvalloissa_ja ... aa/8560901

(You resort to the personal pronouns and 2nd person verb forms, instead.)


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Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

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tuttu
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by tuttu » Tue Jan 05, 2016 12:23 am

i am aware of this.

tbh, it annoys me to even think of all the things that finnish people find "ahdistavia" ( https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ahdistaa , i think def. nr 5 and 7 are the most literal ones).

and here's another thought:
i work with preschool kids and it is perfectly normal to call them by their first names all the time (yes, also the finnish collaegues do that).
it seems a finn's world turns 180 degrees when they reach adulthood.

i will continue to help them to overcome that particular "constriction".


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onkko
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by onkko » Tue Jan 05, 2016 12:50 am

tuttu wrote:i am aware of this.

tbh, it annoys me to even think of all the things that finnish people find "ahdistavia" ( https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ahdistaa , i think def. nr 5 and 7 are the most literal ones).

and here's another thought:
i work with preschool kids and it is perfectly normal to call them by their first names all the time (yes, also the finnish collaegues do that).
it seems a finn's world turns 180 degrees when they reach adulthood.

i will continue to help them to overcome that particular "constriction".
Its totally different when you need to address different people, if you keep calling me by name withouth reason i would find it ahdistava.
Caesare weold Graecum, ond Caelic Finnum


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tuttu
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by tuttu » Tue Jan 05, 2016 1:05 am

i don't think i'm an extremist in these things, either way.

what's with or without reason, anyway...

i can very well imagine situations where i find it weird when some stranger uses my first name, even once. it does require a certain level of mutual agreement.
i just wouldn't say "ahdistava" or "intiimi" or "tungitseva".

but then, that's the whole point of having a name, after all: to call you by it.
and if i don't want you to use it, i don't have to tell you my name, no?

however, recently i picked up a matkahuoltopaketti from siwa, and a (finnish) cashier girl repeated my full name & address with a loud voice, and several people queuing behind me now know where i live. now, that felt "hieman ahdistavalta".


AldenG
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by AldenG » Tue Jan 05, 2016 5:30 am

My impression is that among adults in the US, regular use of people's first names in conversation is done almost exclusively by people who've been to employer- or outplacement-sponsored communication courses where they've been told it makes them appear dynamic and sincere. But in reality it makes them sound like superficial and possibly narcissistic manipulators who feel as false as three-dollar bills -- at least to intuitive people who pick up on cues to authenticity, though there is another class of gullible people who are easily manipulated and lied to. Ronald Reagan got elected by them and they thought he was the most honest and sincere man on the planet because of a handful of such gimmicks. The rest of us found his mannerisms quite icky.

You pretty much have to work to make a name come naturally in conversation except when you're addressing a sentence to a different person in a group context, changing partners as it were. Even then, that's an opening the course graduates overuse to their disadvantage.
As he persisted, I was obliged to tootle him gently at first and then, seeing no improvement, to trumpet him vigorously with my horn.


AldenG
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by AldenG » Tue Jan 05, 2016 5:32 am

I.e. I really doubt the source of the info that frequent use is normal in the US.
As he persisted, I was obliged to tootle him gently at first and then, seeing no improvement, to trumpet him vigorously with my horn.


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Oombongo
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by Oombongo » Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:33 am

Oombongo finds it very interesting.
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leisl
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by leisl » Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:26 pm

I hate it. It's terrible. A phone support person saying my name every third sentence. No. Just no. You don't need to and you are not my friend. Once you know it's me on the phone, stop using my name. Even my friends might only use it once in a conversation. It isn't friendly it's creepy.


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tuttu
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by tuttu » Wed Jan 06, 2016 6:59 pm

AldenG wrote:My impression is that among adults in the US, regular use of people's first names in conversation is done almost exclusively by people who've been to employer- or outplacement-sponsored communication courses where they've been told it makes them appear dynamic and sincere. But in reality it makes them sound like superficial and possibly narcissistic manipulators who feel as false as three-dollar bills
thanks for pointing that out.

all in all, the yle article just felt like not very good journalism. no facts to back up something which seems to be the writer's personal impression, prejudice even, potentially increasing the gap between inlanders and outlanders.


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sotka_
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by sotka_ » Wed Jan 06, 2016 9:07 pm

Why would anyone mind? Right, Lana? Lana.. Lana.. Lana! LANAAA!!
"Elämme kovia aikoja, ystävä hyvä."


Jukka Aho
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Re: Using and repeating the given name in a conversation

Post by Jukka Aho » Mon Jan 11, 2016 9:20 pm

An example:

“I received an email from him seven days ago. It was as funny as always, and as surreal, looping through word games and allusions and all the usual stuff we did. It ended with this sentence: ‘Thank you for our good times, brian. they will never rot’. And it was signed ‘Dawn’.”

“I realise now he was saying goodbye.”

(Brian Eno of his last communication with David Bowie. But a Finnish Bowie would probably never have added that “Brian” in there. For his pal would be called “Seppo”.)
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