Finnish funeral, how to?
- ilikepeanutbutter
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Finnish funeral, how to?
Sadly we've had a person close to the family pass away, and we'll be attending the funeral. It will be a church funeral also. Is there anything special I need to know about Finnish funerals?
Also why do they not bury their dead until about two weeks later?
Thanks for any help.
Katrina
Also why do they not bury their dead until about two weeks later?
Thanks for any help.
Katrina
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Arrangements take time. It could be even longer, last winter my brother was buried three weeks after his death. That was because he needed an autopsy. Well, not he but the law.Also why do they not bury their dead until about two weeks later?
No special rules for funerals. And anyway it differs a little if the dead one is cremated or not. Just wear black, buy flowers and look what the others are doing.
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Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
In the olden days it wasn't unusual if someone died in the winter they'd get buried only after the spring thaw.ilikepeanutbutter wrote: Also why do they not bury their dead until about two weeks later?
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."
Something wicked this way comes."
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
I’m sorry for your loss. You might want to take a look at this page; the sections titled Burial place and funeral customs, Funeral service, Flower arrangements and greetings, and Memorial service.ilikepeanutbutter wrote:Sadly we've had a person close to the family pass away, and we'll be attending the funeral. It will be a church funeral also. Is there anything special I need to know about Finnish funerals?
znark
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Basicly it goes like this.
You go in church/chapel and there is traditional "from earth you have come and to earth you will become" stuff, close relatives can then make speaks and put flowers on coffin.
Then you move with cars depending where cemetery is, if next to you then of course not. (remember if you see convoy like this you should stop and take your hat off, even if youre with car)
Then closest family will carry body in grave, priest says something and you can say goodbyes. This is informal. Grave will now get temporaty stuff on it
Then you move to somewhere where memorials are kept, depends on what is arranged, and there all "handshake" or hug closest. People make line like good finn do.
Also in memorial priest and/or others talk about life of died, sing and stuff. People have then something to eat and coffee of course.
Later after memorial close relatives will take care of shoveling grave full.
Black/dark formal dress, nothing too fancy needed and look what others do.
Im not expert but thats how my mom funeral went. I may have forgot something but thats how its basicly is.
There can be regional differences.
You go in church/chapel and there is traditional "from earth you have come and to earth you will become" stuff, close relatives can then make speaks and put flowers on coffin.
Then you move with cars depending where cemetery is, if next to you then of course not. (remember if you see convoy like this you should stop and take your hat off, even if youre with car)
Then closest family will carry body in grave, priest says something and you can say goodbyes. This is informal. Grave will now get temporaty stuff on it
Then you move to somewhere where memorials are kept, depends on what is arranged, and there all "handshake" or hug closest. People make line like good finn do.
Also in memorial priest and/or others talk about life of died, sing and stuff. People have then something to eat and coffee of course.
Later after memorial close relatives will take care of shoveling grave full.
Black/dark formal dress, nothing too fancy needed and look what others do.
Im not expert but thats how my mom funeral went. I may have forgot something but thats how its basicly is.
There can be regional differences.
Caesare weold Graecum, ond Caelic Finnum
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
I had occasion to go to a few funerals in Finland, basically it was the same as Ireland (lots of boozing later on), but one thing which was interesting, and I liked it very much, was the photo taking. They took photos of the family and friends lined up against the coffin and at the graveside etc., photos of friends too. Later the funeral photos were displayed on the walls at home, or on sideboards etc., just as any other photos would be. I liked it, I thought it was a very typical Finnish pragmatic approach - the death is as inevitable and normal a part of life as birth, marriages, taxes etc. It happened at 3 funerals I went to, not just one, so it must be a normal tradition. I think it is great, but when I told some other foreigners they were horrified, especially at the photos being taken beside the coffin. I liked it so much, that we did it when my dad died. I wanted to remember his death and celebrate it. So, kudos to Finland for that.
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
No Finnish funeral I have attended had any booze at all. Afterwards something has been served, ranging from coffee & cake to a full meal, but no booze. This has been at the church hall or similar rather than at the family home as is typical in England.biscayne wrote:basically it was the same as Ireland (lots of boozing later on)
Yes, that seems to be a regular part of proceedings. Personally I dislike it. Many people are not going to be at their best at the funeral of a loved one. To me it seems cruel to record their unhappiness.one thing which was interesting, and I liked it very much, was the photo taking.
In Finland it seems relatives carry the coffin into the church and then to the grave. Normally in the UK the pall bearers are provided by the funeral director. Also there seems to be a lot more "show" here - the whole formal thing in the church of taking turns to place flowers on the casket seems for example. There isn't anything drastically different though. Anyway, wear black and copy others and you can't go far wrong.
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Often people have to come from further away. They also must have time to make travel arrangements. Attending a funeral easily means you're away from work for 2 or 3 days. That's way funerals are mostly held on Saturdays.Also why do they not bury their dead until about two weeks later?
It is not uncommon to take pictures during a funeral.
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Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
I think it is on the contrary - the only few times people *are* at their best. And all the family - even remote relatives - together at once. It was the time to hire the village photographer in the old days. Modern people just have more cameras.DMC wrote:Many people are not going to be at their best at the funeral of a loved one.
That is if you have 6 men in the family available - they have ushers available if theres not enough or you get only old guys and little kids...mmm.... I think women aren't carrying in Finland.DMC wrote:In Finland it seems relatives carry the coffin into the church and then to the grave. Normally in the UK the pall bearers are provided by the funeral director.
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."
Something wicked this way comes."
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Being a native, I’ve been to a handful of Finnish funerals. The only drinks served at those were non-alcoholic; typically milk and kotikalja – the traditional soft drinks of the standard Finnish pitopöytä fare. Water and juice may also have been available.DMC wrote:No Finnish funeral I have attended had any booze at all.biscayne wrote:basically it was the same as Ireland (lots of boozing later on)
The primary idea, as understood by Finns, is not really “to record someone’s unhappiness” in an inappropriate way (paparazzi style!) but to record the event itself, the floral arrangements, and the attendees, many of which might be relatives and family friends you don’t often get to see. Pictures (or video recordings covering e.g. the musical performances and speeches) are given to the closest family members of the deceased who have lots on their mind on that day and might not remember many of the details afterward. They are also shown to those – especially elderly relatives – who would have liked to attend but couldn’t make it because of the distance, or for health-related reasons, or for some other obstacle.DMC wrote:Yes, that seems to be a regular part of proceedings. Personally I dislike it. Many people are not going to be at their best at the funeral of a loved one. To me it seems cruel to record their unhappiness.biscayne wrote:one thing which was interesting, and I liked it very much, was the photo taking.
There was some discussion on this very subject on Phil’s blog some years ago. (Edit: That blog entry seems to have lost its comments along the way – and those comments were the reason why I originally linked to it. Here’s an archived copy with the old comments still intact.)
Last edited by Jukka Aho on Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
znark
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Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Yeah, boozing at the funeral? Doesn't compute. Maybe then some of the folks retire somewhere then *after* the occasion, but usually congregation/banquet halls are "lemonade". And even at the weddings you wait for the priest to leave before you start visiting the car boot... all that temperance stuff.
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."
Something wicked this way comes."
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Yes, I should have clarified that. After the funeral (at all 3) there was coffee/cake/sandwiches etc. served. But after the more distant friends and relatives left, the "core" group decamped to a close relatives home and there was serious drinking.
Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Although, in Phils blog on this subject, a Finn does comment that the only difference between a wedding and a funeral is one drunk less, and this is what has been my experience of funerals in Finland. That and the SO who loved getting into fights with his relatives while drunk at a family funeral.....
- ilikepeanutbutter
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Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Thanks everyone for your help.
Kat
Kat
- Karhunkoski
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Re: Finnish funeral, how to?
Kat, my condolences.
Most has been covered above. Although if your man is going to be carrying the coffin (which also involves lowering it into the grave), and he's not done it before, it might be worth him checking things with someone who has. It's fairly straighforward, but it's worth knowing beforehand how to thread the strap over your shoulder, and which hand should go where etc.
Most has been covered above. Although if your man is going to be carrying the coffin (which also involves lowering it into the grave), and he's not done it before, it might be worth him checking things with someone who has. It's fairly straighforward, but it's worth knowing beforehand how to thread the strap over your shoulder, and which hand should go where etc.
Political correctness is the belief that it's possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.