tizlit wrote:Is it really all this hassle of dragging/ sending your computer worthwhile!
I am asking you, as have moved from one country to another more than often to live, and decided to leave my computer , and travel only with info on CDs. Is it not possible at all to find a cheap computer to buy? Now I live happily with my little laptop.
Kutittaa wrote:Karhunkoski wrote:I have no advice for your computer, but maybe as a last resort, remove the components to checked-in luggage and stick them into a new case down under.Kutittaa wrote: I honestly feel sorry for anyone who comes over here and literally puts everything they have on the line for a relationship that their wife controls entirely.
And whose fault is that? Why did you let her "control it entirely"???
The next comment isn't a random thought, nor one I agree with 100%, but it does have some basis on many years of friendly discussion with Finnish women: Finnish women have a reputation for being tough and dominating, but they're not some sort of genetic feminists, it's just that historically they *think* that they've been forced to take control when the other option has been a weak-minded, dithering, alcohol-affected male. Of course not all Finnish males are like this, but maybe just enough are to have affected the ladies mindset So anyone who wants to build a successful relationship with a Finnish women should be aware of this fact, and act accordingly. Don't be a pussy, take a 50% stake in the relationship!
How could I not let her control it entirely? It's her country, her language. I couldn't even get a bank account in my name without having lived here long enough
Kutittaa wrote:I gave her everything she wanted, let her do what she wanted without feeling ever guilty about it, I always put myself second and her first, she got her way with the wedding, the rings, everything. Right from the moment I walked into this country.
californiakontio wrote:Sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks. But if I was you, I'd stay and go hit on her cousins and cute friends.
If I moved around the world, left everything I knew, endured financial hardships, learned a completely new language that only 5M in the world speak and in short, completely changed my life only to have my significant other change her mind...I'd be very hurt, but also mad as hell.
For damn sure I'd be running through all her friends. You know which ones, the ones who always looked at you a little too long, laughed at all your jokes. They will feel bad for how their friend is acting and will want to make up for it. Let them.
Reading all of these HBS stories makes me glad my gf is the one making the move to the States vs the other way around. It made more sense, she speaks the language here, can easily get a job (higher paying) and easy integration (cultural familiarity). Sure at some point in a few years we will want to have kids and she will want to have them/raise them in Finland. But by then, we would have worked out any major challenges in our relationship, have all the proper documentation (RP, etc), would learn much more about the Finnish culture so I could integrate easier, not to mention speaking the language somewhat.
I'd be curious to hear stories (good or bad) of people who have made the move that way. The Finn first moving to the foreign partners country, then several years later returning to Finland with the foreign partner.
llewellyn wrote:I would always be inclined to be charitable - relationships can be disgustingly painful affairs and very few people can claim to have made no mistakes. But if a certain general observation of anglosaxon behaviour is allowed - I mean why not, as every Finn stares rudely at foreign speaking weirdos, there surely are universal straits of behaviour to English speaking people too - there seems to be a certain ott type of behaviour when ending up with an "exotic" nationality (meaning any non-English speaking country). I mean if you love an individual, it surely doesn't follow that her nation is automatically oh so wonderful too. I have quite a cosmopolitan circle of friends and have seen this pattern repeated for several occasions: loving Finland in an unreal, unrealistic fashion, getting shafted by the HB, in one way or the other, and immediately starting to hate all things Finnish in an equally unrealistic fashion. Really, the country itself is a separate matter, it's not really hugely responsible for the loveliness or the awfulness of the significant other...
llewellyn wrote:the loveliness or the awfulness of the significant other...
Karhunkoski wrote:No offence intended, but I found your text incredibly difficult to follow at a first glance.
odon wrote:Well, all couple stories are different, hopefully your's work out, but the history of finns moving out and staying there in another country is very bleek, it has to do with the genes, in other countries ...they want to get out asap,but here they will come back eventually, maybe in their pensioners age....here is safe, socialist govt, big security net when your children leave you....even I am seeing the advantages here...
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