Agoraphobe with finnish partner

[Piet]

Hi bunnyboo,

I read this resurrected thread, and read all the fecal matter hitting the fan on page 2... OK, so let me give my farthing

I am not a "social person" always either... right now I am sitting in the local pub in "my seat" observing the chavs on karaoke. I "know" the locals, the locals "know" me and I do have a banter with them and the random strangers at times. But I am not in the mood tonight. And once you find your niche "you're awwright".

London for me, I go for work at times is a "pissant nest", but I feel there "at home" more than in some toff town where "everyone knows everyones business" & has nothing better to hyacinth bucket over their neighbors...

My English was taught by the nuns, my accent used to be very "American", which got an Irish lilt and these days a random south on top so nobody can figure where the f* I am from (but the old fogies complain of the "damn foreigners" to me in the pub so I don't sound like a wicked East European)

I do agree, while figuring out stuff is a challenge - a Finn can fare better in the UK than a limey in Finland. From experience. As long as you remember theres no zebras and the cars drive first and the doubledeckers come from the wrong direction... the bureaucracy is a piece of piss - they believe what you say as, unlike Finland, there is nowhere to verify it from. Except the gas bill

What you would be facing in Finland is all your disabilities being re-assessed by doctors and then insurance doctors so basically you'd be told you are fit to work and put onto a course... All this in a language you do not understand. So that is the bigger issue here. Finnish being the easiest language to learn and the current health system giving a flying fu...feathered ptarmigan

With all that said and done, you might want to consider the possibility that if you have a disability allowance paid by the English government, you might be able to keep this allowance regardless from where you live (in EU). I know this to be true for both a German and a Dutch friend, they live here in Finland, but have their (permanent) "sick leave" allowance from their own country, tax wise there is no problem because that is paid in the country you get it from and the Finnish government is not allowed to touch it.

For the issue of staying in Finland permanently, the following should be considered if you do NOT get married: you probably have to have your English healthcare insurance, beware of reassessments and scheduled medical tests mandatory for your allowance, your allowance should be the minimum amount to make sure you do not need Finnish social system to support yourself.

For the next stuff you should ask adnan, he corrects most of us when we are mistaken, but I believe that after living here for 2 years together, you can apply for a permanent residence permit with all its benefits.
As for the being forced to work issue, this is a non issue, you can have the doctors papers from your home country filed here and it would be a rare situation that for English rules you are unfit for work but for Finnish rules you are, in my experience it is the other way around..

So if you really want to be in Finland with your partner, enjoying the nature away from the cities and the peace of the forest...by all means do so. I did
This is a country where it is still possible to not see anyone else if you do not want to.

[Peach]

This is so weird, when i was in Finland. i remember very well, i saw some plastic bags in the store. :S I think some people are overreacting, mostly of the times, i didn't know which number of the bus i had to take, but i just asked someone or i looked at my cellphone, and eventually i got to the place i wanted, and i can't speak finnish!! i just had a loooot of trust in myself, that everything it will be ok, and if not, i could always figure out some plan b, but i understand that this girl has an anxiety problem, however i don't agree about her boyfriend going to UK, he has also this disorder problem, even if he can speaks english, i think finnish people are more nice than british, they could live in Finland and have a better life there than Uk, but that's just my personal opinion.

[wolf80]

but that's just my personal opinion.

Based on nicety of people instead of best way to deal with both their illnesses? How wonderful!

This is so weird, when i was in Finland. i remember very well, i saw some plastic bags in the store. :S

That is weird for you? Plastic bags are like everywhere here, so it must have been an enlightening visit for you!

[cors187]

Thank you for your responses, I appreciate being able to see the point of view from many other people's perspectives. .

Some of them are stupid bunny.

I will tell you the real truth, Finland is made and sustained and even developed continually so citizens can live in their bubbles.

Your Finnish bubble could be the most comforting thing you have ever felt, or a prison.
If you live like a prisoner now then you have nothing to loose but some skin .
I think you will fit right in.

[cors187]

.
Would they allow me benefits or make me work when my finnish would be far from adequate. Or would they turn me away and say No thankyou! Go back to england! I dont think he can support us alone.

Thanks again.

Maybe you have the wrong idea about Finnish.
They take everything they can from wherever they can, thats why there is a rule and 2 exceptions to that rule.
So if your eligible for something here then take it .
Thats what the Finnish do and it bugs them when the immigrant learns it, Although its not hard to learn when its taught at the entry points.

Legality, eligibility, conformity is the Order.
You have to enter to figure out what is eligible ..

[bunnyboo]

Thanks again for all who post on this thread

I agree I think Finland is better than England. If you are poor in England you have to live in a build up area, not near the countryside, it's all very polluted and populated, houses all on top of each other and being overlooked. A nightmare for someone with social anxiety. I would never want to stress him out just because he's a little more independant than me. I could be adaptable to Finland in the future for sure If they would accept me.
Give me the forests and trees any time over this

We're not at that stage yet of living together, knock wood, when it happens I'll be coming back here for all the useful information and have saved this in a tab I'll be visiting him for a fourth time this summer. We've been together 2 years now and going strong He still needs to get a passport and do school! and meet my parents

And about the plastic bags. That reminds me, when I first went into a big supermarket with him, I was getting bags of fruit and veg. And didn't realize I had to put them on the scales and push a button to get the price label. If I was alone I would have gone to the checkout with all unpriced fruit and veg...and if the person didn't speak English, oh what a nightmare! Getting a bus is another issue. I don't even know how to get a bus in England xD

I bought a 'Complete Finnish' book I just need to apply myself.

[Raaflaub]

I did that, the fruit thing without a label What made it even more funny, it was oranges. There were three different types of oranges, that all looked the same. They all just laughed and picked the cheapest one for the price.