Visitation problems with kids

Family life in Finland from kindergartens, child education, language schooling and everyday life. Share information and experiences. Network with other families.
Post Reply
MexicanFather
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:07 pm

Visitation problems with kids

Post by MexicanFather » Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:28 pm

Hi,

I am father of two kids with my Finish ex, they are 7 and 8 years old. We have been separated for almost 5 years now, I leave in my country México and they in Helsinki, we first lived in Mexico and when we separated we were in Finland for less than a year, both kids have bot nationalities. I decided to go back to Mexico because my line of work is easier to get here and I have an important job offer, my ex didn't want to come back even if she has secure her line of job here, because of the many guarantees a first world country can give her and the kids... I accepted her point of view and agree on this...

Since I've been separated I give child support regularly, first I was going well in my job and I was giving more than a 1,000€ in 2013, 2014 and 2015, and then I started to have financial problems, so I had to reduce it to 629€ and last 6 months I started to be irregular and now unemployed with last 3 months not giving child support...

Now the big problem is every summer my kids come to México for vacation, as I don't have the money to pay for the travel expenses, their grandparents (my father and mother) has offer to pay for the plane tickets, so they can spend time with me, their grandparents, practice their Spanish, etc... But their mom is not allowing this to happen, she says she needs first that I pay this 3 months debt that I have, if I don't do it, she will not allow the visiting...

My question is; I know I am missing my duties for child support, and I am trying hard to get a new job and be back in track (note that there's no unemployment aid in México), but... Can she block the visitation from their father like that? She is able to prohibit me for seeing my kids? Please advice...

Thanks.

Visitation problems with kids

Sponsor:

Finland Forum Ad-O-Matic
 

User avatar
ajdias
Posts: 2471
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 9:01 pm
Contact:

Re: Visitation problems with kids

Post by ajdias » Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:26 am

She probably can, or at least she can get away with it. Even if by contract she were obliged to give the children to you for x-period of time, she could probably prevent the children from visiting you (I am guessing she got you to leave your original job and move your family to Finland just so she could divorce you under Finnish law, so she can as well make stuff to prevent the children from visiting you, legal or not, right or wrong...) I have no insight into your case nor into this type of agreements, this is based on what I have seen.

Some people may be able to give you better advice, based either on law or personal experience. Couple of questions which may help their answers:
- Does she have full custody of the children?
- Is your agreement signed under Finnish law or any law? While you were not paying she prob went to Finnish children services and ask them to pay on your behalf (I think only 170 euros or so, per child/month.) In Finland it follows that the bill is forwarded to legal enforcement services (Ulosotto), that is the father is liable to pay the debt or will be executed. If he's got no income the father could get a new agreement paying less or not paying at all.
However you're not in Finland, so I don't know if you can access legal services at all, or how you can ask to have it changed.


MexicanFather
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Visitation problems with kids

Post by MexicanFather » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:06 am

ajdias wrote:She probably can, or at least she can get away with it. Even if by contract she were obliged to give the children to you for x-period of time, she could probably prevent the children from visiting you (I am guessing she got you to leave your original job and move your family to Finland just so she could divorce you under Finnish law, so she can as well make stuff to prevent the children from visiting you, legal or not, right or wrong...) I have no insight into your case nor into this type of agreements, this is based on what I have seen.

Some people may be able to give you better advice, based either on law or personal experience. Couple of questions which may help their answers:
- Does she have full custody of the children?
- Is your agreement signed under Finnish law or any law? While you were not paying she prob went to Finnish children services and ask them to pay on your behalf (I think only 170 euros or so, per child/month.) In Finland it follows that the bill is forwarded to legal enforcement services (Ulosotto), that is the father is liable to pay the debt or will be executed. If he's got no income the father could get a new agreement paying less or not paying at all.
However you're not in Finland, so I don't know if you can access legal services at all, or how you can ask to have it changed.
Thanks for your reply:

Well, I guess it's impossible to know if this was an actual plan form the beginning, I'm inclined to think it wasn't. Put since the separation everything has change, a lot... For the worst...

She does not have full custody, we signed a first "mutual" agreement (not legalized in Finnish nor Mexican court) where I was able to have the joint custody, with she having a physical custody in Finland. Then she wanted to change lot's of things and one time she called me in a certain address in Finland while I was there visiting, the place result to be some kind of police building, and we had an interview with someone that was supposed to be a judge and he was saying certain things in that agreement can't be legalized, I obviously panic, I didn't know that man, or the place and with my very bad Suomi I understood this place was some kind of police facility, so well, I didn't signed anything.

Since then, I tried to make a new agreement with Mexican lawyers and she couldn't agree in things like programed visitation, problems with hygiene that I observed since they are alone with her (she doesn't "believe" in cutting nails, comb hair, washing hands and teeth, stuff like that), So there has been no oficial agreement...

So I believe what is next is to try with Finish law to push forward for an agreement where all this is evaluated, the bad thing is, as I don't have so much savings now, hopefully I can get a job sooner and go there to do this agreement...

Does anybody knows if I can pre-arrange this with a free lawyer / legal aid? I mean from Mexico and not being a Finnish citizen?

Thanks again!

R


User avatar
ajdias
Posts: 2471
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 9:01 pm
Contact:

Re: Visitation problems with kids

Post by ajdias » Fri Apr 28, 2017 10:29 pm

Does anybody knows if I can pre-arrange this with a free lawyer / legal aid? I mean from Mexico and not being a Finnish citizen?
You can google oikeusapu and see if you qualify. My guess is that you do not, as you do not have finnish residence. Yet, I've guessed wrong many times before, so inquire about it, email and call.
Then she wanted to change lot's of things and one time she called me in a certain address in Finland while I was there visiting, the place result to be some kind of police building, and we had an interview with someone that was supposed to be a judge and he was saying certain things in that agreement can't be legalized, I obviously panic, I didn't know that man, or the place and with my very bad Suomi I understood this place was some kind of police facility, so well, I didn't signed anything.
And this did not ring any suspicion for you to inquire further? Under normal circumstances you'd be told about it in advance, you'd have a translator available or at least someone fluent in English there to help you. That's what you usually get in courts and child officers meetings.

MexicanFather wrote: She does not have full custody, we signed a first "mutual" agreement (not legalized in Finnish nor Mexican court) where I was able to have the joint custody, with she having a physical custody in Finland.
Were you married, at all, or was it even recognized under Finnish law? (See some other threads about marriage abroad being registered in Finland.) That is a very odd contract to have.
I'd try and find out to see if your ex has been receiving child support money from social security while at the same time receiving from you (you'd get something on her there.)

Btw, I have no insight, nor was I suggesting that your ex was a particularly cunning individual, although there are certainly such cases. It's just so that is rather difficult for someone to make a decision to divorce within some months. What is more common is people self deceiving themselves in order to deceive others.


Post Reply