What do you suggest?

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hell_sinking
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 11:40 pm

What do you suggest?

Post by hell_sinking » Mon May 08, 2017 12:32 am

Dear people,

I am a modest and average looking South Asian guy (34 yo). Last year, I met a girl (28 years old) through a family friend. She seemed kind, nice and friendly. After several months we got engaged and I came back to Finland. Recently, I have noticed that when I talk to her, it feels that she is very rude, selfish, insolent, and impatient. There is no sign of kindness and gratefulness in her voice. She gets angry easily. She told earlier that she wants to do higher study (MSc) in Finland but she is not learning English for IELTS. I feel that she only says "I love you" but her actions do not show any sign of it. Whatever she showed earlier, seems to be fake and full of hypocrisy. She denies things she told earlier.

Is she behaving like that because she might be suffering from a major depression or has she some mental issues which she hid from me nicely?
Or was she always like that (her behavior/attitude) but hid them from me?

I am confused and do not know what I should do in this situation. The situation is hampering my mental and physical health and job life as well. I am thinking of breaking the engagement as I feel betrayed.

It would be very kind of you if you would give me some good advice if you feel like rather than making fun of the fact.

I wish you all a nice week ahead.



What do you suggest?

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rinso
Posts: 3677
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2006 7:22 pm

Re: What do you suggest?

Post by rinso » Mon May 08, 2017 7:06 am

hell_sinking wrote:Dear people,

I am a modest and average looking South Asian guy (34 yo). Last year, I met a girl (28 years old) through a family friend. She seemed kind, nice and friendly. After several months we got engaged and I came back to Finland. Recently, I have noticed that when I talk to her, it feels that she is very rude, selfish, insolent, and impatient. There is no sign of kindness and gratefulness in her voice. She gets angry easily. She told earlier that she wants to do higher study (MSc) in Finland but she is not learning English for IELTS. I feel that she only says "I love you" but her actions do not show any sign of it. Whatever she showed earlier, seems to be fake and full of hypocrisy. She denies things she told earlier.

Is she behaving like that because she might be suffering from a major depression or has she some mental issues which she hid from me nicely?
Or was she always like that (her behavior/attitude) but hid them from me?

I am confused and do not know what I should do in this situation. The situation is hampering my mental and physical health and job life as well. I am thinking of breaking the engagement as I feel betrayed.

It would be very kind of you if you would give me some good advice if you feel like rather than making fun of the fact.

I wish you all a nice week ahead.
If you have the (un)conscious feeling that the relation is over, it probably is.
There might be other reasons. In that case you need to give her time. Be relaxed, don't try extra hard to be romantic and see if she comes around. If you also behave more distantly you'll soon know where she stands.


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Oombongo
Posts: 1900
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 11:19 am
Location: local sewer pipe

Re: What do you suggest?

Post by Oombongo » Mon May 08, 2017 12:07 pm

she might have other guy in her life already, and/or might have banged.
And there is no such thing as happy ending with a local lady. Just use the search.
As other poster hinted that if you got this "it is over feeling", then it is over. Mourn for the loss for a few days and get back in the game. There is plenty of fish in the pond.
And for the love of mankind, don't try to win her back anymore if you leave the building. It exists in stupid novels and romantic movies but real life is far different.
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ajdias
Posts: 2471
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 9:01 pm
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Re: What do you suggest?

Post by ajdias » Mon May 08, 2017 12:35 pm

What Rinso said. She doesn't respect you (or at least you don't feel respected by her), why would you want to be with someone like that?
(I know, it's not that as easily done as said...)

Run, just run.


hell_sinking
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 11:40 pm

Re: What do you suggest?

Post by hell_sinking » Wed May 10, 2017 1:53 pm

Thank you all.


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