Recommended Reading for Intercultural Couples

Family life in Finland from kindergartens, child education, language schooling and everyday life. Share information and experiences. Network with other families.
Geri Bush
Posts: 69
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2003 7:55 am
Location: Klaukkala

Post by Geri Bush » Wed Oct 01, 2003 8:47 pm

I agree with Hank, but I am a woman and wrote down the title. I might see if I can get it in the library. Always good to have things to nag about, Hank.

But one plus I've noticed in my relation. We speak finnish. And the second language thing forces me to think first before blurting out something rude. Many large battles have been avoided. :twisted:



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Caroline
Posts: 1113
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2003 8:38 pm

Post by Caroline » Fri Oct 03, 2003 2:21 pm

Geri Bush wrote:I agree with Hank, but I am a woman and wrote down the title. I might see if I can get it in the library. Always good to have things to nag about, Hank.

But one plus I've noticed in my relation. We speak finnish. And the second language thing forces me to think first before blurting out something rude. Many large battles have been avoided. :twisted:


I think Hank is actually interested in the book, but he just loves to tease people so he's pretending to disdain the idea :wink:

Folks, the book is really not preachy. Its purpose is to let intercultural couples know that no matter how unusual their problems may seem, they are most likely not alone, and by reading about others' solutions, readers can expand their perspectives and think about solutions for situations where they might otherwise feel so uncertain and confused. One reviewer said that the book is like "having a personal conversation with the author"-I definitely agree.

Geri, I'm not sure how many English-speaking psychology and personal growth books are available in libraries in Finland, but maybe the southern region has more than Oulu. You might need to order it via internet (again, I'm not paid to promote the book, I just really think it's a good investment :wink: )

On the bilingual children issue, I don't think it's at all strange for the parent to speak one language and the child to answer in the other. I know an expat and naturalized Finnish citizen from Togo (sp??) whose wife is Finnish. His native language is French I believe, and he speaks that to his children, and they understand, but they always answer in Finnish, which he of course speaks fluently.

I also have a Spanish-American acquaintance whose parents are natives of Puerto Rico and Spain; neither of whom speak English as their native language. But the kids grew up in NYC and in NJ, so they switch back and forth from Spanish to English as the situation demands- sometimes the father says something in Spanish and the kids answer in English, sometimes vice versa, sometimes the conversation is entirely in English or Spanish...etc etc.

It is also possible- though maybe a bit more difficult- for one of the parents to teach the child a language native to neither parent, without being really fluent in the language...but in that case it's usually necessary to have other influences in that language outside of the home, and for the parent to have a reasonable degree of skill in that language.......so for example Finnish-speaking parents teaching their child German, American parents teaching their child French...whatever.....


There really are so many possibilities, and there isn't a preferred method- each family does what works for them.
Former expat in Finland, now living in New Hampshire USA.

Remembah whea ya pahked ya cah!


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