My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

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winsiebunny
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:31 pm

My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by winsiebunny » Mon May 03, 2021 1:45 pm

Hello, everyone.

I have been dating a Finnish guy for 6 months. We have been living together since November 2020. He never shared the rent with me, he drinks a lot and lies in the bed almost for the whole time. I am so tired of him and I have said to him many times that I want to break up. I have tried to talk sense into him and have a nice ending.

But he does nothing and still lies on the bed for the whole time.

I am so tired and I think i will soon start to have mental problems.

I want to ask, in this case, would it be possible to seek help from the authorities, like the poliisi?

The rental agreement is only in my name.



My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

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FinnGuyHelsinki
Posts: 1439
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:52 pm

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by FinnGuyHelsinki » Mon May 03, 2021 2:39 pm

winsiebunny wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 1:45 pm
Hello, everyone.

I have been dating a Finnish guy for 6 months. We have been living together since November 2020. He never shared the rent with me, he drinks a lot and lies in the bed almost for the whole time. I am so tired of him and I have said to him many times that I want to break up. I have tried to talk sense into him and have a nice ending.

But he does nothing and still lies on the bed for the whole time.

I am so tired and I think i will soon start to have mental problems.

I want to ask, in this case, would it be possible to seek help from the authorities, like the poliisi?

The rental agreement is only in my name.
It might be easiest just to move elsewhere and end the rental contract with the current lessor. That way at least the guy will never have been a legal tenant in your future home, and therefore has no right of following you there (as opposed to living in your current home now). If the guy is not willing to move out, the alternative is to get a court order (which the police will eventually help enforce, if it comes to that). You or the landlord (legally) cannot just forcibly kick him and his stuff out of the apartment on your own, or change locks or something else along those lines.

FinlandGirl
Posts: 1329
Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 10:43 am

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by FinlandGirl » Mon May 03, 2021 3:11 pm

FinnGuyHelsinki wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 2:39 pm
winsiebunny wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 1:45 pm
The rental agreement is only in my name.
It might be easiest just to move elsewhere and end the rental contract with the current lessor. That way at least the guy will never have been a legal tenant in your future home,
He has never been a legal tenant in her current home, only a guest.

Ulminpoika
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 9:48 am

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by Ulminpoika » Mon May 03, 2021 5:20 pm

This sounds horrible. It must be terrible to have someone in your own home who you don't want to have there at all.

Here's a hotline number where you can get some consulting:
https://naistenlinja.fi/in-english/

Is the guy really aware that you did break up? Did you actually ask for the keys to your apartment?
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betelgeuse
Posts: 4353
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:24 am

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by betelgeuse » Mon May 03, 2021 5:51 pm

FinlandGirl wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 3:11 pm
FinnGuyHelsinki wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 2:39 pm
winsiebunny wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 1:45 pm
The rental agreement is only in my name.
It might be easiest just to move elsewhere and end the rental contract with the current lessor. That way at least the guy will never have been a legal tenant in your future home,
He has never been a legal tenant in her current home, only a guest.
Except he has: ” A married couple or persons living together as husband and wife without marriage (spouses) are jointly and severally liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement if they live together in a residential apartment leased by both spouses jointly or by one of them. If one spouse moves out, the spouse who has not leased the apartment shall continue to be liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement for as long as he or she lives in the apartment. Both spouses shall be given a hearing in any matter related to such apartment if this is considered necessary.”

https://www.finlex.fi/en/laki/kaannokse ... 950481.pdf

KatherineJoanna
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:22 pm

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by KatherineJoanna » Mon May 03, 2021 10:27 pm

betelgeuse wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 5:51 pm
FinlandGirl wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 3:11 pm
FinnGuyHelsinki wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 2:39 pm


It might be easiest just to move elsewhere and end the rental contract with the current lessor. That way at least the guy will never have been a legal tenant in your future home,
He has never been a legal tenant in her current home, only a guest.
Except he has: ” A married couple or persons living together as husband and wife without marriage (spouses) are jointly and severally liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement if they live together in a residential apartment leased by both spouses jointly or by one of them. If one spouse moves out, the spouse who has not leased the apartment shall continue to be liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement for as long as he or she lives in the apartment. Both spouses shall be given a hearing in any matter related to such apartment if this is considered necessary.”

https://www.finlex.fi/en/laki/kaannokse ... 950481.pdf
This seems like a huge flaw in the system. My ex-roommate moved her boyfriend into our place without any of our permission and legally there was nothing we or the landlord could do about it. I ended up having to move. I don't know what to suggest to OP other than do the same if it comes to it.

NukkuMatti
Posts: 273
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 9:51 pm

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by NukkuMatti » Wed May 05, 2021 11:34 pm

KatherineJoanna wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 10:27 pm
betelgeuse wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 5:51 pm
FinlandGirl wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 3:11 pm


He has never been a legal tenant in her current home, only a guest.
Except he has: ” A married couple or persons living together as husband and wife without marriage (spouses) are jointly and severally liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement if they live together in a residential apartment leased by both spouses jointly or by one of them. If one spouse moves out, the spouse who has not leased the apartment shall continue to be liable for the obligations deriving from the lease agreement for as long as he or she lives in the apartment. Both spouses shall be given a hearing in any matter related to such apartment if this is considered necessary.”

https://www.finlex.fi/en/laki/kaannokse ... 950481.pdf
This seems like a huge flaw in the system. My ex-roommate moved her boyfriend into our place without any of our permission and legally there was nothing we or the landlord could do about it. I ended up having to move. I don't know what to suggest to OP other than do the same if it comes to it.
Just an idea you can use as a template maybe... use it to create your own solution...Got the idea reading one of the replies on your OP.
You could exploit the flaw in the system by getting a new "boyfriend" that moves in with you and sleeps in the same bed... I mean your current ex would need to go to the toilet at least at some point in time... nice moment to switch places... I bet he will want to leave real quick... especially if your new boyfriend is 2 times bigger, has a motorbike and some very "convincing power gifted" friends... problem solved...

krapulassa
Posts: 83
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:23 pm

Re: My Ex Would Not Move Out,WHAT TO DO

Post by krapulassa » Thu May 06, 2021 12:01 am

winsiebunny wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 1:45 pm
I have been dating a Finnish guy for 6 months. We have been living together since November 2020. He never shared the rent with me, he drinks a lot and lies in the bed almost for the whole time. I am so tired of him and I have said to him many times that I want to break up. I have tried to talk sense into him and have a nice ending.
Kick him out. Grab him by the collar and drag his lazy a$$ out of the house and then change the locks to the apartment. Then get a court order saying that he cannot be within 500 meters of you because you are scared of him.


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