Depression and Finnish language

Where to buy? Where can I find? How do I? Getting started.
Cinead
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2019 9:49 pm

Depression and Finnish language

Post by Cinead » Wed Feb 27, 2019 10:17 pm

Hello everyone.

I'm Cinead, born and raised in France, from an armenian mother and a scottish father, although I've never visited neither places. French and English are the two languages I know.
I've moved to Finland 3 years ago, following my girlfriend-now-soon-to-be-wife and I had a past love for the country, loving snow, forests and heavy metal. Finland is dreamy in every way, but... I can't take the language.

I started studying finnish intensively 8 months ago, I might be level A2 or something... And I'm kind of depressed about it. Yeah I know it's silly. But I just can't like this language. Yes it's excruciatingly hard, and that's a big part as to why I can't foresee it being my default everyday language, but even if it wasn't hard I don't know if I would want to learn anyway, it unless I was absolutely forced to do it.I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life, I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc...

The sad thing is, Swedish and Norwegian are lovely sounding to mr and I would love to learn. I'm just fascinated by north germanic languages (again, not really related to the difficulty of it)

But that's the problem. I don't want to leave Finland. I finally got my residence permit, I'm loving everything about this place but, I often talk and dream of leaving it, for maybe Norway or Sweden, but it's in and of itself a really lomg amd hard process. Not only that, though !y fiancee being amazing and supportive keeps telling mr she would follow me anywhere, I can tell she wants to be close to her family and speak her mother tongue that is dear to her. I can't break her family likr that...I also feel bad of not being able to learn her mother tongue...

We talked every once in a while of moving to Scotland, it would be easy, we both speak English... and it's where my roots are, though I have no family left there and with the whole Brexit thing I can't even imagine how complex and dreadful the whole process is... And there's still the problem of taking her away from her family. AND it was for a bery long time my dream of living in a Nordic country.

So yeah sorry guys, first world problem, I know thousands of people are suffering everyday and I'm here moaning about how a hard language to learn makes me depressed... But I'm wondering if anyone has been or is in a similar predicament...

Cheers.



Depression and Finnish language

Sponsor:

Finland Forum Ad-O-Matic
 

User avatar
wolf80
Posts: 477
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:43 pm
Location: Helsinki

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by wolf80 » Sat Mar 02, 2019 1:22 am

Cinead wrote:
Wed Feb 27, 2019 10:17 pm
Hello everyone.

I'm Cinead, born and raised in France, from an armenian mother and a scottish father, although I've never visited neither places. French and English are the two languages I know.
I've moved to Finland 3 years ago, following my girlfriend-now-soon-to-be-wife and I had a past love for the country, loving snow, forests and heavy metal. Finland is dreamy in every way, but... I can't take the language.

I started studying finnish intensively 8 months ago, I might be level A2 or something... And I'm kind of depressed about it. Yeah I know it's silly. But I just can't like this language. Yes it's excruciatingly hard, and that's a big part as to why I can't foresee it being my default everyday language, but even if it wasn't hard I don't know if I would want to learn anyway, it unless I was absolutely forced to do it.I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life, I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc...

The sad thing is, Swedish and Norwegian are lovely sounding to mr and I would love to learn. I'm just fascinated by north germanic languages (again, not really related to the difficulty of it)

But that's the problem. I don't want to leave Finland. I finally got my residence permit, I'm loving everything about this place but, I often talk and dream of leaving it, for maybe Norway or Sweden, but it's in and of itself a really lomg amd hard process. Not only that, though !y fiancee being amazing and supportive keeps telling mr she would follow me anywhere, I can tell she wants to be close to her family and speak her mother tongue that is dear to her. I can't break her family likr that...I also feel bad of not being able to learn her mother tongue...

We talked every once in a while of moving to Scotland, it would be easy, we both speak English... and it's where my roots are, though I have no family left there and with the whole Brexit thing I can't even imagine how complex and dreadful the whole process is... And there's still the problem of taking her away from her family. AND it was for a bery long time my dream of living in a Nordic country.

So yeah sorry guys, first world problem, I know thousands of people are suffering everyday and I'm here moaning about how a hard language to learn makes me depressed... But I'm wondering if anyone has been or is in a similar predicament...

Cheers.
Yes, Finnish is very hard. All foreigners struggle.

Nevertheless - there is no way around it. You wanna spend your life in Finland, you have to learn it sooner or later. Find a learning method that helps you. Courses, apps, personal training, language cafés, books, whatever. Use whatever motivates you and helps you learn. Learn to be happy with the little steps you make. There is no other way. You are not alone.


heretostay
Posts: 189
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:54 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by heretostay » Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:01 am

Move to a Swedish speaking area of Finland?


Bookcase
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:21 am

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by Bookcase » Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:03 am

I am an Australian learning Finnish for 5 months, however I am passionate about the language and love learning it.

Here's some ideas from a foreigner:

As one of the official languages of Finland is Swedish, and you are fascinated to learn it – could you focus on learning Swedish over the next years and become fluent in Swedish?

Then you and your partner could move to live in one of the predominantly Swedish speaking towns in Finland? I've read articles written by Finns on how it is now possible to live in some regions in Finland speaking only Swedish your whole life. Such as living in Hammarland, Finström, Föglö, or Geta. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_m ... l_language


Then you and your partner can stay living in Finland and speak English to each other at home, you can speak Swedish where you live and work, and your partner can speak Finnish and Swedish, and any kids you have will grow up tri-lingual. I have heard of some Finnish families who do this.


Good luck.


User avatar
wolf80
Posts: 477
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:43 pm
Location: Helsinki

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by wolf80 » Sat Mar 02, 2019 9:34 am

Bookcase wrote:
Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:03 am
Such as living in Hammarland, Finström, Föglö, or Geta.
These are all located on the Åland Islands, far away from mainland Finland. Limited job possibilities, and the culture is not Finnish at all but more Swedish.

Yes, you can choose to live in one of the Swedish speaking areas on the mainland, BUT - you limit yourself a lot when it comes to job possibilities, and also your partner's job options.


User avatar
browndude
Posts: 223
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:16 pm
Location: Helsinki

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by browndude » Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:45 pm

You use the word dreamy a few times in you original posting which makes me think that you are a first-world dreamer and being from the "third world", normally, I would have told you to "suck it up buttercup". Dreams are good but if you do not put in the hard work, they will just remain dreams and you will move from one dream to another feeling discontent and wondering why your dreams never become a reality. I do not know how else to put it except that sometimes, things are difficult and you just have to push through the difficulty.

BUT, I do appreciate the fact that you have been very open with your feelings about this matter and that you understand that this is a first world problem. So I will be encouraging :). Finnish is very difficult for almost everyone (unless you speak Estonian or Karelian for example) and you just have to keep sticking with it before it becomes easy. Realistically it will take many years before you will feel comfortable using Finnish. Taking courses alone is not enough nor is it enjoyable in the long run. I myself am farily fluent now. I moved here over 8 years ago, but I am still learning new things about this language all the time. I took altogether 4 months or so of courses after that, I started wacthing movies in Finnish with English subtitles as well as English movies with Finnish subtitles, but what really ramped up the learning was working in Finnish only settings. It certainly is possible to live here without learning Finnish. But yes, this will limit your life greatly.

If you know Finnish upto B2/C1 level, then things will start getting a lot easier and many of the feelings of frustration that you talk about may disappear. To my ears, some of the things you have mentioned are not what I would consider sensible reasons for you to put your partner through the upheavel of leaving her family behind ("I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life", "I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc..."). For example, many immigrants parents do not speak Finnish to their kids so what you state makes no logical sense to me. But again, this may be more related to feelings rather than logic and feelings can be valid.

Be aware that if you move her away from her home country, she willl most likely experience some of what you are feeling and she might eventually end up resenting you for it. At the end of the day, you have to think long and hard and figure out whether this frustration you feel is due to how you feel about the language or whether it is something more than that and decide with your partner on what the best course of action would be for you.
ImageImage


undertakerfreak
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:57 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by undertakerfreak » Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:48 pm

Yeah, I've been here a year, and I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll never be fluent in Finnish, and I really don't care anymore. My wife speaks perfect English (she spent nine years in England as that's where her father's job took her family) and I don't like most humans in general, therefore, very little interaction. But, on the off chance that I do care enough to make a friend outside of my wife and her family, pretty much every human around my age I've met here speaks passable-to-fluent English. So, if I never learn Finnish, BFD

Plus, I secretly kind of like pissing off these old-timers who hate immigrants who don't speak their language in THEIR country, as if their birth entitled them to ownership of the land somehow. Same old BS you get in the US with these "our language is English!" rednecks


undertakerfreak
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:57 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by undertakerfreak » Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:51 pm

wolf80 wrote:
Sat Mar 02, 2019 1:22 am

You wanna spend your life in Finland, you have to learn it sooner or later.
Says who, you? If you want to be a citizen, sure. If you're content with being a permanent resident, then who really cares, aside from nationalists and jerks?

Unless you need to find a job/ study here, then it's a bit different.


User avatar
browndude
Posts: 223
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:16 pm
Location: Helsinki

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by browndude » Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:13 pm

undertakerfreak wrote:
Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:51 pm
wolf80 wrote:
Sat Mar 02, 2019 1:22 am

You wanna spend your life in Finland, you have to learn it sooner or later.
Says who, you? If you want to be a citizen, sure. If you're content with being a permanent resident, then who really cares, aside from nationalists and jerks?

Unless you need to find a job/ study here, then it's a bit different.
Undertakerfreak? And you say you you don't like most humans in general eh? :lol:
Life in Finland will be a lot easier if you speak Finnish, just as life in France will be a lot easier if you speak French etc...
Your life your choice.
ImageImage


User avatar
agroot
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2018 5:04 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by agroot » Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:53 pm

Wouldn't citizenship grant more benefits, such as voting and the right to live anywhere within EU? If you pass age 30 there wouldn't be conscription but I heard it's fun.


User avatar
browndude
Posts: 223
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:16 pm
Location: Helsinki

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by browndude » Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:51 pm

agroot wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:53 pm
Wouldn't citizenship grant more benefits, such as voting and the right to live anywhere within EU? If you pass age 30 there wouldn't be conscription but I heard it's fun.
Yes, it grants many, many more rights. e.g. even a permanant resident moving abroad for a while will have to reapply for a basic residency permit again, whereas a citizen can come and go as they please. Also, if you are a Finnish citizen, and you do something dumb and end up vankilassa ulkomaailla, the Finnish govt./EU will do their best to get your ass out.
ImageImage


undertakerfreak
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:57 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by undertakerfreak » Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:16 am

I'm not even eligible for citizenship for another few years, so I have plenty of time to worry about whether or not I want to try to learn this language that I'm 90 percent certain I'll never be fluent in.


NeverTooNorth
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:55 pm

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by NeverTooNorth » Tue Mar 12, 2019 8:51 am

My kids are going to be fluent in Finnish. I don't want them to have their secret language.
That's my major motivation.


vla
Posts: 103
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by vla » Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:00 pm

undertakerfreak wrote:
Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:16 am
I'm not even eligible for citizenship for another few years, so I have plenty of time to worry about whether or not I want to try to learn this language that I'm 90 percent certain I'll never be fluent in.
That's a great attitude :)


vla
Posts: 103
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Depression and Finnish language

Post by vla » Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:01 pm

NeverTooNorth wrote:
Tue Mar 12, 2019 8:51 am
My kids are going to be fluent in Finnish. I don't want them to have their secret language.
That's my major motivation.
I agree, that's my motivation as well. Besides, I have friends with kids or grandparent that don't speak english, so it would be nice to be able to talk to them as well.


Post Reply