Divorcing & Finnish wife's dad's inheritance

[Gentrified]

Hi all,

I'm from Australia and have been living in Finland with my family for almost 2 years now. I've had decent work in Australia and had some savings to help support us whilst I started a business. I always wanted to try life in europe, and my wife wanted to be close to her family, so we decided to put everything we had into storage and move to Finland. I assumed that we would have a support network here in her home town where her brother and his family live. But the only support I've found is through my own contacts because a strange and unwelcoming dynamic exists between me and the in-laws (I've always tried maintain good relationships with them).

Last year her father died suddenly. The weirdness got weirder with the in-laws to the point that I was not invited to my father-in-law's funeral (we had a great relationship and he was especially important to me since I lost my dad when I was young). Instead of feeling welcomed into the extended family, I'm now estranged. Throw on top the fact that I'm working hard and she isn't, and it really isn't working.

Before leaving Australia we had agreed that, because it's her home turf & other stuff, that she would work and I could focus on establishing my own business. Instead, I have worked since arriving and she hasn't. On top of that, she's taken holidays and enjoyed herself on her father's inheritance. Now that has all been spent, she's coming after the savings that I had hoped would last and allow me to transition into my own business.

After a few months of money related arguments, she's filed for divorce. It hurts, but I'm kind of relieved.

I'm not sure what to do to minimize the damage. I managed to get a mortgage and buy a house but she's 50% owner (it was my paid work here and my working through everything with the banks that made it happen... but I feel like I stand to lose everything).

Is there somewhere I can look up how much she inherited? (If she's coming after my startup savings, then I can come after the inheritance that wasn't shared.) I've always tried to put establishment and security ahead of fun & holidays. We've been married close to 20yrs and the house here is the first property we ever began to purchase. I've been trying to save and invest and build up security, she's always spending. She's had four eu holidays to my 1 in the almost 2 years we've been here. My savings are supposed to be _my_ bridge to a more balanced life, and not another stash of cash that she can get at. (If things felt like they were working, then of course I'd support my wife... but I've realized that I'm probably just a convenience, not a partner, to her.) Maybe I should start rolling more of it into my retirement savings to protect it?

Ain't divorce grand. Any tips?

[mois_2012]

Hi all,

I'm from Australia and have been living in Finland with my family for almost 2 years now. I've had decent work in Australia and had some savings to help support us whilst I started a business. I always wanted to try life in europe, and my wife wanted to be close to her family, so we decided to put everything we had into storage and move to Finland. I assumed that we would have a support network here in her home town where her brother and his family live. But the only support I've found is through my own contacts because a strange and unwelcoming dynamic exists between me and the in-laws (I've always tried maintain good relationships with them).

Last year her father died suddenly. The weirdness got weirder with the in-laws to the point that I was not invited to my father-in-law's funeral (we had a great relationship and he was especially important to me since I lost my dad when I was young). Instead of feeling welcomed into the extended family, I'm now estranged. Throw on top the fact that I'm working hard and she isn't, and it really isn't working.

Before leaving Australia we had agreed that, because it's her home turf & other stuff, that she would work and I could focus on establishing my own business. Instead, I have worked since arriving and she hasn't. On top of that, she's taken holidays and enjoyed herself on her father's inheritance. Now that has all been spent, she's coming after the savings that I had hoped would last and allow me to transition into my own business.

After a few months of money related arguments, she's filed for divorce. It hurts, but I'm kind of relieved.

I'm not sure what to do to minimize the damage. I managed to get a mortgage and buy a house but she's 50% owner (it was my paid work here and my working through everything with the banks that made it happen... but I feel like I stand to lose everything).

Is there somewhere I can look up how much she inherited? (If she's coming after my startup savings, then I can come after the inheritance that wasn't shared.) I've always tried to put establishment and security ahead of fun & holidays. We've been married close to 20yrs and the house here is the first property we ever began to purchase. I've been trying to save and invest and build up security, she's always spending. She's had four eu holidays to my 1 in the almost 2 years we've been here. My savings are supposed to be _my_ bridge to a more balanced life, and not another stash of cash that she can get at. (If things felt like they were working, then of course I'd support my wife... but I've realized that I'm probably just a convenience, not a partner, to her.) Maybe I should start rolling more of it into my retirement savings to protect it?

Ain't divorce grand. Any tips?

Sorry to hear about your situation. It seems you loved your wife too much.....
Anyways, maybe you can contact a lawyer from here by putting right/required information and they might have some right information for you.

https://www.asianajajaliitto.fi/en/lega ... d_a_lawyer

[suomynona.yllatot]

can I start with an insult please? pretty please? while I am at it, it is insulting myself as well, just that I covered my ass better! being a risk-analyst paid off, he?

here goes: "I never understood the intelligence of anyone marrying these!" Of all the ones available! Not to say that Sydney/ Brisbane/ chicks are any better! I've kinda given up!

Sorry mate, but tough luck! It ain't a fair fight. No prenup either? All assets will go 50-50.

However, regarding the house, if she is 50% owner, does she not also have the 50% of the loan liability? Keep that in mind. Or did you take the loan liability on yourself with the assets named jointly?

get a lawyer as suggested above, and her assets (whatever from her inheritance and to-be, including valuables get split). but anyway, has she claimed anything? I knew a bloke long while ago, wife divorced, took the kid and moved somewhere else. didn't ask for anything. Maybe you get lucky as well.

but step 1: Sell the house. Make sure there are no further mortgages on the house
step 2: check for additional loans etc. married couples are jointly liable as far as I can remember.
step 3: if she has NOT paid for her share of the living expenses, pull that out, pull out all electricity/ water/ garbage/ car/house maintenance/ whatever, that is her liability towards you. If I remember correctly, that should count as well.

Final advice: cut your losses, get a wife from the SEA region, you have to be careful though. Some of the East European countries have women with a good head as well.

[betelgeuse]

step 2: check for additional loans etc. married couples are jointly liable as far as I can remember.

They are not in Finland. You are only liable for things that you have personally agreed to with the exception of daily expenses (credit card debit for food etc).

"During marriage, a spouse is liable for a debt he or she has taken himself/herself. Nor will a spouse, after dissolution of marriage, become liable for a debt taken by the other spouse alone. However, if the spouses so wish, they can raise a common loan. The spouses are also jointly liable for a debt taken by one of the spouses alone for the maintenance of the family (e.g. in a case where the spouse has purchased food supplies or necessary furniture on credit)."

https://oikeus.fi/en/index/esitteet/avi ... tossa.html

Is there somewhere I can look up how much she inherited? (If she's coming after my startup savings, then I can come after the inheritance that wasn't shared.)

Ask the tax authority (Verohallinto) for the estate inventory deed (perukirja).

"If needed, electronic records of an estate inventory deed that has been submitted to the Tax Administration can be retrieved from our archives. Copies of an inventory deed and its enclosures can be given to anyone who needs data included in the documents in order to exercise their rights and interests, or to fulfil their duties. If you ask for a copy for purposes other than taxation, it is subject to a fee."

https://www.vero.fi/en/individuals/prop ... state_inv/

[Maeke]

Wow! That is some crooked story.
For the inlaws to treat you as such, I wonder what kind of things she was telling them about you.
Hang in there bud!
Last question.... Have you considered heading back to Australia / New Zealand? Lots of fine women in that area!