my 17months old dauther does not listen!! i can tell her NO NO NO, re-direct her, time her out and Nothing Works!!! i don't know what to do with her.. she tells us NO every time we ask her to do something... she wouldn't even want to lean what we are trying to teach her. i figure a lot of it can have to do with having another baby (3months old now).. so i'm going to see what i can do to give her more of my time and hopefully pull her out of this stage.. anyone else dealing with this?
cheers
my lovly DD
my lovly DD
Last edited by happymum on Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Always Love, Happymum 2 Wendy, Williams & Whitney
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superiorinferior
- Posts: 2245
- Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2004 3:44 pm
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Re: my lovly DD
You spank your 17 month old baby?happymum wrote:my 17months old dauther does not listen!! i can tell her NO NO NO , spank her, re-direct her, time her out and Nothing Works!!! i don't know what to do with her.. she tells us NO every time we ask her to do something... she wouldn't even want to lean what we are trying to teach her. i figure a lot of it can have to do with having another baby (3months old now).. so i'm going to see what i can do to give her more of my time and hopefully pull her out of this stage.. anyone else dealing with this?
cheers
Re: my lovly DD
Have to say, I was shocked to read that too.superiorinferior wrote:You spank your 17 month old baby?happymum wrote:my 17months old dauther does not listen!! i can tell her NO NO NO , spank her, re-direct her, time her out and Nothing Works!!! i don't know what to do with her.. she tells us NO every time we ask her to do something... she wouldn't even want to lean what we are trying to teach her. i figure a lot of it can have to do with having another baby (3months old now).. so i'm going to see what i can do to give her more of my time and hopefully pull her out of this stage.. anyone else dealing with this?
cheers
Re: my lovly DD
...so she is probably listening. Terrible Twos.happymum wrote:my 17months old daugther does not listen!! .......she tells us NO every time we ask her to do something...
Best advice,
1) ignore her TOTALLY when she is like that (she is winding you up, it's a fun game).
2) positive reinforcement when she DOES do something without saying no (sounds geeky but it really works)
3) stop spanking (you are not allowed to do that, so be careful if you are in public....
)4) buy a book on raising toddlers..... to be read with a pince of salt.... but generally worth the money.
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scoobymcdoo
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 9:46 pm
Hiya
No is the favourite word for all toddlers, it can be one of their first words and they will use it whatever...even if they want to say yes. Just try not to give her the option of saying no.
What are you trying to teach her? A child wont learn if they are not interested. Follow her lead and see what she is interested in. When Sophie taught herself all the letter names and sounds she did that herself without my teaching, she has no interest in learning the numbers so I'm not even going to try and teach her those. When she wants to learn you can encourage her then. A 17 month old does not need to know shapes, colours, letters, numbers etc...unless they teach themselves.
Give Wendy choice, make her think that her ideas count. When it comes to bed time, ask her which pyjamas she wants to wear- give her a choice of 2 and let her choose. This will give her a sense of responsibilty. The same for dinner, let her choose the colour of plate she wants etc.
The main thing is to be consistent in whatever you say, dont say something you cant follow through. e.g. if you dont eat your dinner then you wont get an apple. If she doesn't eat her dinner dont give her the apple. If you threatened to remove a favourite toy, make sure you do.
When Sophie was biting us, we ignored it (however painful), picked her up and put her arms length away from us...she hated that as we didn't say anything to her. A week later the biting stopped- I think this was due to always doing the same thing when she bit us.
As Penelope said, praise the good and ignore the bad. All the time keep praising her. When she is sitting at dinner just a quick 'you are sitting really well' does wonders, or if she is playing nicely just say 'wow, you are playing with your xyz very well'. If she is near Williams before she even goes to touch him say things like 'you are so good at looking after him', she may rethink about poking him or whatever.
I know that they all drive us crazy at times and frustrate us beyond belief, but spanking wont help at all.
We can talk more next M and Ms if you want.
Sorry for the garbled message, i have one demanding 19 month old here trying to help type!
Hannah
No is the favourite word for all toddlers, it can be one of their first words and they will use it whatever...even if they want to say yes. Just try not to give her the option of saying no.
What are you trying to teach her? A child wont learn if they are not interested. Follow her lead and see what she is interested in. When Sophie taught herself all the letter names and sounds she did that herself without my teaching, she has no interest in learning the numbers so I'm not even going to try and teach her those. When she wants to learn you can encourage her then. A 17 month old does not need to know shapes, colours, letters, numbers etc...unless they teach themselves.
Give Wendy choice, make her think that her ideas count. When it comes to bed time, ask her which pyjamas she wants to wear- give her a choice of 2 and let her choose. This will give her a sense of responsibilty. The same for dinner, let her choose the colour of plate she wants etc.
The main thing is to be consistent in whatever you say, dont say something you cant follow through. e.g. if you dont eat your dinner then you wont get an apple. If she doesn't eat her dinner dont give her the apple. If you threatened to remove a favourite toy, make sure you do.
When Sophie was biting us, we ignored it (however painful), picked her up and put her arms length away from us...she hated that as we didn't say anything to her. A week later the biting stopped- I think this was due to always doing the same thing when she bit us.
As Penelope said, praise the good and ignore the bad. All the time keep praising her. When she is sitting at dinner just a quick 'you are sitting really well' does wonders, or if she is playing nicely just say 'wow, you are playing with your xyz very well'. If she is near Williams before she even goes to touch him say things like 'you are so good at looking after him', she may rethink about poking him or whatever.
I know that they all drive us crazy at times and frustrate us beyond belief, but spanking wont help at all.
We can talk more next M and Ms if you want.
Sorry for the garbled message, i have one demanding 19 month old here trying to help type!
Hannah
Happymum,
time outs doesn´t work in this age, here is a good list about age-appropriate discipline techniques:
http://drphil.com/articles/article/249
You´ll find other useful tips there too!
time outs doesn´t work in this age, here is a good list about age-appropriate discipline techniques:
http://drphil.com/articles/article/249
You´ll find other useful tips there too!
i,m not teacher her things like shapes colours letters number ete. she will come bring books for me to read 4 her, if i try reading for her she will be crying, if i stop she also crying.scoobymcdoo wrote:Hiya
No is the favourite word for all toddlers, it can be one of their first words and they will use it whatever...even if they want to say yes. Just try not to give her the option of saying no.
What are you trying to teach her? A child wont learn if they are not interested. Follow her lead and see what she is interested in. When Sophie taught herself all the letter names and sounds she did that herself without my teaching, she has no interest in learning the numbers so I'm not even going to try and teach her those. When she wants to learn you can encourage her then. A 17 month old does not need to know shapes, colours, letters, numbers etc...unless they teach themselves.
when the brother is sleeping she will go there and take his dummy from him.if i try to teach that is wrong she wouldn't listen... the next min she doing that again looking into my eyes to say yes i did it again what can u do... she poking williams is what i really hate.i spank her only when she hit williams with toys. the spanking is like a game for her.... spank me i spank u with two figer we use for each other.
she never want to sit in her pram when we are out.
Last edited by happymum on Sat Oct 28, 2006 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Always Love, Happymum 2 Wendy, Williams & Whitney
Taking the dummy from her little brother is a typical of example of trying to get your attention. She KNOWS she mustn't do it, you really don't have to explain it to her. That is why she is staring you out
Just ignore her completely, as if you haven't noticed, don't stare back at her, just carry on doing whatever you were doing. If the baby wakes up, don't give your daughter the attention she is seeking. Continue to ignore her. She will soon figure out that dummy stealing is a waste of time.
To avoid the situation it is a good idea to give her something to do when the baby is asleep. It's a special ime for her when little brother is out of the way. Make it a treat time when you and her can do something together.
I think it is great that she wants to walk on her own and not sit in the pram. But she will have to understand that she must keep up with you if she wants to walk. Don't be afraid to walk away from her, she will not hold back for long. We had a rule that if the boys wanted to walk (I had 3 under 4 yrs when the youngest was born so somebody had to walk!) they had to hold the pushchair.
Be consistent, never give in. Otherwise things will get (much) worse. You have to be firm.
But remember to give her tons of smiles and hugs (and treats) when she does something the right way.
Just ignore her completely, as if you haven't noticed, don't stare back at her, just carry on doing whatever you were doing. If the baby wakes up, don't give your daughter the attention she is seeking. Continue to ignore her. She will soon figure out that dummy stealing is a waste of time.
To avoid the situation it is a good idea to give her something to do when the baby is asleep. It's a special ime for her when little brother is out of the way. Make it a treat time when you and her can do something together.
I think it is great that she wants to walk on her own and not sit in the pram. But she will have to understand that she must keep up with you if she wants to walk. Don't be afraid to walk away from her, she will not hold back for long. We had a rule that if the boys wanted to walk (I had 3 under 4 yrs when the youngest was born so somebody had to walk!) they had to hold the pushchair.
Be consistent, never give in. Otherwise things will get (much) worse. You have to be firm.
But remember to give her tons of smiles and hugs (and treats) when she does something the right way.
hey girsl.. thanks!! She keeps me on my toes for sure!! and i do work on the routine.. Since the move she is an early rise!! I do show her i'm the boss, but she for some reason still thinks she owns me!! haha!! she does .. but i put my foot down. I will continue to use the Dr phill method until she understands.. but then she she does understand and she then laughs at me and still does it... my mom said i was the same way... i feel soooo sorry for my mom now days! i keep saying i'm sorry to her every time we get on the subject. this kid is too smart for her own good!! hopefuly we an get past this little stage quick....
read what she did this morning as we drive to nuovola
she figured out how to unlatch her car seat.. so while we are driving down the road thinking she is okay... she comes to the front.. i FREAK OUT!! thinking omg... did i forget to buckle her.. NOPE.. i put her in it and she did it again! we have to go buy her a new car seat.
read what she did this morning as we drive to nuovola
she figured out how to unlatch her car seat.. so while we are driving down the road thinking she is okay... she comes to the front.. i FREAK OUT!! thinking omg... did i forget to buckle her.. NOPE.. i put her in it and she did it again! we have to go buy her a new car seat.
Always Love, Happymum 2 Wendy, Williams & Whitney
Perhaps a swap with this one and she will not do it again:penelope wrote:Taking the dummy from her little brother is a typical of example of trying to get your attention. .
http://www.atelier-v.ch/titel_a.jpg
Non niin...so you can see I was not a very helpfull parent...
People do not become more irritable as they grow old - they simply stop making the effort to avoid annoying others.
Suomen Laki
Rikoslaki 21 luku 7 §
Lievä pahoinpitely. Jos paihoinpitely, huomioon ottaen väkivallan, ruumiillisen koskemattomuuden loukkauksen tai terveyden vähäisyys taikka muut rikokseen liittyvät seikat, on kokonaisuutena arvostellen vähäinen, on tuomittava lievästä pahoinpitelystä sakkoon.
Spanking is a crime in Finland and your daughter being only 17 months old makes it even worse- stop it.
I do know a stongwilled toddler can be a challenge but please get help.
What you are doing is a crime.
Lievä pahoinpitely. Jos paihoinpitely, huomioon ottaen väkivallan, ruumiillisen koskemattomuuden loukkauksen tai terveyden vähäisyys taikka muut rikokseen liittyvät seikat, on kokonaisuutena arvostellen vähäinen, on tuomittava lievästä pahoinpitelystä sakkoon.
Spanking is a crime in Finland and your daughter being only 17 months old makes it even worse- stop it.
I do know a stongwilled toddler can be a challenge but please get help.
What you are doing is a crime.
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Amandine.K
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- Location: Helsinki
i'm not feeling worse. my mum ask me to do just that, but it should be with my two figers and not with my full hand and not with anything. though she think is a game trying also to get her two figers out and spank us too... i'm trying to let her know i'm not playing a game but serious.Don't make her feel worse than she does already!
Always Love, Happymum 2 Wendy, Williams & Whitney
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littlefrank
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You should never hit a child it's barbaric, they look to you for love and protection, and if your child is feeling left out, then she needs some extra affection to know that she is still special for you. I have never smacked my child and I never will, because there are better ways of dealing with a childs 'difficult' behaviour. If I think I'm going to lose it I go and sit in the bathroom.
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- Popular Mechanics, 1949