help needed

[mikakimilakin]

My BF is a finn, currently study at some polytech. I work at Stora Enso, for my work and his study, we only call each other on weekends.
last weekend, I was sick at hospital and later at night when i was back home, he called me, we were talking. Then her mother called and asked him to drive her to supermarket. I said I did want to go on talking with him, while he said he had to left to drive his mother.So he left, even i complained that he could not even afford an hour every week for me.

I wonder, is it normal? I could hardly understand because obviously her mom can take a taxi or bus, and her mom is only going to buy shampoo for her daughter.

As I am a Chinese and I work in Stora Enso Shanghai, I really doubt that he would care about me there, when i was at hospital, he didnt even say any greetings, he only replied after i called him 3 times.
And his relationship with his sister makes me hard to understand, he said in front of me that his sister is the person he care most in his life, and he did. Besides, his sister is that kind of person who smokes, drinks, go to bars everyday and color hair to different colors every week, now she is living with some criminals. Is it normal that a guy would take his sister as the most important person in his life in Finland?

[Mölkky-Fan]

It does not sound like he thinks your relationship is as strong as you do. I would not be quite so serious at this stage. I knew many foreign men who would have relationships with Chinese girls, and very few materialised into long lasting marriage.

However, it is true that we do value our families, but when I was living in China I think the Chinese also value their family relationships... so you should not be so surprised.

It seems like a bit of a culture clash to me... by the way, drinking, smoking and going to bars is quite normal here (and also in China) and changing hair colours is also quite normal for young Finnish girls (plus some older ladies).

Maybe you should start doing this as well, as your BF seems to prefer this type of behaviour

[mikakimilakin]

Hi, Molkky, first, i would thanks for your reply.

When we gave gift to his sister's BF, his sister just opened everything by herself and took it by herself. Is it also normal?

And my BF would want to give my new cloth, necklace to his sister, is it also normal?

He said his sister is sensitive and needs best care from everyone, would it be just an excuse that he is playing around and doesnt care about me? Or will people get better treated if they are weaker?

[rinso]

If you're in China and he is in Finland and he is behaving like this, I bet he is not interested in you any more. He probably even is cheating on you.
Just forget him.

[sammy]

If you're in China and he is in Finland and he is behaving like this, I bet he is not interested in you any more. He probably even is cheating on you.
Just forget him.

That's the best advice I'd say, unfortunately. It sounds cruel, but you will not gain anything, and least of all happiness, by wasting your wishes, hopes and dreams to someone who rather obviously forgets you at the drop of a hat.

Besides -if I may say so- your relationship is not on a very strong basis if you do not even appear to know where your BF is studying.

My BF is a finn, currently study at some polytech.

That's more or less all I can say... don't know you, don't know him - you're the best expert in this matter.

[Hank W.]

Life ain't fair. Howcome all these loosers always find these Chinese or other foreign girlfriends?

I'd have all the good traits, no close living relatives except my nephew and my sisters, of even the other lives in France so annoys me only once a year

[mikakimilakin]

Hi, i know where he is studying. actually i made him go back to school as he really doesnt like school at all before.
Am i so useless to love such a guy?

[sammy]

Am i so useless to love such a guy?

We wouldn't know, now would we...

That is precisely the question you've got to ask yourself I'm afraid...

[EP]

mom is only going to buy shampoo for her daughter.

Odd, why would a mother buy shampoo for her adult daughter? How would she even know what shampoo to buy? And nobody goes shopping just for one bottle of shampoo. Or if she does, she just marches to the nearest market, a supermarket would be a waste of time.

I don´t believe this.

[simon]

mom is only going to buy shampoo for her daughter.

Odd, why would a mother buy shampoo for her adult daughter? How would she even know what shampoo to buy?

Derr.....its koskis, dont you know

[mikakimilakin]

last night, he called me to explain all this. he told me that because her sister was at some care center, she commited suicide two days ago. But he didnt not tell me anything when i begged to give me 10 minutes more. so now it seems i am the unreasonalbe one. seems i shuold be blame for this, i should be punished for this.
but why should i be blame for her sister's pretending suicide behavior?

BTW, her sister commited suicide and then called ambulance.

[Hank W.]

her sister was at some care center, she commited suicide two days ago.

Err... if you commit suicide then you are at the morgue in a coffin

seems i shuold be blame for this, i should be punished for this.

So the sister is now hopping behind you at night?

[karen]

If you believe him, then be patient and let him get through this and take care of his family then talk about your relationship. If you don't believe him, let him get through this and forget about him. If his sister really attempted suicide, then he has far more on his mind than his relationship with you. Trying to force some kind of a commitment out of him now is selfish. If he loves you now, he'll still love you in a couple of weeks. If he doesn't, you'll soon figure that out.