My 9 months in the Finnish Army

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Sibelius
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My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Tue May 26, 2009 7:51 pm

So, it's been awhile since I posted on these forums, so I'll describe myself before I launch into my story of epic battles against Finnish polar bears and surviving the brutal arctic winter in little sissitelta! I'm a Finnish-American from California who, for some reason, decided to join the Finnish Army right after high-school, just for the hell of it. I couldn't speak a word of Finnish when I started, but that didn't dissuade me. Since I can't recap 9 months of experience in one thread, I'll talk about the most important part, what's it like to be a English-speakier in the Finnish Army.

In short, it was frustrating and painful.

But hey, that is what it is like for everyone! However, it did come with some extra hardships, although any idiot can go through the army without knowing the language (army training is designed that way for a reason), it can be hard in understanding what's going on, and in terms of social dynamics within the group. It was cool though, most young Finnish guys can speak pretty good English, and if they can't, wait till they're drunk. :beer_yum:

I wasn't the only one who couldn't speak Finnish, in my training group, we had 2 Germans, 4 Austrialians, 4 Americans, and one dude from Mexico who couldn't even speak English. It was awesome. It was quite an adventure, no matter how miserable now that I look back on it. We camped in the woods, choking on tear-gas, ran through blazing napalm, used all sorts of explosives like rocket launchers and grenades, shot automatic weapons, played war-games, learned some martial arts, went on really long hikes, and had a generally testorone-filled time of "fun". I have plenty of army horror stories to tell people about now, things I never could imagine myself doing on my own. When I wasn't on base, I took trips to Estonia, Sweden, Lapland, and Germany on my vacation days, making it a cool time to travel Europe as well. I made alot of friends and connections that will last a life-time. :D

I learned quite a bit of Finnish, I discovered I have a talent for languages, since I caught on alot faster than any of the other English-speaking guys, and I continue to study Finnish now with my mother, although my dialect is very inflected with army slang. Here are some things I learned about Finland:

1) Finland is cold.
2) It's also very dark.
3) It's very wet.
4) I now understand why Finns like summer so much.
5) I also understand why they drink so much.
6) Finnish women are beautiful, but complete ice queens.
7) Everyone is a racist.
8) Finns are some of the crudest, yet most honest people I've met.
9) When going to a house party, you must bring your own alcohol for consumption.
10) Swedish people really are gay.

Even though it was painful, hard, and often boring at times, it was WORTH IT. You learn so many new social skills (you live in a room with 12 other people), you discover alot more about yourself, and how about other people. If any of you guys live outside of Finland are considering doing your service, I highly encourage you to do your service. If you have kids who have Finnish citizenship, I reccomend introducing your kid to the idea of it, and keep the option a active factor in their life. I really gained a cemented a connection to Finland with my military service, alot of the guys who teased me at first for coming later came up to me and told me that they really respected and admired that I came all this way to do my army service, and I've made everybody in my family proud. At the end of it all, I sensed that people really considered me to be a Finn rather an American, which is a cool feeling of gratification. :shock:

Anyways, if you have any questions about my service, or the specifics of what army life is like, ask away and I'll explain the best I can. I'm at work right now, so when I am at home, I'll write a more descriptive detail of my service on Santahamina, with plenty of pictures. :ochesey:


"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

My 9 months in the Finnish Army

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Pursuivant
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Tue May 26, 2009 7:57 pm

Yay! Welcome back! We thought you came and went home on the milk cart as you went so much under the radar. So, did we scare you enough or was it still a shock treatment? Hmmm... 9 months, that means you made it into a specialist, so thats then military police or bandage detail?
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."

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Sibelius
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Tue May 26, 2009 8:02 pm

Any free time I got, I spent either sleeping or getting smashed the Finnish way with my army friends. I was a platoon medic actually, I don't know why I picked that now, but it was kind of cool. I will never forget the time when my Alikersantti doubled over laughing when I wrote down "KJaak Ripuli" in the infirmary book. :oops:

My Kokelas wanted me to go to AuK, but I decided not to, to think I would still be in the army if I did... I'm glad I didn't, since I got to see what the new alikersanti's lives were like in the last three, always screaming and stressed out, they would come into our room and lay on the bed and cry and moan about their lives like we were their personal therapists.
"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Tue May 26, 2009 8:25 pm

Sibelius wrote: I was a platoon medic actually.
:thumbsup: same as I... only I was double jeopardy I was a medic for the MP. Did you go do your special training to Hämeenlinna? Did they still have the surplus bangdages from 1935? Did the red cross badge on the lomapuku work as a "pillumagneetti"?
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."

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Sibelius
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Tue May 26, 2009 8:32 pm

My medic training took place in Lahti at Hameen Rykmentti. We did the whole stretcher march through a swamp that seems to be the baptism of a medic in the Finnish Army in my experience. And yes, the punainen risti merkki does work as an excellent pillumagneetti, we even had a marching song about it. I swear my Luutnanti was an insane clown who escaped from a mental asylum.

I think the nicest part though is that I have a feeling of inclusion in that "Finnishness inner circle" that virtually no foreigner is able to penetrate. Just got to learn the language now...
"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Tue May 26, 2009 8:37 pm

Sibelius wrote: We did the whole stretcher march through a swamp that seems to be the baptism of a medic in the Finnish Army in my experience..
We had the fattest bloke 120 kilos+ on the stretcher, and one of the squad was a 150 tall runt and I'm 190 and the other were your normal 180 height...

Did you do the paarisulkeiset according to the old handbook? Thats some coordination...
And yes, the punainen risti merkki does work as an excellent pillumagneetti, we even had a marching song about it.
:lol: :thumbsup:
I swear my Luutnanti was an insane clown who escaped from a mental asylum.
I swear, they sniff ether... :lol:
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."

Rosamunda
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Rosamunda » Tue May 26, 2009 9:30 pm

So glad you came back to give us a report... I promised my kids I would let them know what happened to you (there were a couple of others posting at the same time last Spring).

So, for a half-Finn who doesn't speak very good Finnish but is super fit and "motivated" where's the BEST and the WORST places to go to do this?

Any regrets? Things you wished you'd done differently.
Is there anything you could've done better to prepare for it?
Is there any "structured" language tuition for the ones who don't speak Finnish so well?
Are there any "fast track" routes that are worth getting into and a bit more interesting than the regular stuff?
Is Santahamina better than Tammisaari, or the same-ish?

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Sibelius
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Tue May 26, 2009 10:08 pm

Yeah, I met all the other guys who were posting here who served in my group.

Any regrets? Things you wished you'd done differently.
I sometimes wished I went with being a regular rifleman or machine-gunner, it got hard to do the last three months with no other English-speakers around, it was quite boring too. My advice would be to stick with the other forgeiner guys in what they do, and you'll have a good time.

Is there anything you could've done better to prepare for it?
Get in shape, run alot. You don't nessecarily have to lift weights, since you'll be getting buff by just wearing all the body-armor and other equipment daily.
Is there any "structured" language tuition for the ones who don't speak Finnish so well?
I heard if you go to Aliupseerikoulutus, they'll put you in language courses, but other than that, no, you're fully integrated in a Finnish-speaking platoon, if they need to tell you something important in English, they will, other than that, it's all in Finnish. I wouldn't recommend going to AuK if you can only speak English, since it's a disadvantage that will make them put you into something dumb like ammunition or cook officer. I had some problems during medic training due to this.
Are there any "fast track" routes that are worth getting into and a bit more interesting than the regular stuff?
Haha, nope! When you join the army, you're considered scum and nobody gives a damn of what you think. Actually, your son can apply to the brigade that trains peacekeepers, the training is done in English and they go to different countries to go camping. I would have applied there if I knew about it, but now that I did it, I think experiecing the regular army experience that every Finnish guy goes through is a much greater cultural experience and something you can share and bond with future Finnish friends if you wish to live in Finland in the future.

So, for a half-Finn who doesn't speak very good Finnish but is super fit and "motivated" where's the BEST and the WORST places to go to do this?
Is Santahamina better than Tammisaari, or the same-ish?


Believe me, his motivation will be crushed after the first few days. :twisted:

Well, if he's interseted in peacekeeping, that special brigade may be of interest. I don't think it makes it obligatory to go serve, I'll try to find it's website again. I think Santahamina is the best place because that's usaully where they dump all the foreign Finns, either in 1.JK or TukiK. Plus, all sorts of interesting things happen in Helsinki that may require the military, I got to go to a NBC disaster training excersize at a hospital. :)

Plus in your time off, there's so much more to do in Helsinki than in other places. Plus, he'll make friends with other foreign guys that he can relate too.

I have no idea what other bases are like, but if your son has an AIM or some type of email, and if he wanted, you can put me in contact with him and I can tell him everything he wants to know.
Last edited by Sibelius on Tue May 26, 2009 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Tue May 26, 2009 10:14 pm

Sibelius wrote:When you join the army, you considered scum and nobody gives a damn of what you think.
I think this dawns on the pansy-asses the first week... :lol:
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."

Rosamunda
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Rosamunda » Tue May 26, 2009 10:48 pm

...even the reservists! I remember my dh coming back to Paris after a few days in the forest paid for by the Finnish taxpayer and he was ready to take it all the way to the European Court of Justice :lol: Reckoned the chap in charge was an ether-drinking clown from a loony asylum, or something like that. Harder to play at being scum when you are in your 30s, in a "proper" job, paying a mortgage and driving a 4-door saloon with a dog and three kids on the back seat :twisted:

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Wed May 27, 2009 9:16 am

Well, it changed my political views as well. I realized how cool it felt that I was now apart of something. The feeling you get after completing your service really felt like something special, that you went through a common experience and now you feel like apart of something greater. It sounds kind of ridiculous, considering that my Finnish is poor at best, but it turned me into something of an aspiring nationalist of sorts. I used to be one of those lefty "world citizen" sobhearts, but the completion of those 9 months sort of unlocked a type of civic pride in being a Finn, that you have an identity and a place to fall back to no matter where you go.

I think military service, or some type of paramilitary/civic service is something every nation should enact for their youths to go through, it builds character, responsibility, caring, and a passion for one's community that otherwise may not develop into today's globalist, commercialized world.

So, for all you Finns living outside of Finland, be sure to send your kids to the army! :thumbsup:
"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Wed May 27, 2009 9:52 am

Sibelius wrote: I used to be one of those lefty "world citizen" sobhearts, but the completion of those 9 months sort of unlocked a type of civic pride in being a Finn, that you have an identity and a place to fall back to no matter where you go.
I guess you now understand the "attitude" of why Finland is how it is...
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."

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Sibelius
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Sibelius » Wed May 27, 2009 9:57 am

Pursuivant wrote:
Sibelius wrote: I used to be one of those lefty "world citizen" sobhearts, but the completion of those 9 months sort of unlocked a type of civic pride in being a Finn, that you have an identity and a place to fall back to no matter where you go.
I guess you now understand the "attitude" of why Finland is how it is...

Yeah, although I'm not a racist nor xenophobic, I can sympathize about why alot of Finns are. Outsiders don't understand how a Finn feels about his homeland, it's much different than the rest of the Western world. I actually got a little offended when I talked to my high school teacher about the issue, she said it's because Finns just "aren't used to immigrants, and need to learn." People just assume that any form of cultural exclusiveness is evil, black racism, hatred, and xenophobia. But, there's much more than that.
"Swedes we are no longer,
Russians we can never become,
so let us be Finns!"

Rosamunda
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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Rosamunda » Wed May 27, 2009 10:12 am

So what exactly was it in your military service that brought about the sea change?

Do they sit you in a classroom and brainwash you with videos of the Winter War...?
Or is it a spiritual thing from being At One with the forest in the depths of a Nordic winter?
Or is it mixing with Finns?

Just curious. And slightly sceptical. Surely some kids come out even more resolutely lefty than when they went in. Besides, surely you can be lefty and nationalistic.... not sure they are mutually exclusive :?

By the way, who got chucked out before the end? What was the reform rate?

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Re: My 9 months in the Finnish Army

Post by Pursuivant » Wed May 27, 2009 10:41 am

penelope wrote:Do they sit you in a classroom and brainwash you with videos of the Winter War...?
The medics brainwash videos session is so that in the morning they show a set of films so at lunch only half eat; after lunch they show a set of films half those who ate puke. Those who eat at dinner are closely monitored :lol:
penelope wrote:Or is it a spiritual thing from being At One with the forest in the depths of a Nordic winter?
Being wet in a foxhole seeing jack 3am in November made me crave for spiritual liquids, at least 80 proof...
penelope wrote:Or is it mixing with Finns?
I think its more of the "teamwork" aspect. A bit like in the movie "full metal jacket" theres always going to be a private joker and theres always going to be a private pyle. Now you cannot choose your 12 mates, and you have to face it that you need to work together. A squad needs to arrive *together*... the platoon medic's job is a bit more comprehensive as he gets on an intimate level with everybody at some point, be it bandaging feet on a march or then having blokes come to the clinic making sure theres nobody else around and asking some salve for a "funny itch... like... there..." and is as Sibelius said sometimes ends up as the psych councellor... at a camp as he's the guy with the fire going on and hot water so its a natural mother goose job.... and as its the army its your job in the team even if you're the biggest misanthrope like me :lol: water detail, bog detail, canteen check detail, city slickers whacking their leg with an axe... plus side is you can sleep on the stretcher or in the ambulance :mrgreen:
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."


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