Giving birth options

[Suvetar]

I'd like to know if it's possible to ask for conditions for the day of the delivery?

I'm not picky and I will let them do their job. I was just wondering if one of you had the right to have their eldest assist the birth? Is it possible? It is my greatest wish...She will give me strengh, I know it!!

I am at the moment living in Turku, but probably back in Helsinki for the due date. And I surely will (if I'm back there that is) give birth at NKL, like I did last year for my daughter.

Does anyone know?

Thanks!

[EP]

You can have whoever you want. Your husband, your mother, your friend, whoever. If you want your child I think that would very much depend on her age. Personally I would not put a twelve year old through it, 17 might be a different thing.

[Suvetar]

She will be 18 months when her brother is born...

[Rip]

She will be 18 months when her brother is born...

I think word "assist" is highly misleading here.

(ours at 18 months age - no way....)

[Gigi]

In our hospital they don't allow older siblings to join their parents at the birth, as well as they are not allowed to come with when they do an ultrasound. The main reason is that the equipment in those rooms are so expensive that little hands might break a lot of things. At least my 17 month old would destroy the room!

And personally I don't want that my 17 month old son sees his mom in that amount of pain. He might get traumatized. And I find it personally also very important that the life of my son continues as "normal" as possible, meaning that he sleeps, eats and plays as normal as possible.


BUT the world "eldest" and "assist" confuses me too. Are you really talking about your child or are you talking about midwife?

Because they suggest you to make a birthplan (at least in our hospital) and there you can always mention your wishes.

[EP]

18 months

A toddler in a delivery room? You cannot be serious.

[magenta22]

I don't think it would be wise to have a young child of 18 months in a delivery room.

For a start the midwife will want to focus on you and your new baby and really not want the distraction of a toddler running around, you could be in labour for hours and your daughter will get bored and irritable as well as not understanding why you are in so much discomfort and this will distress her.

Best to let a family member or friend look after her when you give birth and have your husband there for support, take a picture of her with you and when you bring the baby home let her be involved then

[Amandine.K]

In our hospital they don't allow older siblings to join their parents at the birth, as well as they are not allowed to come with when they do an ultrasound. The main reason is that the equipment in those rooms are so expensive that little hands might break a lot of things.

It's not much because of that but also because you can never predict how things go. The midwife might find something wrong on the ultrasound and that is difficult enough for the parents, let alone go and explain it to a small child.
Same for the delivery, you don't know how it will go, you might end up with a c-section and your toddler will not be allowed in the operating room. Or if you need the forceps, not something for children to see...

[Amandine.K]

Oh and I am 100% sure your 18 mths-old will not be allowed while you are in labour or even after delivery in the delivery suites. I delivered my son in NKL and we asked if our daughters (aged 5 at the time) could come to see their baby brother once he was born and all checked up and stuff. We were told that no child is allowed to enter that ward and that the siblings are more than welcomed in the family room afterwards.