Need advice....first child / big mess with ex

[Ambrosia]

Just now one of her friends sent me an email with the name ''father and son''.
In it is a picture my ex posted on her facebook earlier with my son sleeping on hew new bf's chest in the bed.

How messed up is that?

[rinso]

Just now one of her friends sent me an email with the name ''father and son''.
In it is a picture my ex posted on her facebook earlier with my son sleeping on hew new bf's chest in the bed.

So it is already happening.

It's like she's banking on the new love interest to replace me completely, that is the feeling I get.

If she is really serious about this guy, she might even ask him to recognize your son as his own. If that happens, you're completely out of the picture.

[Ambrosia]

Turned out it was the guy that sent me the email, I checked the originating IP and it came from her house.
And the English was so broken it was giving me a headache to read, this for someone that's 27 years old and supposedly going to school.

Not sure if he's messing with my head or what, they haven't together for 1 month yet.
But he claims they are getting married and that next week he's going to adopt my son.

And then there's this ''I feel sorry for you you hit h... meny meny times everybody in finland hates you mia and me too you are crazy and the mentally ill i hope you die very soon.''

Talk about drama for ya momma
Funny thing is I'm getting a tattoo of my son or whatever is left of him on my right arm on Tuesday.
And she doesn't speak to me at all...so pretty much sperm donor....lost cause.

[Rip]

You could go the child welfare office and announce you want to acknowledge your paternity. (chapter 3, section 15) http://www.finlex.fi/fi/laki/kaannokset ... 750700.pdf

I'm doubtful if you gain much anything else except child support bill with that though...

[Ambrosia]

It is what it is, a mess I wish upon noone.
If I acknowledge him (I recently re-checked something), I would have to pay 408 euro per every 3 months.
In return I would get back 188 from the government, which cuts into my small budget.

Hard lesson learned, use a rubber and choose your partner wisely.

[Rip]

You may get bill for past months, from birth or some later date - I do not know that law sufficiently. If they decide to go through with the adoption (if/when you're legally recognized father), your opinion would be asked, but it could in the end be ignored. Your financial responsibilities would naturally cease at that point.

[Ambrosia]

Yeah so might as well do nothing and let her learn a lesson the hard way.
At least to me thinking about marriage when they've only been together for about 3 weeks +- and wanting to adopt a child that isn't yours already.
Seems a bit too weird to me, I don't know what's the rush, or even thinking about having a child by him.

Good thing people differ, in my opinion nothing is thought through.
But for that guy to email me and flaunting my child and claiming to be ''father and son''.
Well that seriously pissed me off that I felt like crackin' his skull open...I'm calm now though.
As it wouldn't have done anyone any good, just a crappy way to end such a long relationship then do a 360 on your ex.
That's life I suppose, live and learn aye

[onkko]

360... There are 360 degrees in one Full Rotation (one complete circle around). 180 would be totally opposite way, 360 is continuing same way.

[Ambrosia]

Haha yeah that's what I meant to say

[Ambrosia]

Can someone just adopt a child just like that?
Within such a short time-frame or do they have to be married in order to complete the adoption ?

[Rip]

Adoption so that afterwards that both parts of a couple would be afterwards recognized as legal parents of child is possible only if the said couple is married with each other.
(as such marriage is relatively easy and fast to arrange)

[ajdias]

If what you've written here is reliable you should be very happy you're not the other dude.
What a tool.