Dear people,
I am a modest and average looking South Asian guy (34 yo). Last year, I met a girl (28 years old) through a family friend. She seemed kind, nice and friendly. After several months we got engaged and I came back to Finland. Recently, I have noticed that when I talk to her, it feels that she is very rude, selfish, insolent, and impatient. There is no sign of kindness and gratefulness in her voice. She gets angry easily. She told earlier that she wants to do higher study (MSc) in Finland but she is not learning English for IELTS. I feel that she only says "I love you" but her actions do not show any sign of it. Whatever she showed earlier, seems to be fake and full of hypocrisy. She denies things she told earlier.
Is she behaving like that because she might be suffering from a major depression or has she some mental issues which she hid from me nicely?
Or was she always like that (her behavior/attitude) but hid them from me?
I am confused and do not know what I should do in this situation. The situation is hampering my mental and physical health and job life as well. I am thinking of breaking the engagement as I feel betrayed.
It would be very kind of you if you would give me some good advice if you feel like rather than making fun of the fact.
I wish you all a nice week ahead.
What do you suggest?
Re: What do you suggest?
If you have the (un)conscious feeling that the relation is over, it probably is.hell_sinking wrote:Dear people,
I am a modest and average looking South Asian guy (34 yo). Last year, I met a girl (28 years old) through a family friend. She seemed kind, nice and friendly. After several months we got engaged and I came back to Finland. Recently, I have noticed that when I talk to her, it feels that she is very rude, selfish, insolent, and impatient. There is no sign of kindness and gratefulness in her voice. She gets angry easily. She told earlier that she wants to do higher study (MSc) in Finland but she is not learning English for IELTS. I feel that she only says "I love you" but her actions do not show any sign of it. Whatever she showed earlier, seems to be fake and full of hypocrisy. She denies things she told earlier.
Is she behaving like that because she might be suffering from a major depression or has she some mental issues which she hid from me nicely?
Or was she always like that (her behavior/attitude) but hid them from me?
I am confused and do not know what I should do in this situation. The situation is hampering my mental and physical health and job life as well. I am thinking of breaking the engagement as I feel betrayed.
It would be very kind of you if you would give me some good advice if you feel like rather than making fun of the fact.
I wish you all a nice week ahead.
There might be other reasons. In that case you need to give her time. Be relaxed, don't try extra hard to be romantic and see if she comes around. If you also behave more distantly you'll soon know where she stands.
Re: What do you suggest?
she might have other guy in her life already, and/or might have banged.
And there is no such thing as happy ending with a local lady. Just use the search.
As other poster hinted that if you got this "it is over feeling", then it is over. Mourn for the loss for a few days and get back in the game. There is plenty of fish in the pond.
And for the love of mankind, don't try to win her back anymore if you leave the building. It exists in stupid novels and romantic movies but real life is far different.
And there is no such thing as happy ending with a local lady. Just use the search.
As other poster hinted that if you got this "it is over feeling", then it is over. Mourn for the loss for a few days and get back in the game. There is plenty of fish in the pond.
And for the love of mankind, don't try to win her back anymore if you leave the building. It exists in stupid novels and romantic movies but real life is far different.
Re: What do you suggest?
What Rinso said. She doesn't respect you (or at least you don't feel respected by her), why would you want to be with someone like that?
(I know, it's not that as easily done as said...)
Run, just run.
(I know, it's not that as easily done as said...)
Run, just run.