Depression and Finnish language
Depression and Finnish language
Hello everyone.
I'm Cinead, born and raised in France, from an armenian mother and a scottish father, although I've never visited neither places. French and English are the two languages I know.
I've moved to Finland 3 years ago, following my girlfriend-now-soon-to-be-wife and I had a past love for the country, loving snow, forests and heavy metal. Finland is dreamy in every way, but... I can't take the language.
I started studying finnish intensively 8 months ago, I might be level A2 or something... And I'm kind of depressed about it. Yeah I know it's silly. But I just can't like this language. Yes it's excruciatingly hard, and that's a big part as to why I can't foresee it being my default everyday language, but even if it wasn't hard I don't know if I would want to learn anyway, it unless I was absolutely forced to do it.I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life, I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc...
The sad thing is, Swedish and Norwegian are lovely sounding to mr and I would love to learn. I'm just fascinated by north germanic languages (again, not really related to the difficulty of it)
But that's the problem. I don't want to leave Finland. I finally got my residence permit, I'm loving everything about this place but, I often talk and dream of leaving it, for maybe Norway or Sweden, but it's in and of itself a really lomg amd hard process. Not only that, though !y fiancee being amazing and supportive keeps telling mr she would follow me anywhere, I can tell she wants to be close to her family and speak her mother tongue that is dear to her. I can't break her family likr that...I also feel bad of not being able to learn her mother tongue...
We talked every once in a while of moving to Scotland, it would be easy, we both speak English... and it's where my roots are, though I have no family left there and with the whole Brexit thing I can't even imagine how complex and dreadful the whole process is... And there's still the problem of taking her away from her family. AND it was for a bery long time my dream of living in a Nordic country.
So yeah sorry guys, first world problem, I know thousands of people are suffering everyday and I'm here moaning about how a hard language to learn makes me depressed... But I'm wondering if anyone has been or is in a similar predicament...
Cheers.
I'm Cinead, born and raised in France, from an armenian mother and a scottish father, although I've never visited neither places. French and English are the two languages I know.
I've moved to Finland 3 years ago, following my girlfriend-now-soon-to-be-wife and I had a past love for the country, loving snow, forests and heavy metal. Finland is dreamy in every way, but... I can't take the language.
I started studying finnish intensively 8 months ago, I might be level A2 or something... And I'm kind of depressed about it. Yeah I know it's silly. But I just can't like this language. Yes it's excruciatingly hard, and that's a big part as to why I can't foresee it being my default everyday language, but even if it wasn't hard I don't know if I would want to learn anyway, it unless I was absolutely forced to do it.I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life, I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc...
The sad thing is, Swedish and Norwegian are lovely sounding to mr and I would love to learn. I'm just fascinated by north germanic languages (again, not really related to the difficulty of it)
But that's the problem. I don't want to leave Finland. I finally got my residence permit, I'm loving everything about this place but, I often talk and dream of leaving it, for maybe Norway or Sweden, but it's in and of itself a really lomg amd hard process. Not only that, though !y fiancee being amazing and supportive keeps telling mr she would follow me anywhere, I can tell she wants to be close to her family and speak her mother tongue that is dear to her. I can't break her family likr that...I also feel bad of not being able to learn her mother tongue...
We talked every once in a while of moving to Scotland, it would be easy, we both speak English... and it's where my roots are, though I have no family left there and with the whole Brexit thing I can't even imagine how complex and dreadful the whole process is... And there's still the problem of taking her away from her family. AND it was for a bery long time my dream of living in a Nordic country.
So yeah sorry guys, first world problem, I know thousands of people are suffering everyday and I'm here moaning about how a hard language to learn makes me depressed... But I'm wondering if anyone has been or is in a similar predicament...
Cheers.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
Yes, Finnish is very hard. All foreigners struggle.Cinead wrote: ↑Wed Feb 27, 2019 10:17 pmHello everyone.
I'm Cinead, born and raised in France, from an armenian mother and a scottish father, although I've never visited neither places. French and English are the two languages I know.
I've moved to Finland 3 years ago, following my girlfriend-now-soon-to-be-wife and I had a past love for the country, loving snow, forests and heavy metal. Finland is dreamy in every way, but... I can't take the language.
I started studying finnish intensively 8 months ago, I might be level A2 or something... And I'm kind of depressed about it. Yeah I know it's silly. But I just can't like this language. Yes it's excruciatingly hard, and that's a big part as to why I can't foresee it being my default everyday language, but even if it wasn't hard I don't know if I would want to learn anyway, it unless I was absolutely forced to do it.I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life, I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc...
The sad thing is, Swedish and Norwegian are lovely sounding to mr and I would love to learn. I'm just fascinated by north germanic languages (again, not really related to the difficulty of it)
But that's the problem. I don't want to leave Finland. I finally got my residence permit, I'm loving everything about this place but, I often talk and dream of leaving it, for maybe Norway or Sweden, but it's in and of itself a really lomg amd hard process. Not only that, though !y fiancee being amazing and supportive keeps telling mr she would follow me anywhere, I can tell she wants to be close to her family and speak her mother tongue that is dear to her. I can't break her family likr that...I also feel bad of not being able to learn her mother tongue...
We talked every once in a while of moving to Scotland, it would be easy, we both speak English... and it's where my roots are, though I have no family left there and with the whole Brexit thing I can't even imagine how complex and dreadful the whole process is... And there's still the problem of taking her away from her family. AND it was for a bery long time my dream of living in a Nordic country.
So yeah sorry guys, first world problem, I know thousands of people are suffering everyday and I'm here moaning about how a hard language to learn makes me depressed... But I'm wondering if anyone has been or is in a similar predicament...
Cheers.
Nevertheless - there is no way around it. You wanna spend your life in Finland, you have to learn it sooner or later. Find a learning method that helps you. Courses, apps, personal training, language cafés, books, whatever. Use whatever motivates you and helps you learn. Learn to be happy with the little steps you make. There is no other way. You are not alone.
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Re: Depression and Finnish language
Move to a Swedish speaking area of Finland?
Re: Depression and Finnish language
I am an Australian learning Finnish for 5 months, however I am passionate about the language and love learning it.
Here's some ideas from a foreigner:
As one of the official languages of Finland is Swedish, and you are fascinated to learn it – could you focus on learning Swedish over the next years and become fluent in Swedish?
Then you and your partner could move to live in one of the predominantly Swedish speaking towns in Finland? I've read articles written by Finns on how it is now possible to live in some regions in Finland speaking only Swedish your whole life. Such as living in Hammarland, Finström, Föglö, or Geta. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_m ... l_language
Then you and your partner can stay living in Finland and speak English to each other at home, you can speak Swedish where you live and work, and your partner can speak Finnish and Swedish, and any kids you have will grow up tri-lingual. I have heard of some Finnish families who do this.
Good luck.
Here's some ideas from a foreigner:
As one of the official languages of Finland is Swedish, and you are fascinated to learn it – could you focus on learning Swedish over the next years and become fluent in Swedish?
Then you and your partner could move to live in one of the predominantly Swedish speaking towns in Finland? I've read articles written by Finns on how it is now possible to live in some regions in Finland speaking only Swedish your whole life. Such as living in Hammarland, Finström, Föglö, or Geta. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_m ... l_language
Then you and your partner can stay living in Finland and speak English to each other at home, you can speak Swedish where you live and work, and your partner can speak Finnish and Swedish, and any kids you have will grow up tri-lingual. I have heard of some Finnish families who do this.
Good luck.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
These are all located on the Åland Islands, far away from mainland Finland. Limited job possibilities, and the culture is not Finnish at all but more Swedish.
Yes, you can choose to live in one of the Swedish speaking areas on the mainland, BUT - you limit yourself a lot when it comes to job possibilities, and also your partner's job options.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
You use the word dreamy a few times in you original posting which makes me think that you are a first-world dreamer and being from the "third world", normally, I would have told you to "suck it up buttercup". Dreams are good but if you do not put in the hard work, they will just remain dreams and you will move from one dream to another feeling discontent and wondering why your dreams never become a reality. I do not know how else to put it except that sometimes, things are difficult and you just have to push through the difficulty.
BUT, I do appreciate the fact that you have been very open with your feelings about this matter and that you understand that this is a first world problem. So I will be encouraging . Finnish is very difficult for almost everyone (unless you speak Estonian or Karelian for example) and you just have to keep sticking with it before it becomes easy. Realistically it will take many years before you will feel comfortable using Finnish. Taking courses alone is not enough nor is it enjoyable in the long run. I myself am farily fluent now. I moved here over 8 years ago, but I am still learning new things about this language all the time. I took altogether 4 months or so of courses after that, I started wacthing movies in Finnish with English subtitles as well as English movies with Finnish subtitles, but what really ramped up the learning was working in Finnish only settings. It certainly is possible to live here without learning Finnish. But yes, this will limit your life greatly.
If you know Finnish upto B2/C1 level, then things will start getting a lot easier and many of the feelings of frustration that you talk about may disappear. To my ears, some of the things you have mentioned are not what I would consider sensible reasons for you to put your partner through the upheavel of leaving her family behind ("I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life", "I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc..."). For example, many immigrants parents do not speak Finnish to their kids so what you state makes no logical sense to me. But again, this may be more related to feelings rather than logic and feelings can be valid.
Be aware that if you move her away from her home country, she willl most likely experience some of what you are feeling and she might eventually end up resenting you for it. At the end of the day, you have to think long and hard and figure out whether this frustration you feel is due to how you feel about the language or whether it is something more than that and decide with your partner on what the best course of action would be for you.
BUT, I do appreciate the fact that you have been very open with your feelings about this matter and that you understand that this is a first world problem. So I will be encouraging . Finnish is very difficult for almost everyone (unless you speak Estonian or Karelian for example) and you just have to keep sticking with it before it becomes easy. Realistically it will take many years before you will feel comfortable using Finnish. Taking courses alone is not enough nor is it enjoyable in the long run. I myself am farily fluent now. I moved here over 8 years ago, but I am still learning new things about this language all the time. I took altogether 4 months or so of courses after that, I started wacthing movies in Finnish with English subtitles as well as English movies with Finnish subtitles, but what really ramped up the learning was working in Finnish only settings. It certainly is possible to live here without learning Finnish. But yes, this will limit your life greatly.
If you know Finnish upto B2/C1 level, then things will start getting a lot easier and many of the feelings of frustration that you talk about may disappear. To my ears, some of the things you have mentioned are not what I would consider sensible reasons for you to put your partner through the upheavel of leaving her family behind ("I can't see myself speaking this for the rest of my life", "I can't see myself speaking it raising my child etc..."). For example, many immigrants parents do not speak Finnish to their kids so what you state makes no logical sense to me. But again, this may be more related to feelings rather than logic and feelings can be valid.
Be aware that if you move her away from her home country, she willl most likely experience some of what you are feeling and she might eventually end up resenting you for it. At the end of the day, you have to think long and hard and figure out whether this frustration you feel is due to how you feel about the language or whether it is something more than that and decide with your partner on what the best course of action would be for you.
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Re: Depression and Finnish language
Yeah, I've been here a year, and I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll never be fluent in Finnish, and I really don't care anymore. My wife speaks perfect English (she spent nine years in England as that's where her father's job took her family) and I don't like most humans in general, therefore, very little interaction. But, on the off chance that I do care enough to make a friend outside of my wife and her family, pretty much every human around my age I've met here speaks passable-to-fluent English. So, if I never learn Finnish, BFD
Plus, I secretly kind of like pissing off these old-timers who hate immigrants who don't speak their language in THEIR country, as if their birth entitled them to ownership of the land somehow. Same old BS you get in the US with these "our language is English!" rednecks
Plus, I secretly kind of like pissing off these old-timers who hate immigrants who don't speak their language in THEIR country, as if their birth entitled them to ownership of the land somehow. Same old BS you get in the US with these "our language is English!" rednecks
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Re: Depression and Finnish language
Says who, you? If you want to be a citizen, sure. If you're content with being a permanent resident, then who really cares, aside from nationalists and jerks?
Unless you need to find a job/ study here, then it's a bit different.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
Undertakerfreak? And you say you you don't like most humans in general eh?undertakerfreak wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:51 pmSays who, you? If you want to be a citizen, sure. If you're content with being a permanent resident, then who really cares, aside from nationalists and jerks?
Unless you need to find a job/ study here, then it's a bit different.
Life in Finland will be a lot easier if you speak Finnish, just as life in France will be a lot easier if you speak French etc...
Your life your choice.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
Wouldn't citizenship grant more benefits, such as voting and the right to live anywhere within EU? If you pass age 30 there wouldn't be conscription but I heard it's fun.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
Yes, it grants many, many more rights. e.g. even a permanant resident moving abroad for a while will have to reapply for a basic residency permit again, whereas a citizen can come and go as they please. Also, if you are a Finnish citizen, and you do something dumb and end up vankilassa ulkomaailla, the Finnish govt./EU will do their best to get your ass out.
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Re: Depression and Finnish language
I'm not even eligible for citizenship for another few years, so I have plenty of time to worry about whether or not I want to try to learn this language that I'm 90 percent certain I'll never be fluent in.
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Re: Depression and Finnish language
My kids are going to be fluent in Finnish. I don't want them to have their secret language.
That's my major motivation.
That's my major motivation.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
That's a great attitudeundertakerfreak wrote: ↑Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:16 amI'm not even eligible for citizenship for another few years, so I have plenty of time to worry about whether or not I want to try to learn this language that I'm 90 percent certain I'll never be fluent in.
Re: Depression and Finnish language
I agree, that's my motivation as well. Besides, I have friends with kids or grandparent that don't speak english, so it would be nice to be able to talk to them as well.NeverTooNorth wrote: ↑Tue Mar 12, 2019 8:51 amMy kids are going to be fluent in Finnish. I don't want them to have their secret language.
That's my major motivation.