Expat support groups in Helsinki?

How to? Read other's experiences. Find useful advice on shipping, immigration, residence permits, visas and more.
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superiorinferior
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Location: Helsinki

Post by superiorinferior » Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:49 pm

PeterF wrote: Tadmole's mum..you sound like a loving mummy/wife....but read this thread.
How the &%¤! did you dare write that?? "You sound like a loving mummy/wife... BUT" ??? That's more inflammatory than any racist blather thats been circulatin' round these parts lately.

Them's fightin words.

Where, precisely do you get your ideas from? That women expats are less committed to permanently leaving their home countries than men?

Do you want to start a war here or something? :shock: :o



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PeterF
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Post by PeterF » Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:04 pm

Read the complete post..and note I said.

"Sweeping generalisation coming:

I seem to see that Females who follow a Finnish male here, especialy from the USA, do not believe/hope that they will be here for very long"

I seem to see= after over ten years living here and observing..

Only you can start a war over what a child call it mother!

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superiorinferior
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Location: Helsinki

Post by superiorinferior » Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:12 pm

PeterF wrote: Only you can start a war over what a child call it mother!
Huh?

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karen
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Location: Espoo

Post by karen » Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:15 pm

It wasn't my intention to start an argument. From my perspective of having a lot of female American mommy friends who are raising little Finns, I can say that none of them is called äiti. With a name like Peter, I am just guessing that you aren't going to be called "mommy" in this lifetime without some major surgery and a few miracles. Since you aren't a mommy, your children will not speak your native language as their mother tongue unless it is their mother's language. I know quite a few Finnish/American kids who call their Finnish fathers isi, isä, pappa, whatever appropriate names. I've also heard some of them using an English word like daddy. What I have never heard is a child of an American mother call that mother äiti. Maybe my group of female American mommy friends isn't as large as yours, but the above has been my observation.

I also know many female Americans who have no intention of returning to the U.S. to live. There are so many things about the U.S. that make me absolutely certain that I never want to live there again. Maybe if I didn't have a child, I would consider it. But he's my first priority now and Finland is the best place for him. Education is better here. The quality of life is better here. He has much less chance of being shot while eating lunch at school. He can play outside with his friends. We can enjoy long walks on paths that were designed for pedestrians and not have to worry about dodging cars.

On the flip side, I know lots of female Americans who planned to only be in Finland for a few years. That's between them and their SOs. I can't honestly say that I had a plan when I came to Finland. Now that I've been here for 8 years and I have a son, I don't plan to leave. I would like for my son to live in the U.S. for college or grad school if he wants. If he lives there for 5 years then his kids will also have benefit of dual citizenship. I do hope that the U.S. can return to the former status of being a great place to live and that U.S. citizenship is something he will want to offer to his children.

PeterF
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Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 10:00 pm

Post by PeterF » Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:35 pm

Going back to my first post..
I said...
********************
"Jennifer....do you intend to make Finland your permanent home?
Will USA just be a place where you used to live and will visit for holidays?
If the answer is probably or yes..
Read on..

IF you are not sure or the answer is No way..Ignore this post. "
************************
I addressed this post to Jennifer..
Tadpole's mom...answered...Jennifer has not done so..

Tadpole's mom has also made it clear..that by reading on..and from what she has said...she is probably here for life.

What her kids call her is irrelevant. (But being a Tadpoles Mum..I hope it is not Froggy :wink: )

By the way my kid have their own kids..all are in UK.
No language issues.

otyikondo
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Post by otyikondo » Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:34 pm

Mine call me by my first name, but then that's because I'm hip and an ageing baby-boomer and well, "Daddy" kind of sucks as a name, and we found it was pretty bloody useless, too, in shops if we got separated from the kids. Much better that they yell out your name in a loud voice (or, as mine did on at least one awful occasion, the little bastards, they go trotting off to the information desk and put out a paging request over the Stockmann tannoy system).

:oops:

Oh, and they are bilingual, except that now they aren't, really, because being bilingual makes it so much easier to add a third and a fourth and a fifth.

But the key issue is: they are Finnish. If you live here and raise them here, deep down, that's what they will ALWAYS become, no matter how much nurture there is at home. The outside environment is so much stronger. That said, they are not "ur-Finnish": they CAN see the wood for the trees.

It's a wonderful thing, just as long as a child has SOMEWHERE to call "home".

jenlynnf
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Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:29 am
Location: Espoo

Moving

Post by jenlynnf » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:13 pm

Thanks for all the advice. I do intend to make Finland home for a long time. I also plan on raising my children to speak both English and Finnish fluently and they can call me whatever they want, as long as it's not derogatory. I still intend to make Finnish and Ex-Pat friends along the way, hence why I am interested in the groups. I also think these groups are a great way to get advice from many great people who have been in my situation before and can help me out!


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