what is you biggest culture shock? positive and negative

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:35 pm

aguinness wrote: my question is why do foreigners here so often get commented on having good manners and being polite by Finns? I think that says a lot.

Well basically that's just politeness you know

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vincebel · Post by **vincebel** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:49 pm

wow i started this topic talking about culture and now it turned into politeness.
I nevers said that eating manners for example are rude or bad. they are just shocking for a foreigner. But i respect that even if i know that if they were my kids i would have raised them differently.

For example in Africa people eat with hands on a big plate in the middle of the table then wash their hands in a bucket and go on eating.

Do you find that shocking?rude?innaceptable?

I would say in Belgium i would find this unnacceptable. But in Africa I might find this a bit shocking then be used to it cos its part of their culture.

Same example with chinese people eating dogs.

As i said Finnish people are not rude but I must say that they dont match the average culture and behaviour manners of the rest of Europe (in my opinion). BUT they are honest, friendly (once you know them), reliable and enjoy life (in their own way)

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:05 pm

sammy wrote:
Susan wrote:BTW, what do the Finns have to say about all this? What's their point of view? Has anybody bothered to wonder about that? I do.

-Susan
I don't know, it doesn't bother me really - it's not actually news to me either that some of my fellow countrymen and women have rude manners - and I lose no sleep if some ignorant American thinks that Finns are uncivilised.

The kind of generalisations we're talking about are only worrying in the sense that it's very easy -and actually also very human- to start believing in them. And this works both ways, not only concerning the negative things. I would never ever say that "all Finns are honest". Of course they aren't. What sort of wonderland is this supposed to be?

On the other hand, if I took that sort of things personally, I might sort of find it sad to read opinions to the effect that "Finnish people have not been properly taught how to behave"... (oh really? Thanks a bundle, mum and dad. And thanks for educating me in this respect, ye decent, genuinely cultural people - ahem - please, kiitos, schönke dan )

Btw did my American comment raise any eyebrows? Gotcha - it does not at all reflect my true opinions, I merely wrote it to illustrate that most Americans here probably felt "Hey, what b*!"#¤% is this guy spewing out" on reading that sentence... it is strange how all other generalisations EXCEPT those that concern your own frame of reference are somehow 'more acceptable' and 'justified'. I'm no stranger to this either, I do admit that I have certain stereotypical 'ideas' - not necessarily bad or good ones, just stereotypical - about other nationalities/cultures, the trick is to recognise them as such and give them the value they deserve... and not overtly use them to make presuppositions about actual people you meet.

BRAVO SAMMY!

-Susan

Karhunkoski · Post by **Karhunkoski** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:28 pm

mCowboy wrote: I think the number of immigrant men outnumbers immigrant women quite significantly (based on my empirical evidence),

Ah, all is now clear, we possibly have some "evidence" on this whole argument about whether Finns have manners or not!

And for the record, I really don't give two hoots whether manners are present in this country or not. I am in one of my Romes, so I do my best to fit in.

Anyway, back to the point, triggered by cowboy's statement:

Yes it is true that many Finnish women take a foreign man (I've met upwards of 20). One comment that rings in my ears is one criticising Finnish men for not having manners. Now I've never met a girl from another country who had a foreign man, who suggested that her native countries' menfolk lacked manners, but have heard this in Finland mopre than once. But it could just be a coincidence. Where are all the Finnish women who could comment on this? Probably hard at work whilst their imported stallions spend all day drinking cider and fiddling on Finland Forum?

vincebel · Post by **vincebel** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:51 pm

Probably hard at work whilst their imported stallions spend all day drinking cider and fiddling on Finland Forum?

lol. Or maybe trying to find a job or learning finnish.

mCowboy · Post by **mCowboy** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:04 pm

vincebel wrote:
Probably hard at work whilst their imported stallions spend all day drinking cider and fiddling on Finland Forum?
lol. Or maybe trying to find a job or learning finnish.

hanging out with schrecher and debonaire drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, talking loudly in some foreign language making the surrounding Finns uncomfortable and waiting for that dream job to fall in their laps as promised in FF.

AJX · Post by **AJX** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:51 pm

Karhunkoski wrote:Fair comments there blaugrau, especially about the lack of a family-mealtime being a dying institution in many countries...

olofsson · Post by **olofsson** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:21 pm

Maybe we can conclude that manners in Finland have been somewhat of a cultural shock for quite a few immigrants?
...and maybe more so for them with limited prior experience of different cultures?

mCowboy · Post by **mCowboy** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:50 pm

this may sound a bit too convenient, but I just got back from doing my groceries. On my way back, there was a middle-aged woman with one of those luggage trolleys trying to open one of those heavy doors which we have here in downtown.

A young man stopped and asked if she needed help and held the door open for her, while she got in.

the shocking part was that THEY WERE BOTH FINNISH!!!

muddymuddy1 · Post by **muddymuddy1** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:16 pm

Maddening Finnish Manners:

1. The inability to control self-closing doors when passing through them and preventing them from slamming in the face of the person behind.

2. The inability to form a queue based on the individuals' sequence of arrival. Very good at collecting tickets to ascertain turns, therefore buying ham not a problem

These general deficiencies have nothing to do with local custom or the vaguaries of human behaviour around the world. They are simple expressions of courtesy and awareness of, and consideration for, ones fellow human.

muddymuddy1 · Post by **muddymuddy1** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:20 pm

Whoops!

Just seen the immediately previous example of door/luggage etiquette

Now THAT I would have liked to have seen! Most encouraging. Encore!!!

enk · Post by **enk** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:19 pm

mCowboy wrote:A young man stopped and asked if she needed help and held the door open for her, while she got in.

Man, you don't have to post about yourself holding a door open
for someone

-enk

mCowboy · Post by **mCowboy** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:26 pm

enk wrote:
mCowboy wrote:A young man stopped and asked if she needed help and held the door open for her, while she got in.
Man, you don't have to post about yourself holding a door open
for someone

-enk

you need to read it again... it was a young man...

anywho, people are usually surprised if I help out, since I look a bit intimidating to some...

enk · Post by **enk** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:30 pm

mCowboy wrote:you need to read it again... it was a young man...

anywho, people are usually surprised if I help out, since I look a bit intimidating to some...

Eh, to me you're young

-enk

mCowboy · Post by **mCowboy** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:36 pm

enk wrote:
mCowboy wrote:you need to read it again... it was a young man...

anywho, people are usually surprised if I help out, since I look a bit intimidating to some...
Eh, to me you're young

-enk

I'm older than you, remember...

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what is you biggest culture shock? positive and negative

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