I need advice urgent about my situation please

Pavlor · Post by **Pavlor** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:17 pm

easily-lost wrote:Everyone has the right to be a parent, but whether they are qualified or not is another story.

So, in order to protect our selfish "rights", we don't have to care about those children-to-be-born's future?

Like I said, mental PROBLEMS are not the same case as mental ILLNESSES, it will pass on to their kids through genes and not curable so far.

If you want to create a new life, you should be aware that you will be responsible for it. It's a responsibility forever. Anyhow, what I said doesn't help with the original poster as it's too late obviously, that's why I suggest he should think of a way to solve the problems as soon as possible, especially with the baby!

**Sponsor:**

Amandine.K · Post by **Amandine.K** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:19 pm

easily-lost wrote:Btw, if your wife does have mental illness (other than small metal problems), maybe it's a good thing for not having this child. It may sound cruel, but you don't want to see your child suffering the same thing for their whole life like your wife has, do you?

Before posting such crap please check out the facts. Mental diseases aren't all genetic you know! Depression isn't, personality-disorders aren't either! And even so would you then say to a mother who lost her sister or her mother from cancer not to have a child? Just because it might be passed on to the child? It's exactly the same! Why do people still have to alienate mentally ill people?

Pavlor · Post by **Pavlor** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:23 pm

Amandine.K wrote:
easily-lost wrote:Btw, if your wife does have mental illness (other than small metal problems), maybe it's a good thing for not having this child. It may sound cruel, but you don't want to see your child suffering the same thing for their whole life like your wife has, do you?

Before posting such crap please check out the facts. Mental diseases aren't all genetic you know! Depression isn't, personality-disorders aren't either! And even so would you then say to a mother who lost her sister or her mother from cancer not to have a child? Just because it might be passed on to the child? It's exactly the same! Why do people still have to alienate mentally ill people?

Hence my

response. Easily-lost... tut, tut.

Goldie · Post by **Goldie** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:22 pm

Amandine.K wrote:
easily-lost wrote:Btw, if your wife does have mental illness (other than small metal problems), maybe it's a good thing for not having this child. It may sound cruel, but you don't want to see your child suffering the same thing for their whole life like your wife has, do you?

Before posting such crap please check out the facts. Mental diseases aren't all genetic you know! Depression isn't, personality-disorders aren't either! And even so would you then say to a mother who lost her sister or her mother from cancer not to have a child? Just because it might be passed on to the child? It's exactly the same! Why do people still have to alienate mentally ill people?

Depression and bipolar disorders are genetic.

In addition, a woman with an ongoing history of mental illness should not have children!

EP · Post by EP » Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:26 pm

She has paniikkihäiriö. It is NOT mental illness.

Goldie · Post by **Goldie** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:36 pm

EP wrote:She has paniikkihäiriö. It is NOT mental illness.

I was not referring to the posters wife, as I don’t think she is mentally ill (just very emotional, which comes with being pregnant)! I was referring to the fact that women in general who have battled depression or bipolar disorders throughout their lives are not good candidates for child rearing.

easily-lost · Post by **easily-lost** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:58 am

I didn't say ALL of them will inherit the diseases, but the chances are much higher than others. Would you like to risk your own children?!

As to say whether these are genetic or not, I believe FACTS sound loudest unless you try to cover your eyes.

EP · Post by EP » Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:34 pm

Would you like to risk your own children?!

I think I would. If i had had for example depression at some stage, and then later I would have wanted 4 children, I would have made those even with the risk that one of them will at some point need depression medication and therapy.

Pavlor · Post by **Pavlor** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:01 pm

EP wrote:
Would you like to risk your own children?!
I think I would. If i had had for example depression at some stage, and then later I would have wanted 4 children, I would have made those even with the risk that one of them will at some point need depression medication and therapy.

Because that is the nature of life. We can never be perfect and depression for many people is a part of their life. I have some friends who are prone to depression and they wouldn't be without it.

People with hereditary diseases sometimes shape the world.

Zakaria · Post by **Zakaria** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:59 am

HI

I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM MY WIFE ,CUZ LATELY DOESNT SLEEP AT HOME , SHE SAYS TO ME THAT THE POLICE CONTACTED HER AND ASK HER IF SHE STILL PREGNANT WHICH SHE SAYS YES , AND THEY TOLD HER TO COME ALONG WITH HER HUSBAND AND I HAVE TO BRING MY PASSEPORT.SHE SAYS IF THEY REFUSE MY PERMIT THEN IT WILL BE DEPORTATION AND DEPORTATION TAKES ONLY 2 DAYS TO SEND ME BACK TO MY HOME COUNTRY....I AM SO SCARED NOW ....DO I STILL GO WITH HER TO THE POLICE?OR NOT? .....IS TRUE THAT DEPORTATION TAKES ONLY 2 DAYS TO SORT MY SELF OUT TO SENDME BACK HOME? EVEN MY WIFE PREGNANT AND I AM THE FATHER OF THE BABE?ARE THEY NORMAL PRACTICES?....I BE GOING THIS FRIDAY ...I KNOW INFACT SHE DOES SLEEP AT HOME FOR THE LAST 4 WEEKS ...I DUNNO HER PLANS ,...I DUNNO WAT SHE SAID TO THE POLICE ....IN THAT 4 WEEKS ....I HAVE NO IDEA ...WHY SHE MENTION TO ME DEPORTATION .....IS THE POLICE IN FINLAND DEPORT FOREIGNERS JUST CUZ THEIR FINNISH PARTNER SAY DEPORT THEM WITH OUT HEARING THE STORY ETC....
IS 2 DAYS ENOUGH TO MAKE DECISION FOR DEPORTATION ?????????
VERY STRANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sara · Post by **Sara** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:18 pm

Its a small thing but please dont type in capitals it makes it harder to read.

Of course you must go on Friday. They might think you are hiding or trying to run away. Plus this is the only way you will really know what happens at the meeting as your wife could tell you anything.

I dont know how long it takes to deport someone, perhaps you could contact those groups who have given you help and ask them.

At least on Friday you will know your situation, its better than wondering all the time what is going to happen. Its possible you may be able to appeal if they decide you cant stay in Finland.

You wont like this but I dont think your wife wants you to stop and I think she will tell them so. I dont think she wants to be with you anymore, which is why she is stopping away from home.

EP · Post by EP » Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:35 pm

Of course you have to go on Friday. But I think it would be best if you can take somebody who understands Finnish with you. I bet your wife will speak Finnish to the police, and it would be only fair if you understand what she is really saying to them.

easily-lost · Post by **easily-lost** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:54 pm

"Crazy Women" bb/viewtopic.php?t=23119 makes things a lot easier to understand in Finland if you have the time to go through it all. Should have read that thread before I went there though!

Anyway, best luck to you on Friday! But isn't it good to leave where you have been suffering so much and back to your home country?!

Goldie · Post by **Goldie** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:28 pm

I think your wife is playing mind games with you.

You already had an interview with the police, so I do not understand why they would want to see you again, unless it’s to place your residency permit in your passport.

Call your wife back and ask her for the name and phone number of the person at the Police station who setup the meeting.

Ema · Post by **Ema** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:38 pm

As I read through the whole thread, I felt that there are somthing missing. So she married you, brought you to finland, supported financially anyway so far (even she doesn't really live in the house as you said), and all those were just for using you to get pregant or get a personnel slave.

For just getting pregnant, I doubt. I mean, let's face it, we are in Finland, a girl can get pregnant at any drunk night if she wants, especially the bars are open almost 7 days a week.

For personnel slave, why does she keep the baby? if she is as inresponsible as you described, doing a abortion is not a big deal. give up the baby and send you home, she will have nothing to do with you even in the future. Instead she kept the baby and go through all these just to play you, for what?

If she is medical illed, don't she has any medical record after she divorce twice. with only that information which will be easily find out by the police, you should have full custody, then you will have right to enter Finland or keep in touch with your future borned baby anyhow and that should be guaranteed by the police or finnish government as this is basic human rights, isn't it?

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I need advice urgent about my situation please

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