BADLY NEED TO SAY ALL THIS TO MY FINNISH LOVER, HELP!!

[efx]

It is very hard to make a Finnish man to understand why he would need to say "I love you" as he said it already last year and he has not said "I do not love you any more" so what is the problem...

[Hank W.]

10. Ole kiltti, niin hyvin kuin sä kokkaatkin, tee silliä. (This one I won't vouch for. The sentence is quite.. weird. )

More logical: Ole kiltti, niin hyvin kuin sä kokkaatkin, älä tee silliä.

I'd rather use that in a negation, "niin hyvin kuin sä kokkaatkin" is giving "even so well".... "despite how well you cook"

So it sounds "please, despite how well you cook, (don't) do herring"

Maybe we need to translate the cookbook next?

PS. kun sä kokkaatkin niin hyvin is the positive

[Hank W.]

Actually, in Vietnam, they DO COOK herring. And not only in Vietnam, but also in Denmark, Finland, Sweden...
Moreover, the verb "to cook" doesn`t only mean a special way of preparing a particular dish by putting it into water and let it boiling up, it also has the meaning "to prepare" .

See now, my dear, you were the one asking a Finnish translation, I was not asking for a English lesson.

As you are pretty keen with the dictionary, or you will translate them from English directly, which undoubtedly will ensue in great hilarity. Now if you go outside and observe, for example a Finn is burning a cigarrette while most everyone else is smoking it. Undoubtedly you will observe Finns sometimes do the vice versa using an "all wrong" verb or term in English if they do not know the correct "switch pair". Understandable, maybe but hilarious. Hence, a Finn will not cook food, unless boiling it, he will make food and cook soup. So, you do not cook herring. And in Finland we do not care what culinary perversions the Vietnamese or Danes go through with their fish.

[Hank W.]

Don't presume that you'll be able to pronounce (or even remember) them correctly though.

Oh, come on now, ten phrases of some use, atleast there will be joyous laughter in the house...

...until she dumps him and breaks his heart...

[sammy]

I'll put them in the slang form for you because the literal forms would probably sound a bit prissy

Nah. Prissy or not, here's an alternative set of sentences. These will surely make a lasting impression!

1. Te olette kenties kaikkein merkityksellisin vastakkaista sukupuolta oleva nainen/mies minun elämässäni.
2. Luottamukseni/uskoni kohdistuu Teidän tahollenne / Kyseisen sattumuksen todentuminen olisi sangen toivottavaa / Vai niin, no nyt luulen käsittäväni asian laidan
3. Selviytymiskykymme ulottuu mitä haastavimpien/mitä kammoittavampien tilanteidenkin tuolle puolen
4. Tarkoitusperäni ovat sangen vakaat ja rehelliset / Herra paratkoon, minä en suinkaan laskettele luikuria
5. Anon nöyrimmäisesti anteeksiantoanne
6. Valintatilanteen edessä olisin todennäköisesti taipuvaisempi kohtaamaan harmitusta ja kohtalon kismittäviä takaiskuja Teidän rinnallanne kuin miellyttäviä tuokioita jonkun toisen henkilön keralla / Yhdessä koetut hankaluudet asettuvat arvoarvostelmissani himpun verran korkeammalle kuin toisistamme erillään vietämämme vaivattomat ja levolliset hetket
7. Rohkenen esittää, että suunvuoro erimielisyyksiemme puintiin suotaisiin nyt minulle
8. Ah, Teidän säärenne ja takalistonne ajavat minut vallan hurmoksen partaalle
9. Te olette kovasti minun mieleeni / Ruumiini ilot ovat Teidän käytettävissänne / Teidän seksuaalinen vetovoimanne on sangen mieltäkiihdyttävä
10. Olkaapa hyvä ja valmistakaa jotain makoisaa suuhunpantavaa, sanokaamme vaikkapa sillistä
11. Armahin/Rakkahin, käykäämme yhdessä tarkastelemaan elokuvataiteen viimeisimpiä saavutuksia

[Hank W.]

Ruumiini ilot ovat Teidän käytettävissänne


Valintatilanteen edessä olisin todennäköisesti taipuvaisempi kohtaamaan harmitusta
ja kohtalon kismittäviä takaiskuja Teidän rinnallanne kuin miellyttäviä tuokioita jonkun toisen henkilön keralla


Rohkenen esittää, että suunvuoro erimielisyyksiemme puintiin suotaisiin nyt minulle


Ah, Teidän säärenne ja takalistonne ajavat minut vallan hurmoksen partaalle


Olkaapa hyvä ja valmistakaa jotain makoisaa suuhunpantavaa, sanokaamme vaikkapa sillistä

[Timbeh]

[ryutombstone]

I might keep a few of those in mind too! (the ones Timbeh posted)

I get the impression Sammy's ones are dirty or something, everyone's laughing at them.

[Hank W.]

Not dirty, *proper*.

The delights of my body are available.
I beg the floor to bring forth an intercourse over our mutual discrepancies
Dear Sir, thy calves and buttocks become you.

[Angelica]

1. Timbeh, thank you enormously!
2. sammy, thank you very much! But is it just formal Finnish, or something more..? Could you translate them, please, in order for me to know at least what I`m going to tell my love !
3. Hank, indeed, i did ask for a Finnish translation, not for a venomous attack on what you find right or wrong in cookery or my relations.

[Hank W.]

I happen to love my beautiful language, and I rather people learn it first to avoid stupidity... a bit like getting a tattoo in Chinese http://www.hanzismatter.com

What I was trying to say to you with the "cooking" thing is you cannot "translate" phrases, or you can "translate" them but you cannot necessarily use them as they do not convey a similar message.

I really should have been venomous and *made* you the translations...

[Angelica]

Hank, and I happen to be learning your beautiful language, but by myself and that`s quite hard, so I`m not at the right level yet to compose myself phrases. And I do have respect for your language, as I do have it for all the others, because I seriously love learning foreign languages and know some perfect and some very well. It`s a matter of a hard and long training to be able to talk as freely as a Finn, of course, but why not (knowing how to pronounce it right, of course -and that I do know by now, listening to audio materials) make happy the person I love? Especially when he speaks my language almost fluently!
I got your idea about cooking and whatsoever, I understand the phenomenon.
Oh God, I`m happy you didn`t!!=)) My lover would have killed me, I guess.

[Hank W.]

Not killed, but you'd owed him probably new underwear It is actually a very popular practical joke in Finland to teach a few "selected phrases" to people.

However, I am wondering why you didn't ask the "10 Finnish women phrases", which you need to learn to speak inhaling and exhaling without a pause

1. Missä sitä ollaan oltu taas koko yö?
2. Taas päissään kuin käki!
3. Lopeta se kuorsaaminen!
4. On elämässä muutakin kun jääkiekko!
5. Onko se niin vaikea laittaa vessanpöntön kansi alas!
6. Ei paskasilla saappailla puhtaalle matolle!
7. Taasko sitä ollaan ostettu punaista maitoa ja HK-n sinistä, missä vihannekset?
8. Onko sitä pakko korjata öljyistä moottorisahaa keittiön pöydässä?
9. Minulla on päänsärkyä.
10. Minä muutan takaisin äidin luo!

I trust Timbeh will explain these

[enk]

1. Missä sitä ollaan oltu taas koko yö?
2. Taas päissään kuin käki!
3. Lopeta se kuorsaaminen!
4. On elämässä muutakin kun jääkiekko!
5. Onko se niin vaikea laittaa vessanpöntön kansi alas!
6. Ei paskasilla saappailla puhtaalle matolle!
7. Taasko sitä ollaan ostettu punaista maitoa ja HK-n sinistä, missä vihannekset?
8. Onko sitä pakko korjata öljyistä moottorisahaa keittiön pöydässä?
9. Minulla on päänsärkyä.
10. Minä muutan takaisin äidin luo!

Hehhe, good phrases:

1. And where have you been all night, eh?
2. Drunk as a skunk again (the Finnish refers to cuckoos)
3. Stop that snoring!
4. There's more to life than hockey!
5. Is it really that difficult to put the (toilet seat) lid down?
6. Get your crappy boots off my clean carpet!
7. So you bought whole milk and HK Sininen sausage again, where are the veggies?
8. Do you really have to fix your oily chainsaw on the kitchen table?
9. I've got a headache.
10. I'm moving back in with my mom!

Note: HK Sininen has a dubious reputation. Men claim its sausage (or conversely a vegetable ), women tend to claim it's not. I frankly
think it's disgusting, but have been known to eat it if someone else has
made it

-enk

[Hank W.]

Note: HK Sininen has a dubious reputation. Men claim its sausage (or conversely a vegetable ), women tend to claim it's not.

No no no,
- it is *marketed* as a sausage.
- men claim it counts as a vegetable (as it has no meat).
- and women find it disgusting

Though it isn't quite that bad... there is a few generic resembling sausages as well. I prefer HK blå to say Lauantai/sipulitee & al as it is slightly less greasy. Then again my favorite is Hakala Suomilenkki