US Citizen - Sole Custody of 3 Children

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sorsa76
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Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2021 12:07 pm

US Citizen - Sole Custody of 3 Children

Post by sorsa76 » Sat Oct 02, 2021 1:01 pm

I have lived in Finland for 1 year. My soon to be ex wife and I have 3 dual nationality children. My wife told me a month and a half ago that she was moving out. She left by herself and my boys and I have been on our own since then. September 23rd, my wife and I went to our municipalities Lastenvalvoja ???? and signed papers giving me sole custody of the children. We filed for divorce on the 15th of the month. Here are my questions...

1. Today she came over and was telling me that it would be easy for her to just go and get the papers changed because the mother is highly valued in Finland. I thought this was a legally binding document. I do not believe she is wanting to do it, it is just a way to exhibit some form of control over me. I felt a lot safer with this document, but now I am anxious and I can't find very much info online searching in English.

2. What are reasonable Visitations to maintain a relationship - We agreed on (Not on paper), but Tuesday and Thursday 5pm - 6:30pm and Sundays from 10am - 4pm. I have been very accommodating to changes and also to extended times. I would assume this is considered very reasonable and fostering a good relationship. Is this a good start??? She is living in a 25m2 apartment and has stated that she would be ok with them not staying there.

I hope that someone has experience in this situation. Thanks.



US Citizen - Sole Custody of 3 Children

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ajdias
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Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 9:01 pm

Re: US Citizen - Sole Custody of 3 Children

Post by ajdias » Tue Oct 05, 2021 10:27 am

Sorry to hear that your boys are left with only one reliable parent. As someone who did plenty of mistakes I can leave you with two advices: 1) don't ever sign away anything without getting a lawyer involved. Even if you don't need her to pay child support, you should get the decision. 2) Document, document, document. Write down everything that happens, everything that she says, even phone calls you can record (it is legal in Finland).

As for your questions, I am not a lawyer but I am under the impression that you cannot change the papers without your consent, or a court decision. That is why it is important for you to document everything. I don't know how often moms give away their rights and them get them back, but it is prob not as easy as she thinks.

Regarding 2) it depends on the age of your children. You should probably want everything documented and agreed on paper, even if you can be flexible, and may even ask for some help and guidance from the children services of your city. From your post it seems that you're the only reliable adult in the children's lives and it may take a while for the mom to come to her senses and grow up.


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