From The War Zone To The Land Of Peace ...

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JaDLB
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From The War Zone To The Land Of Peace ...

Post by JaDLB » Thu Sep 14, 2006 12:32 pm

Hei ,

I have been reading this forum for quiet a while and I would like to share my experience that is basically just starting but well i can not ignore that it is quiet different from others . But i want to share this with all these people suffering from the unjust system: The right of a descent life in peace for all.

Anyhow I am 24 male from Lebanon, the war started in my country last 12th of July, i come from the Christian side of Beirut that was not damaged like the south but still I have seen it all , the destruction and the hate .

They call Beirut the sin city of the Arab world, but it is a beautiful city but sadly located in a region full of hate and anger.

I just graduated in hotel mgt. and was working in a small family run hotel business, and there during the war, there was this journalist covering the news and we met, there was lots of Finns being evacuated from our hotel at that time and we had to live me and her the real war time, the bombs, the sad stressful moments. Believe me, it was not easy for me to see a whole country that was about to BOOM again and was counting on a summer season to boost its economy again being destroyed, all my hopes where gone. The whole nation was being destroyed by the anger of both stupid parties, the Hezbollah stupid terrorists and the idiot Israelis.

Anyhow am happy to be far from there now , i will never go back whatever happens to Lebanon , i can no more handle these wars each 10 years or so. I am 24 and have lived already 2 wars.

So Marika lived me with the hard moments and we talked about everything we felt this emotional need to be together, I am sure it was not love yet. But well there was something going on there. We spent all the 7 days of her stay together, she was covering the news and i was helping to translate and do some extra work with other journalists until we came with the decision that I should move with her to Finland and that's how things started.

We took a cab during the heavy bombing with other Finns toward the Syrian borders and there I stayed at the place of a Finnish friend that we met and the next day i got my papers and we went to the embassy of Finland in Syria and filled the visa application since am a Lebanese passport holder. Then Marika left home and i had to go thru living in Syria for at least 4 to 5 weeks where we were in contact all the time via MSN chat and daily phone calls. Marika was my hope, my love, i wasn't quiet happy before the war in Lebanon, since i was lonely and came out of a relation that lasted before for 8 years. I can say the drama we went thru me and Marika during those 7 days, I never seen like it. So sad Lebanon has to suffer from the regional games of others, sad that us the Lebanese youth generation has to pay the price and go thru wars again and again.

So the 5 weeks went on like hell , I felt like !"#¤% , I hated Syria , i advice no one to live or even think to go there , it is a pure dictatorship and it's a country where there is no hope of change , I was paranoid , scared all the time there , i had only Marika as hope , then it was the real love pumping , the love of a new life with a girl that is so sweet and the girl that i love , I truly love and make a life with . Build a future, make kids and grow old together :)

So i arrived by first of September to Helsinki airport , and there my dream started , this peaceful place called Helsinki , where people are cold and where there is a huge culture shock for me but they are the sweetest and most peaceful people , Marika is my everything now ... and Finland is my new home. Simply as that!!!

I had post trauma stress, I was waking during the nights and not sleeping scared from Israeli jets and bombs, I feel home sick always now.

We got engaged after 7 days, each day feels like a year. We are soul mates, it s just like we are born to be together. I know in many comments there was remarks about true love but well this is a true love, Lebanon is not a bad place to be in, culture is different but i want to be here, to live in peace with the love of my life.

14 days exactly passed and we are now engaged, I wait her next to the door like a puppy so that when she gets back home I jump and kiss her, she is everything now.

The scary part is since I am on a tourist visa, i will not be able to work, and what kind of husband i shall be for sitting doing the housewife, am a hard working student that just got his degree and needs to continue my hard work to build a family, so we looked our options and the only solution for me will be getting married it seems. so we decide even that is so fast that we getting married after just 2 month but we have no choice , i don’t want her to feed me and support me , I want to build a descent life , work hard and come home and be with her .

So the marriage will be next month, but we are so scared from the immigration and from them sending me back to do papers in lebanon, where we have no Finnish embassy and where it is crazy to go back there due to the war and specially it will be hell for me, i don’t want to step in the middle east again. It is a living hell.

So does anybody have any ideas what will happen from their experience. can anybody advice , well after we get married , i will apply with M for my PR , i don’t care what is the status they give , i just want to be here with her . So i am really worried and scared, I plan to be like Finns a real honest guy, but I have no clue how things will go and if our story will convince them and what proof shall we provide. I ran away from a war not to live another one, a stupid war of papers and interviews that make me feel like low and treated like !"#¤%. Please help and advice!!!

Heipa :-)

JaD
Last edited by JaDLB on Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:12 am, edited 1 time in total.


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From The War Zone To The Land Of Peace ...

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sinikettu
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Re: From The War Zone To The Land Of Peace ...

Post by sinikettu » Thu Sep 14, 2006 12:55 pm

JaDLB wrote:Hei all ,

Since i am on a tourist visa , i will not be able to work ,

so we looked our options and the only solution for me will be getting married it seems . so we decide even that is so fast that we getting married after just 2 month but we have no choice ,

, but we are so scared from the immigration and from them sending me back to do papers in lebanon , where we have no finnish embassy

so does anybody has any ideas what will happen from their experience .

can anybody advice , well after we get married , i will apply with M for my PR , i dont care what is the status they give . Please help and advice !!!

Heipa :-)

JaD
You ask..so does anybody has any ideas what will happen from their experience .

I doubt that anyone can advise you based on experience..because what you have experienced is a bit rare.

However..You have three months left on your tourist visa.
You are getting married to a Finnish citizen...
Take the Lebanon out of the equation and go to the local immigration office/police station with your wife to be and discuss the formality with them.
During the waiting time start to study the Finnish language.

That is my initial advice..other than...enjoy the peace here.
People do not become more irritable as they grow old - they simply stop making the effort to avoid annoying others.

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Hank W.
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Post by Hank W. » Thu Sep 14, 2006 12:55 pm

Well... not wanting to discourage you...

To get married you have to prove you are not married. To prove you are not married you need... paperwork. To get such paperwork you need to... well, I don't know how Lebanese people prove they are not married... the nearst Lebanese embassy is in Stockholm though.

And then after you get married, if they believe in such sudden love is another thing...

Hrm... I'd think there was some Lebanese association in Finland, but I guess there isn't...
Cheers, Hank W.
sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.

JaDLB
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Love may exist ...

Post by JaDLB » Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:14 pm

I am starting intensive language classes at the Helsinki University Next monday ... I have registered there 2 days ago.

as for the papers for not being married , she has asked about that while i was back waiting and i have such paper sent to me before i left .

i am not married it is stated on my papers , passport.

my visa is valid for 1 year and it's 3 month stay then i can go out and in again for another 3 month.

Thanks for the hints anyhow ... then the answers came here as we think me and Marika , it is a matter of luck. and yes love can occur in desprate war times , why not ... this world is full of sadness and horror and hate but there is still some love somehow. beleive it or not !!!

There is no such lebanese association here , there is only a few lebs here , very few like 100 of them and i met 5 of them since my arrival , they are all doing great and been here for 10 years + and they are happy and integrated in the Finnish system.
The Wise Stays Silent ...

EP
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Post by EP » Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:43 pm

I cannot advice you in any way, but it seems that you have the initial paper work sorted out.

[/quote]a stupid war of papers and interviews that make me feel like low and treated like !"#?%.[quote]

That paperwork and interviews you really cannot avoid. You could not in any country.

About language learning: Make your Marika speak Finnish to you, that is the fastest way to learn. Nothing complicated first, just small practical things like "Pass me the salt" and "What time is it?". That is the start.

If you want a taste of Lebanon, there is a restaurant called Farouge in Helsinki. It is a good one, kept by a Lebanese woman and her Finnish husband. Always gets good reviews.

JaDLB
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true ...

Post by JaDLB » Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:52 pm

EP,

Yea thanks god for internet, i met many Lebanese here via internet and there is another fast food Lebanese restaurant in FORUM called Habibi . I didn’t go to FAROUJ, reviews said it is quiet expensive. At least 100 Euro per person for a good meal.

As for the interviews am ready to go for that , but remember i just came from dictatorship and hell . The police isn't freindly there like here.

This is funny: last Sunday we were heading home drunk like hell me and M, we sit at the door step of the building and HA!!! there was some man and his wife in the building in face on the balcony and they were kissing and then we waived smiling , he goes out after 10 minutes and ask us if the view was nice i say YEA cool I ask him where he is from and ha , he says LEBANON

Now that is coincidence , my neighbor in face is Lebanese that been here for 2 years now and he is also happy here and the only trouble for him is language but I don’t feel it is that complicated like he does . I do what you said me and Marika , she keeps reminding me everyday of all basic words and I teach her exchange in Arabic since she wants to learn Arabic . and i know many Finnish sentences now.

kiitos for ur help.

JaD
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odon
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Post by odon » Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:11 pm

good luck to you.....!! :lol: :lol:


i know everything will fall into place, in due time....take it slowly......

the important thing is that you two are together, and all paperwork, and other things comes second :wink:

cheers

mumra

Post by mumra » Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:05 pm

Why don't you apply for asylum? I'm not entirely sure what criteria you need to meet to gain asylum, but I reckon escaping from a war zone gives you a pretty good chance.

JaDLB
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Post by JaDLB » Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:07 pm

Because am not asking for asylum , my home country is not that bad . i dont want to take advantage of the system in finland.

Plus asylum , they will put me in jail . so you think after graduating from the best universities and living a great life before that war , i will come put myself in a jail just for the sake of staying here.

I will get my papers done the descent way and i will fight for it and for my rights to remain here with the one i love. I love her for true, she is my evrything.

hyvaa :)

JaD
The Wise Stays Silent ...

mumra

Post by mumra » Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:41 pm

JaDLB wrote:Plus asylum , they will put me in jail.
Really? I thought they gave you an apartment, a few hundred €s a month and free Finnish lessons.

Anyway good luck. Enjoy the honey moon period ;-)

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superiorinferior
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Post by superiorinferior » Fri Sep 15, 2006 7:11 am

mumra wrote:
JaDLB wrote:Plus asylum , they will put me in jail.
Really?
Really. It's not a pretty process.

JaDLB
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Post by JaDLB » Fri Sep 15, 2006 12:40 pm

what do u think the Finnish gov is a red cross or amnesty international

they will pack me in a bag and send me back home . when it comes to immigrants , Finland the last they want is more of them :P

JaD
Last edited by JaDLB on Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Hank W.
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Post by Hank W. » Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:15 pm

Logic is -If you can come all the way to Finland you have had no danger of anything for a long time in between - they accept may be 1-2% of the asylum applications 1500 applicants, maybe 5 get refugee status...
Cheers, Hank W.
sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.

kmboll
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Post by kmboll » Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:59 pm

Hank W. wrote:Logic is -If you can come all the way to Finland you have had no danger of anything for a long time in between - they accept may be 1-2% of the asylum applications 1500 applicants, maybe 5 get refugee status...
How does that compare to other countries of the world? It sounds pretty bad.
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Post by Cod » Fri Sep 15, 2006 10:59 pm

We got engaged after 7 days, each day feels like a year.
ok...dude...kiif haalek...ismi Dahuud

..this could be the best thing you ever do or a big mistake

..marriage is forever, I don't doubt that you're ready, but is she?

..extend your engagement, give her some space, then if she's still your habibi after a year, then 'mumtaaz' dude!

if not, then man, you just saved yourself a whole lot of trouble on top of leaving a war torn country...

maa salaame


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