Child interaction: Concern!

[Chinmay]

We are living in Helsinki, I am having a daughter 1 and half years old. I am concerned about my daughter as she has very less interaction with other people or any children. This is resulting in shy nature / irritation when she meets someone. I have enquired about playschool for admission, but it seems they do not take children below age of 2 years. I feel that same situation would have been faced by other parents too.

Would love to know about any groups or to hear from people who have arranged for get together for their child during week days or weekends.

Any advise is greatly appreciated.
Contact: chinmay_chandan@yahoo.com

[Kupcake]

Hi Chimnay! Can't help you with playgroups or get togethers (my kids are teenagers now), but i want to let you know that most kids go through various stages of being shy - out of my three, only one of them has never been shy. It can happen all through their developmental years, and it happens for many reasons. It is most often a way for them to protect themselves from situations where they feel insecure, so you are definitely doing the right thing by trying to expose her (gently) to a regular playgroup or some other group where she can develop some confidence in mixing with other kids. If you are especially concerned about her development, you should take her to a doctor for tests, as some disorders are associated with anti-social behaviour.

Good luck with finding a group

[Flossy1978]

I do know that at some parks there are groups that meet up for singing, reading etc every week. Why not try to go to your local park and see if they've got a centre at the park that you can join in with their groups? At the park near where I live, they had some kind of activity almost every morning of the week starting at 10am. One day was reading, one day was singing, another was a day that the parent can leave their child there for about 45 minutes with the leaders to try and learn how to be seperated from their parents. I use to go to one group where they had children of all ages.

There are lots of places and groups that you could take your daughter to.

What about putting your daughter into daycare for a few hours a few times a week?

My son and plenty of other children start daycare under the age of two.

You can plan it so that your daughter goes to daycare for breakfest at 8am and stays there till midday when the children go down for their naps. That's 4 hours a day. Maybe three times a week? In this four hour peiod, your child will eat breakfast with her peers. They usually have some kind of 'learning' time after breakfest, be it drawing, being read to, some kind of craft etc. Then around 9.30 they will go outside to play for awhile, sometimes taking walks in forests etc. Then they come inside for lunch and then get ready to go to nap. That might be a good solution for you. Most children thrive in these kind of environments. Daycare is pretty good here in Finland. I don't know if you are Finnish, so sorry if you are and already know this.

Goodluck!

[EP]

kids don't take an interest in other kids until about age 2. Their whole world revolves around themselves and those closest to them, usually Mom or other special caregiver. Interaction can't be forced..it'll come naturally. Take her to a sandbox and let her simply watch the other children. She'll find her own way in her own time.

I agree with that. Andthat is also the reason why playschools start at the age of 2. I don´t know. I would not worry just yet, maybe in a year. Just go to a park where there are children´s playgroups. Sit there and hold her on your lap and let her watch. When she is ready she will wriggle down from your lap and go a little nearer to other children. Maybe she backs up and comes back to you a few times, but after a while she will join the other kids. Really, she is still a baby, not really a toddler yet.

[Kupcake]

If you are especially concerned about her development, you should take her to a doctor for tests, as some disorders are associated with anti-social behaviour.

Tests for disorders in 1.5 yr olds who are shy with others? She's a baby, basically, and still very much attached to Mom. Separation anxiety is a normal stage even at this age. I'm the first one to step up and say that if a parent's intuition is peaked at anything to do with their child, do take them to a professional. We are the ones who know our kids inside and out but kids don't take an interest in other kids until about age 2. Their whole world revolves around themselves and those closest to them, usually Mom or other special caregiver. Interaction can't be forced..it'll come naturally. Take her to a sandbox and let her simply watch the other children. She'll find her own way in her own time.

Note, i mentioned that if the mother is "especially concerned" she should consult a doctor. And yes, these tests can be performed on a child of 1.5 yrs. A friend of mine was especially concerned about her daughter's development at that age, saw a doc, and the child was diagnosed with autism - the assessment was based on factors that included social development, but was not limited to it. There are a lot of other diagnostic symptoms to take into account in these situations. Turned out that mum's instincts were right on, and the fact that she was diagnosed early has meant that she has had the resources necessary to ensure a good quality of life. The child is 7 now, still under the ongoing care of specialist educators and paediatrician. Just one example ...

[JuliaB]

I took mine to a once a week playgroup/Perhekerho run by the church. Almost every perish has one. It was great 2 1/2 hours once a week and Sofia could sing songs, play with toys, eat a little snack and interact with the other children. It was free because it was run by the chrch, they did ask for a small donation towards food for kids and coffee for the adults. 5 euros over 1 year. The religious aspect was pretty minimal to a bit of a song at the begining and a short thank you prayer at the end.

At first Sofia sat on my lap most of the time because she did not know the songs and was not fully comfortable yet, but after a few weeks she had made some friends and was happy to go every week. Also it was good for me as everything was in finnish I learned a lot, because everything was designed for kids under 3 yrs, the language was very simple. I made a friend with a son about Sofia's age and we went out for coffee with the kids a few times a month. Even more intereaction, it was great.

Get yours out there in a safe environment and let er go at her own pace. She will come out of her shell.

[Chinmay]

Thank you for your response. I have become wiser now.