help with divorce!!

okok · Post by **okok** » Fri May 09, 2008 9:04 am

i was out of Finland 11 months in my country Turkey and by the time, i came back Finland i find my wife has already file for divorce and she is living with another man anywhere in lahti. she filed for divorced 3 months ago. now what to do. no childrend. help what i do?

**Sponsor:**

Mook · Post by **Mook** » Fri May 09, 2008 10:16 am

okok wrote:what i do?

In order to achieve what?

Just sign the papers and get on with your new-ish life.

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Fri May 09, 2008 10:46 am

Sorry to hear that

... however, since you asked, it seems that there hasn't been much communication (at least direct and honest) between you two during your absence... that alone is IMO a sign of a relationship not really working, not really having a future. Sad to say. Did you live together for a long time?

okok · Post by **okok** » Fri May 09, 2008 2:44 pm

can't i win her back? she has feeling for me but she is lonely and got married but she loves that man too now... is there any way to win her back by law or also threatening that guy? i am so much in love for her....

Oombongo · Post by **Oombongo** » Fri May 09, 2008 2:54 pm

okok wrote:can't i win her back? she has feeling for me but she is lonely and got married but she loves that man too now... is there any way to win her back by law or also threatening that guy? i am so much in love for her....

First of all: Sorry to know about your situation
Second: No you can't win her back. Feelings ain't important in real life scenario. How do you know that she got feelings from you? Does she call you for a shoulder to cry on? Did aliens tell you?
She is living with other dude means that she doesn't want anything from you. You should be glad that there's no kids and money/property involved. You should go ahead with paper work to finalize this divorce to avoid any problems in future.
World is full of women, and you will get one sooner or later.

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri May 09, 2008 4:14 pm

okok wrote:is there any way to win her back by law or also threatening that guy?

lets see now...
4.§. Jos mies ylönanda waimons ja juoxe pois hänen tyköäns, pahudesta ja wastahacoisudesta, ja mene ulcomaille sijnä aiwoituxesa, ettei edespäin olla ja asua hänen canssans; hänellä ei pidä oleman yhtän oikeutta hallita osaans omaisudesa, eli kijndiäitä tiluxians.Jos waimo tahto hänestä luopua; ottacon Tuomarilda haaston. Jos ei tietä misä mies itzeens ylöspitä; andacon Tuomari Saarnastuoleilda cuulutta hänen perääns coco Kihlacunnan ylitze, eli Caupungisa, jos hän sijnä asuwa ollut on, nijn myös lähimmäisisä Pitäisä sen ymbäristöllä, ja pancon hänen eteens yön ja wuoden.Jos ei hän tule sen eteenpannun ajan sisällä; nijn tuomitcon Tuomari eroxi, ja olcon mies cadottanut coco osans omaisudesa. Sama laki olcon, jos waimo miehens tyköä poisjuoxee.

So, running away to a foreign country from your spouse has been a reason to give a divorce to the abandoned party since 1734.

hanj · Post by **hanj** » Sun May 11, 2008 12:24 am

threatening the guy would probably put you in deeper trouble

norwich · Post by **norwich** » Sun May 11, 2008 1:14 am

okok wrote:is there any way to win her back by law or also threatening that guy?

What?

Good for her for getting another man and divorcing you.

okok · Post by **okok** » Sun May 11, 2008 10:42 pm

why nobody take my side?? why the F%&¤ should i get kick and i stay quite??? that man stole my wife why i stay quite?

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Sun May 11, 2008 11:06 pm

okok wrote:why nobody take my side?? why the F%&¤ should i get kick and i stay quite??? that man stole my wife why i stay quite?

I understand you must be feeling quite bad, but in healthy relationships, people can not be "owned" or "stolen"... or did this other guy FORCE her to choose him instead of you? If you see it that way, would you be any better for forcing her to come back to you? By threatening the other guy? Come on, that would be just pathetic

Besides, you haven't even explained why you were away for 11 months and why you and your wife did not manage to communicate (well at least not "honestly") during that time... did your wife accept your going away? Were you in any kind of contact during that time?

I don't think anyone here believes that your situation is a nice one. So in a way we do sympathise with you. S*it happens and when it happens to you... it isn't funny. BUT it's really impossible to take either your or your wife's side... I don't mean it to sound harsh but both of you are complete strangers and we have no way of knowing all the background etc.

Advice? Well you could try and talk to your wife, sort it out. If she still says no to you, respect her decision and be a grown-up; disappointed, sad, angry, but a grown-up. Alternatively you can try and flap your arms and fly to the moon.

raamv · Post by **raamv** » Sun May 11, 2008 11:19 pm

okok wrote:why nobody take my side?? why the F%&¤ should i get kick and i stay quite??? that man stole my wife why i stay quite?

you talk as though she is your Property and someone stole it

!! Get a grip! and deal with it!!
If you are not what she is looking for anymore in her life, why keep trying to force your way into her life again!!

ajdias · Post by **ajdias** » Sun May 11, 2008 11:36 pm

okok wrote:why nobody take my side?? why the F%&¤ should i get kick and i stay quite??? that man stole my wife why i stay quite?

I see where you're coming from and I do sympathize with you. However, that man did not steal your wife. If she is with him, most likely she went for him freely, out of her own will. That's what people are trying to tell you, it's as strange for them to hear someone talk of a "stolen wife" as it is for you to accept that Finnish women can just walk away from a relationship and there's not much the partner can do.

Hee · Post by **Hee** » Mon May 12, 2008 4:08 am

okok wrote:why nobody take my side?? why the F%&¤ should i get kick and i stay quite??? that man stole my wife why i stay quite?

She is not your property. Move on with your life and find someone else.

okok · Post by **okok** » Mon May 12, 2008 6:35 am

yes women no property but i feel cheated. i contacted her many times when i was away from here and she talks long time. all of suddenly she is busy to take my phone. really, is there not a way to prevent this divorce because she has just filed for divorce for 3 month only. i mean there is not any rules or law that i stop this divorce. i am sure she will lost interest with that new man very soon.

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Mon May 12, 2008 7:16 am

Well, if there is no law to stop women from marrying Turkish guys, so why should there be a law to stop them divorcing one either?

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