Ferber Method for Helping Babies Fall Asleep on Thier Own

[Hmag]

HI!

Just wanted to know if any of you out there tried the Ferber Method (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferber_method) for your baby/ies.

I am trying it on my 5 months old (almost 6) son and 2nd night was no different than the 1st night. He would fall asleep in 20 minutes but then would wake up during the night repeatedly and would cry about 2 1/2 hours in total I tried many different ways to calm him down but he only calms down with my breast and he has been waking up every 2-3 hours still. I have not had more than 4 hours of continuous sleep at night for 6 months (I could not sleep well during the last month of my pregnancy, either) and I really need him to sleep longer at night to function as a normal human being, to take care of him better during the day and be a loving wife to my DH.

I feel tremendous guilt and it is breaking my heart to hear him cry that much each night but if I discontinue now all his crying will be in vain….

Any suggestions/experience with this method or other methods to help babies fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night will be highly appreciated!

[SteveS]

Hi,

I have 4 small kids and the third one was a real pain at night. We nicknamed her the Yöterrorist! Luckily here in Finland they have a place called sleeping school, they will take your child for one night (or more) and train him to sleep. If you keep to their instructions in the next following nights the child will sleep much better. I don't know where to go for this service but I'm sure someone else on here knows (or ask for it on your next baby check).

How does the child sleep during the day? How often, how long? This also affects how they sleep at night.

I tried the method you mentioned but my girl could cry for 40 minutes straight so it never worked for us. The other trick is that you should get your partner to wake up at night for the child. At 6 months, the child shouldn't be waking up because it is hungry, if you go to the child it smells and thinks milk so then you are forced to give milk to calm down the baby. If the man picks up and carries the baby it is much more likely to settle once they realise there is no milk on offer.

If the baby IS waking for hunger then you can fill him up before bedtime with "Maissivelli" from Nestle. We have done this with all our children. It is corn not milk based and is quite filling. Sometime babies are a bit colicy if they are full of milk so this is a nice alternative. Worth a try anyway!

Good luck, Steve.

[Mook]

I can tell you that starting Freber with a one year old doesn't work - they can cry all night, so it's best to do that sort of thing earlier.

Velli at bed time helps them last the night without getting hungry (Muksu has one for bedtime, look for the picture of the moon and stars on the packaging)

As for eating in the night, it can help to just give some water rather than milk.

The last thing is that all children are different, so...

[Hmag]

Thanks for the tip for maissivelli. I will look for one today...

My child sleeps in his pram or on my breast during the day. Ferber methods suggests to reinforce the method even for naps but I cannot deal with him crying night AND day so I'm letting him fall asleep in his pram or on my breast still. He normally takes three naps lasting about an hour each. But for the last two days his nap schedule has been quite different I think because he is so tired from crying a lot during the night.....

This is tough. I have to function well as a mother during the day but don't know how long I can tolerate his crying at night

[Sara]

If you havent started already, youre proberly going to be starting weaning (giving solids) very soon. This can help fill your baby up for a little bit longer so might help with sleeping, but it doesnt always.

What have you been doing for sleeping before trying this method?

What are you doing when you go into your baby at night now? And how long are you leaving him to cry for?

Are you using a dummy/pacifier/tutti?

Our boy is 6 months old. Bedtime is a bath every second night. But then always clean nappy, pyjamas, bottle of milk and cot. He has the milk in his cot with the mobile on so he knows that its bedtime. Blinds and curtains always open for daytime, closed for bedtime.

Sometimes he does have a cry but then does go to sleep. He will wake up a few times over the next hour and a half but either putting the tutti in his mouth or picking him up for a little cuddle and putting him down again work well. He is just starting to sleep about 10 hours now, but does sometimes still wake up for milk once during the night.

What youre doing now can work, but its hard work to get the routine going. You need to do it every evening no matter how hard you find it. It could be a couple of weeks before it starts to work.

[Puolukka]

Hi,
With our screamer, our wise neuvola nurse advised simply: "stop giving the breast at night, and in 3-4 nights, no more crying." Weaning our baby from night-feedings was very hard, torture really, and the husband almost packed up his bags and moved out because of all the crying, but I was desperate and so I followed the advice of our nurse. While our baby was screaming, I tried (at 10-15 minute intervals) to soothe him with comforting words and lullabies, just to let him know that I was nearby. In about a week he was sleeping through the night.

[Hmag]

Hi!

Thanks so much for all of your input! This is the 3rd night of Ferberizing and he went to sleep after 6 minutes of crying. Let's see how many times and how long he will wake up tonight. Please wish me luck and send me and my son your motherly/fatherly supporting energy tonight.

I have read/tried 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' but it just did not work for my son. I could not manage to put him in his bed a bit awake without him becoming hysterical the minute his head touched the mattress..... I was using pacifier and it worked sometimes but now he has atopic condition on his face and pacifier use makes his skin rash really worse so I am not using it. He would not take a bottle (he used to) but he does like solid food so I will definitely try velli to fill him up before I put him to sleep. I have a bedtime routine like this: bath, nursing/singing, reading a book and putting him to his crib to say good night.

I think that one week is absolutely the maximum length I can tolerate this. I have stomach pain and I feel AWFUL during the day and my eyes fill up with tears when I think of how much crying he has to do at night..... He's been crying about 2-3 hours in TOTAL each night. BUT I am also desperate.....

Please, keep posting your experiences about baby sleep!

[EP]

You have my symphaties. I have had one "crier", and it went on for more than a year. I was half dead and my husband slept in a bath tub. If I were you I would check out that "sleepimg school" Steve mentioned. I have heard good things about it.

[raamv]

We have done the "co sleeping" with our DS and give him Velli ( Kaura velli and muksu's brand have the night sleeping signs)and then transfer him to his own crib till now and he is almost 2. We did this for our DD and she is now sleeping in her own bed and her own room and sometimes crawls into our bed but not all the time.

[Hmag]

Hi!

3rd night was not so different from the last two. He fell asleep rather quickly (crying for 6 minutes) then slept quite well but after 2am he woke up and would not stop crying for an hour. I fed him, put him back to his crib awake, he fell asleep but then woke up 4.30am. I tried to calm him for half an hour on and off but he would not take it. So I got him up and readied him for the day at 5.10.... Total hour of his sleep and his crying was almost exactly the same as two previous nights. I'm getting a bit discouraged.

Anyway, could someone tell me about this 'sleeping school' thing? I googled it but did not get good results.

Thanks!

[richard berman]

My girls are 3 and 6 and every night it is one or the other with a problem then when you think about it it may never stop, when they are 18 years of age and start going out to the bars, you will still get woken at all hours so don't stress and live with it.

[Rosamunda]

I think you have to reduce his sleep time during the day. If he is sleeping from exhaustion during the day he does not need to sleep all through the night.

What is his daytime routine? Can you somehow limit his afternoon nap (eg wake him up ) and then take him outdoors and get him busy (physically) so he is crawling around or interacting with you or doing something which will use up some of his physical and mental energy. Preferably LOTS of fresh air. Then try and keep him going with various different activities (eating, reading, games) until it is bedtime. If he has spent all his nervous energy during the day then (in theory) he should fall asleep. Extra food before bed may make things worse (you are just giving him more energy) if he has not had plenty of exercise during the day.

One of my boys did not sleep through the night until he was nearly 9 mths old, but he had severe eczema (which was distressing him night-time) and other atopic problems. He only started sleeping through the night after he spent a week in hospital (and I was unable to stay with him every night... so I guess the Ferber method was the default solution for him ). It might be a good idea for your son to have a check-up to make sure there are no problems (like recurrent ear infections which can go unnoticed and are definitely worse night-time). How is his teething?

[oompah18]

None of my 3 ever slept through the night till I stopped breastfeeding them at 1 yr. I didn´t expect them to, but as I was co-sleeping, it was so much easier! Sorry this is no help to you though. However, since moving them to toddler beds at 1 yr, I usually get 12 hrs sleep from all 3 of them every night, unless sick. Lucky me! I just think that one shouldn´t expect babies to sleep through the night till about the first year, but one should just accept that is what babies do! But I think if it is a case of actually GETTING to sleep, rather than waking, I just tried a few SuperNanny tricks from the BBC series, like lie next to them till they sleep, then just sit with them till they sleep, then gradually move further away from the bed each night till you´re right outside the door. Takes a while, but a little less stressful!
Sorry my post isn´t much help to you right now I guess, but anyway, this was my experience. Good luck!

[mita]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babywise

Hi,
my 6 week old just started sleeping 7 hours per night and my 2 year old was sleeping 8 hours a night after 2 months. We used the babywise method which give a very good routine to follow with the babies. I would reccomend getting the book. It could be helpful to you.

Best regards,

[Jessica Slattery]

Hey,

It sounds really hard what you are going through. I have an almost 6 month old baby and of course I've thought a lot about sleep issues as well. I have what seems to be the easiest solution, and it hardly requires much change. There's no problem with feeding your baby to sleep. It is very natural: there are even chemicals released for both mom and baby that help in getting to sleep (you can find more information about this on kellymom.com). I sleep with my baby. He wakes me up during the night, I pull out my breast, he sucks on it for about 2 minutes or less, and then falls back to sleep. Sometimes we both fall asleep while he's eating and that's fine. It's only a very minor interruption. Of course, one day, eventually it will be nice to sleep a whole night, but until then, I'm still getting up to 10 hours sleep a night (if I want it). During the day sometimes I feed him to sleep, and sometimes he falls asleep in the stroller depending on when he ate last. This method at night and these methods during the day are very soothing for my baby, and because of this he almost never cries. We are very happy this way. I think there is too much pressure out there from people who insist on having your baby sleep through the night. Every baby is different and yours will sleep through when ready. Of course, you need your sleep too. So sleep with your baby!