Need a bag of advices

[mois_2012]

Hi everyone

One of my female friends asked me whether or not she should break up with her boy friend. In the process of discussion, she explained me things about her boy friend and my analysis showed that he is kind of:

Rude, disrespectful, hypocrite, control freak, egoistic, illogically stubborn/arrogant, too much selfish, speak many times contradictory stuffs, liar, lie and deny it in the very next moment,try to blame others for his wrong doings, he is always right, have hot temper, try to show that he is open minded but actually mean minded, does not give any space and does not understand personal freedom and finally he tries to say that he is very much liberal and open minded about religion but in reality he is kind of bigot. Sometimes confused and less confident about his future etc.....

On the other hand, he is very funny and humorous, outgoing, active and was warm-hearted and made love passionately in the beginning.

I advice her to break up with him. But she is confused.

By the way, she is a very introvert and very shy girl. When I told about this forum, she wanted to get your advices how she can improve the situation or she should really break up with him .

[love_not_war]

If she considers herself to be an independent and smart girl, she should break up with him.

[Pursuivant]

Rude, disrespectful, hypocrite, control freak, egoistic, illogically stubborn/arrogant, too much selfish, speak many times contradictory stuffs, liar, lie and deny it in the very next moment,try to blame others for his wrong doings, he is always right, have hot temper, try to show that he is open minded but actually mean minded, does not give any space and does not understand personal freedom and finally he tries to say that he is very much liberal and open minded about religion but in reality he is kind of bigot. Sometimes confused and less confident about his future etc.....

So, he's a woman?

[AldenG]

She probably thinks nobody worth having will want her. She will probably stay with him and become more and more dependent and self-doubting, no matter what you advise her to do. He in his turn will behave worse and worse over time. On some level she thinks (or acts like she thinks) she deserves the abuse. He will come to loathe her (if he does not already) for being someone who would put up with someone like him, and to loathe himself for being irresistibly attracted to such a mouse.

In other words, he will continue to draw her like a moth to the flame. The tragedy is irresistible to her.

If she doesn't break away now, she'll be in much worse shape in every way once she finally does break away. And then she'll find another one just like him to start over with.

Probably everybody around her except she herself sees what she needs to do. But chances are that she won't do it. Instead she'll suck people around her into the drama. Don't get trapped yourself.

[rinso]

One of my female friends asked me whether or not she should break up with her boy friend.

When in doubt; leave!

[blackdragone]

This topic is crazy in my opinion. Not only this girl is together with such guy but she goes to a public forum to know what to do in her life? I say the girl has no personality and her being together with this guy is just the top of the iceberg.
My suggestion is first to break up with him if she's not happy and later doing a very deep self-analysis because when you stay with such a bad person the problem is not him, it's YOU and your relationship with YOURSELF.

Paola

[sgenious]

My advice to understand the reason why his mental condition is so. May be boy has some other factors in life may be that are affecting him to act so. I suggest to know each other and to solve the reason if reason is such that can be avoided and be abe to get rid off. Sometime reason cannot be avioded and cannot be solve. Like you cannot changelifestyle in society but you can change this at home and may be he feel attraction for other girls. You cannot change such situation in finland.

[enkeligod]

What a load of negative characteristics your boy friend is having . Wait a minute is your friend so righteous that she is not doing anything wrong that pisses him off ? It is always the man to be blamed in a relationship when it goes wrong why ? Is this a multicultural relationship and is there a child ? Do your friend spend most of her time on the phone talking with her relatives and friends telling them every fart and pooh that happens at their home and relationship ?

You yourself coming on forum have you tried to profer a positive solution for them rather than taking your friends sides ?

Break up is easy , but build up is way too difficult.

[goldfire]

I am quoting from a recent movie I saw, and I think it applies very well to this situation.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Let it be a lesson for her (or anyone in these types of situations) know that we all have a right to be happy, and we should not determine our worth based on others. Fear of being alone, or fear of the 'unknown' should not be an obstacle from walking away from a bad relationship. She deserves to be happy, and clearly, it's not with someone who makes her feel otherwise.

Be there for her and provide her with all the support she needs in her trials.

Wish you all the best.

Cheers.

[cors187]

I could not help to pull my advise out of the bag aswell.

Best advise i can give is to act like a married couple and throw your problems on the table , because they are your problems.He has to throw his problems on the table, if you can live with each other knowing those things then mutual change is good.
Basically your living a lie if you think this guy has that many faults and youve created this forum account to tell others of his faults.Its better to tell him.

[cors187]

I just realized , maybe youve made this thread and broadcasted a quite detailed account because your partner is a regular here. Honey i ring you soon