Love problem, please advice

honestjeenn · Post by **honestjeenn** » Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:31 pm

Scenario...

We, Finnish BF and I have a little fight last nov 2 and then nov 3, i sent him an email and he replied back. Then, I asked him an apology and he did kept on communicating with me in the email nov 4, nov 5, nov 6(his messages: ..........just give me time to think.... after 3 hours again he sent me this: (You know Jean although I’am a man I have feelings also.....I’am not made of stone or ice..........I’am so sad when you quarrel with me coz I have bad memories about my first *gf*....she quarrelled with me much...and there were not big reasons...just a small thing triggered a fight that lasted many days) as I am not responding as he said he just want to think, after 2 hours, he sent me this: Who is talking about giving up?...I think not me...you should be patient Jean........Although I’am not online...I’am not looking for anybody here just work in my farm... .. In short, we are back again to normal before my bday Nov 9... He even sent me an e-card on my birthday and then we chatted in YM and Skype...

November 10, he never sent me an email and sent him a text through online saying, Babe, why not sent me an email or anything? Then he sent me a message to my mobile phone, he have this terrible headache and needs to go to the doctor..

He have two mobiles... The one he always carry with him rings till monday night.. Then thursday, no more. I don't know if he is in the hospital and wasn't able to re-charge..

I was calling his other phone left at home and sent him some texts there.. Friday morning, his phone left at home no more rings... I was suspecting, if he was there at home, of course the phone should ring still... But maybe he in the hospital? I am just assuming..

We are in good terms before he said, his head is hurting.. also, if he have to change numbers, and pissed off of me, why not while we are in the stage of arguing? he suppose have change numbers both during those times that we are not in good terms... Sigh, don't know what to do...

Please advice me... Do men in finland don't want proper closure? Don't know my BF's relatives.. I wasn't able to ask his brothers name who is a doctor in KUOPIO.. Sigh.

6 days that we are not communicating while for 3 months, we are chatting daily that is before he sleeps and when he goes up in bed, he have to leave me a message in the site where we two met...

Do I need to wait till he contact me? If only i have someone to ask to visit him in his place... So that I will know what he really doing there.

**Sponsor:**

honestjeenn · Post by **honestjeenn** » Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:32 am

No finnish people to contribute their ideas about how men fall and break a woman?

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:47 am

So he went and stepped on the cork. When he sobers up he'll go feed the cows an find the tractor.

Flossy1978 · Post by **Flossy1978** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:49 am

What do you want to hear?

Finns aren't always known for being the most polite people when breaking up with someone.

You've been chatting for 3 months over the net and that's it?

Maybe it's time you forget him. Because if he's not replying to you, it's probably he has broken up with you.

There are dumbarse men all over the world. Finnish men aren't any different LOL. There dumbarse women too....

Or maybe the headache was something serious and he did kick the bucket. Well, if that's the case, you'll never know.... So either way, better to move on with life and find someone who is "real", not just on the net.

ritan7471 · Post by **ritan7471** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:13 am

I can say that in my experience with Finnish men when I see this behavior:
Asking you why you have to argue with him and how stressed out it makes him after you demand an apology.
Asking you for time to think and be by himself
Claiming to have a horrible headache (because of all this stress and arguing) and maybe have to see a doctor.
Then not answering their phones

I know its a big clue that either he is breaking up with you or needs to take a break from communicating to get his head in order.

Leave it alone. If he wants to be with you then he will get back in touch.

If he doesn't, all the calling and emailing in the world won't make him come back.

Oombongo · Post by **Oombongo** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:46 am

If he doesn't want to have any contact with you then it clearly means that he left the building. There's really no use to become his puppy, follow him around and embarrass yourself.
If you were duped into believing so-called "Finnish honesty" then probably it is time for you to hit back to this planet. Even natives laugh at it. Most likely it was made up by some penthouse writer turned into a foreign journalist. The concept of that honesty is certainly not valid when it comes to relationship/courtship/dating etc. I don't know how natives breakup with each other. Are they straight with each other or do they leave signs/hints or a giant frigging map?

In a twisted way, he is doing a huge favor to you. You should send a Christmas card to him.

enkeligod · Post by **enkeligod** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:09 pm

[quote="Oombongo"] I don't know how natives breakup with each other. Are they straight with each other or do they leave signs/hints or a giant frigging map?

Natives do break-up by having excess of this

or by playing Angry bird.

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:12 pm

For situations like this I think it's best to listen to the wise words of Feargal Sharkey.

I hear a lot of stories
I suppose they could be true
All about love
And what it can do to you

Highest risk of striking out
The risk of getting hurt
And still
I have so much to learn

Well, I know
'Cause I think about it all the time
I know
That real love has quite a price

And a good heart
These days, is hard to find
(A good heart)
True love, the lasting kind

A good heart
These days, is hard to find
So please be gentle with this heart of mine

My expectations may be high
I blamed it on my youth
Soon enough
I'll learned the painful truth

I'll face it like a fighter
Then boast of how I've grown
Anything is better
Than being alone

Well, I know
'Cause I learn a little every day
I know
'Cause I listen when the experts say

That a good heart
These days, is hard to find
(A good heart)
True love, the lasting kind

A good heart
These days, is hard to find
So please be gentle with this heart of mine

As I look back
On all my childhood dreams
My ideas of love weren't
As foolish as they seemed

If I don't start looking now
I'll be left behind
And a good heart these days
It's hard to find

Well, I know
It's a dream I'm willing to defend
I know
It will all be worth it in the end

And a good heart
These days, is hard to find
(A good heart)
True love, the lasting kind

A good heart
These days, is hard to find
So please be gentle with this heart of mine

And a good heart
These days, is hard to find
(A good heart)
True love, the lasting kind

A good heart
These days, is hard to find
So please be gentle with this heart
With this heart of mine

A good heart, a good heart
A good heart, a good heart
A good heart, a good heart
A good heart

Oombongo · Post by **Oombongo** » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:37 pm

irnbru wrote:For situations like this I think it's best to listen to the wise words of Feargal Sharkey.

..

In short and summarized version:

honestjeenn · Post by **honestjeenn** » Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:05 pm

We are fine already for 5 days... We are happy on my birthday.. And then he just have the terrible headache, communication is none anymore.

Rick1 · Post by **Rick1** » Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:21 pm

It is getting too far that taso arvo (different sex equality) here in Finland; man having headache?

onkko · Post by **onkko** » Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:19 pm

honestjeenn wrote:We are fine already for 5 days... We are happy on my birthday.. And then he just have the terrible headache, communication is none anymore.

So he cant have headache? Tell me his name and i will tell him that he should dump you as fast as he can.

honestjeenn · Post by **honestjeenn** » Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:34 am

Problem solved. He contacted me 3 days ago and he was in the hospital...

He have this broken veins on the brain.. He now recovering. Thanks a lot for the post reply..

AldenG · Post by **AldenG** » Mon Nov 25, 2013 8:09 am

Sorry to hear that. That was my first thought but I didn't want to be alarmist. I was hoping maybe it would "only" be a migraine instead.

If it wasn't related to use of drugs or certain herbs, a medication error, or really extreme behavior, hopefully his doctors have already recognized what this means (>90%) in a non-pregnant young person without the factors I mentioned. (You're both 20- or 30-something, right?) Most often it goes undiagnosed for many years or even a decade or two, but it's sort of hard to miss once a young person has a hemorrhagic stroke.

I really hope they don't merely get him recovered and send him home without an appropriate diagnosis and treatment plan. Like I say that's unlikely after this particular event, but I've "seen" it happen more than once in overworked hospitals.

Rick1 · Post by **Rick1** » Mon Nov 25, 2013 1:49 pm

Good luck, sorry for my joke with the info I received.

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