Concerned about treatment at Daycare

[bluemango]

I have a 2.5 year old who has been going to daycare for over a year now. She likes going there and generally I don't have problems. Six months ago, there has been a new nanny, who she is extremely uncomfortable with. I once witnessed her leaving my daughter completely alone while she threw a tantrum(I understand that there is not much you can do for a 2 year old's tantrum but walking away from them is something you shouldn't do). I always dismissed my daughter's dislike thinking I am biased because of that one incident. But today I was asking her to name people from her daycare's group photo and when I pointed at this nanny, my daughter went quiet and pale. I almost sensed fear. My husband who was with me also found her reaction extremely odd and unsettling. I know Finnish daycares are quiet nice and I don't know what to make of it, but I don't want to ignore it either. I don't know who to talk to without it reflecting in any way on my daughter. Any advice?

P.S. My daughter likes meeting new people, and the fact that she gets along fine with another nanny who joined even later speaks for it.

[bluemango]

Thanks! I think I will do that.

[onkko]

I once witnessed her leaving my daughter completely alone while she threw a tantrum

Of course she did, you dont want to teach children that tantrum is a way to get what she/he wants. Ignore tantrums and they learn its not effective and stop it.

[bluemango]

Thank you everyone for your advice.

I agree, anyone who has spent any time with kids knows that there is not much that can be done with a toddler throwing a tantrum, but like I said they shouldn't be left in a corner to cry it out. I usually sit beside my daughter, I make sure she knows I'm still there. Her nurse agrees that it's important she doesn't feel that she is ignored or alone. Also, yes we never know what strange reasons a child might have for their opinions and they swing quite easily.

I am not officially complaining for the time being, there is only a month left to her summer vacations. I will deal with this afterwards, if there still is something to be dealt with. Meanwhile, I hope that you are right and my suspicions are just me being an over protective mother.

[macora]

A child going quiet and pale over a mere photo is not about the person in the photo "walking away due to tantrum". But knowing what is going on is extremely difficult, and I for sure do not assume I do. Nothing in the OPs description made me think of an over-protective mother. And I have seen my share of those, I can assure you

Children's likes and dislikes are matter of minutes, keeps chaging, that nanny might be her best nanny after few months (who knows). just get along with it, every kids are different but if you interfare too much in their everything then it'd hamper their development, it'd make then too much dependent on you.

Children's likes and dislikes where it comes to persons are usually well-founded, and have reason. Whether you find it logical according to your grownup logic is another matter. And yes, over-protection is just as bad as neglect.

I am with Cory on this:

Do NOT sit back quietly if you suspect something's up at the daycare. Good luck!