child custody.

[pat jay]

hey guys some advice is needed.
i went through a bitter divorce last year and now my ex is threatning to take my little boy from me,is there anyone who has experience in this field.
i am looking for a good solicitor who will advise me in the right direction.
i see my son once every 2 weeks and i would want to see him more.
i am sick to my back teeth of going to these family social workers,they are bouncing me around all over town.
all i can hear from them is,sorry we can not help you with this.
to me this is bulls**t.
is this a commom problem in finland,you get married to a beautiful woman and then she turns into a monster and when you try to have a voice and an opinion,they take your child from you.
help

[Karibu]

In most cases social workers strongly support the woman. Man is almost always "guilty without charge" in these cases. I wonder if it has anything to do with the case, that majority of social workers are women... (okay, this is IMO, but it is based on documents I have seen on TV and general discussions I have seen over the web and newspapers). Anyway, first I suggest to contact daryl in this forum. He is expert on any legal advice. Second, some common sense. Get some device which can record all the conversations between you and your ex. If she directly tell you that she "claims that you abuse children only because she simply hates you so much", that is a nice piece of evidence if this case ever gets to court. It is pefectly legal to record your own conversations and you don't have to seek permission of that from another person.

Most of all, you must never be aggressive to anyone. That is the last thing you need. Good luck.

[pat jay]

are you @#$% nuts.
first of all i have no contact with my ex wife and recording her is a very stupid suggestion.what are you the f.b.i.
i simply asked for some help in finding a good family solictor.so if you know any let me know.
pj

[mumra]

are you @#$% nuts.
first of all i have no contact with my ex wife and recording her is a very stupid suggestion.what are you the f.b.i.
i simply asked for some help in finding a good family solictor.so if you know any let me know.
pj

Too many episodes of the wire

[pat jay]

too many people watch csi

[mumra]

http://www.ilaf.org/

[pat jay]

brill,thanks a lot.
please keep them coming.
pj

[superiorinferior]

first of all i have no contact with my ex wife

This might be your first problem.

How can you expect to share custody with someone who you do not speak with?

Remember, for all her (and your) faults, it is still your (collective) child that is in question. That horrible monster was good enough at one point to make another person(!) with, and if you can't find it in yourselves to get along enough to decide when and how the child should be taken care of, then neither of you deserve to be parents.

All this animosity hints of something more you are not revealing. The person who suggested recording her may have sounded wacky and paranoid, but there is good reason to perhaps consider the advice. If the horrible monster you procreated with is so unreasonable and mean and deceptive, you may be well within your moral rights to record her.

If she is reasonable, then why all the fuss?

As for solicitors, there's always the Yellow Pages.

[Karibu]

Most of all, you must never be aggressive to anyone. That is the last thing you need. Good luck.

are you @#$% nuts.

[ronrubies]

Unfortunately this is a very common occurence in Finland and I speak from personal experience. I suggest you call Miessakit, a men's advocacy group. They will have some referrals for you. Here is a link:
http://www.miessakit.fi/index.php?mid=10

[littlefrank]

'In most cases social workers strongly support the woman.'

I didn't experience this myself I always found the social workers to be helpful even though I do not speak Finnish.


'went through a bitter divorce last year and now my ex is threatning to take my little boy from me,is there anyone who has experience in this field. '

She cannot do this without a very good reason, i.e. you are a danger to the child.

The courts in Finland will grant fair and just access based on the court social workers reports, the court social workers will do their best to try and get the parents to come to an agreement out of court (happened in my case).

Do nothing that will inflame the situation, e.g. trying to tape your ex.

Try to keep calm, the process is slow and frustrating at times.

Above all remember your childs feelings, he loves your ex, he loves you, it is not his fault that you two did not get on, so don't let your feelings show when you are with him.

I went through all this myself and my feelings towards my ex, are unprintable, but we go to family counselling together, I ask my daughter how her mother is, I tell my daughter that her mother loves her etc, because it's important that my daughter doesn't become a tug of love child, and a victim of our animosity towards each other.