Baby´s sleeping, Need Help!

[newmummy]

Hi! Our baby girl is 7 month. Recently she wakes up so often during the night, we can not sleep at all. Any parents had same kind of experence, Please help us!
She has never been difficult. normally she is happy and easy. Her first tooth came when she was almost 6 month. Now she has 2.
About 1 months ago I was looking after her all by muself, so I put her sleeping next to me in our bed. she wakes up sometimes during the night but it was ok, I didnt have to stand up, normally I just breast feed her them she goes back to sleep.
Now she sleeps in her own bed next to us. In day time she takes two naps, one in the morning the other in the afternoon. All together about 3 hours. She goes to sleep at night around 8,30 to 9 o’clock. But almost every 1 hour she wakes up. She keeps turning herself trying to find a comfortable position always want to be on her side, but normally she fall on her back or on her belly, then she starts to cry. Every time when this happens I have to hold her up to calm her. She is quite tired during the night and wanting to sleep. Sometimes this happens to the day time nap too. She wakes up totally around 5,30 to 6 o’clock in the morning. Recently she is waking up so often that I couldn’t sleep at all. Why is this happen to her? What can we do to stop it?

[Mook]

Maybe she's hungry - does she still get all her nutrician from breast-feeding?

[littlefrank]

' so I put her sleeping next to me in our bed. she wakes up sometimes during the night but it was ok, I didnt have to stand up, normally I just breast feed her them she goes back to sleep... Now she sleeps in her own bed next to us. She keeps turning herself trying to find a comfortable position always want to be on her side, but normally she fall on her back or on her belly, then she starts to cry.'

Sounds like she's turning over in bed looking for you to breast feed her, have you tried a dummy (pacifier).we were not going to use one with our daughter but we soon changed our minds on that issue.

[newmummy]

Except breast milk she gets formula and solid food since she was 4 month. She eats well. I don’t think she is hungry. She does not accept pacifier.

[littlefrank]

How long is it since she slept next to you, was it recent? My nephew and his partner had a similar problem with their baby when it got it's own bed, the mid wife told them not to immediately go to the baby when it woke up but to leave the baby alone for ten minutes and then go, they thought it a bit cruel but it worked.

'She does not accept pacifier'

That's not a bad thing constant use of a pacifier can lead to problems, which is why we didn't want to give one to our daughter, we only gave our daughter it as a last resort.

http://www.babycenter.com.au/baby/daily ... &pacifiers

[newmummy]

She slept next to me for almost 2 month. It has been 2 weeks since we put her in her own bed. But when she was next to me she already started to turn herself very often. At that time I did calm her immediately with breast feeding, she fall back to sleep very fast. Now I try not to feed her at night hoping she can sleep straight whole night. But she just keep turning and waking up.

[Sara]

I think she is waking because youre not there and she is used that.

You need to try controlled crying, its hard but let her cry for a while when she wakes up. She will settle again and the time crying will become less. She will soon learn to settle herself.

[newmummy]

ok, we will try that. Its gonna be hard for us since she never cry too much. Thanks a lot!

[Jucus]

Hi,
we had exactly the same situation with our son! We moved here when he was 6 months old, and had his own room, and the problems started.
First we tried to wake up each time, to make him sure that we were there, he can receive breast, if he wants, but we tried to calm him without breast. No pacifier, doesnt accept it, and i dont like it also.
We were doing it for 1,5 weeks, and didnt work, it was even worse. We became VERY tired.
Than i said, i want to sleep, and if the only way is to sleep together, than lets do it. But we moved his bed right to our, we opened the two beds together, so we made a big family bed. Everyone was sleeping!
In the first week he woke up about 3 times per night, but when he was sure, that i was there, and everything is fine, then he woke up only once, or slept through the nights.
When he turned 1 i decided to try to take him to his room again. We put a matrrace (is it written like this?:) on the ground, it was easier for all of us, he couldnt fall down, and he had bigger space to move. First he spent only the afternoon naps there, and after few days he went there for the nights too, by himself. So everyone was happy again, he woke only once, we could sleep pretty much.
Now he is 20 months old, and the problems started again, he spent almost the whole night in our bed. And still the breast is what calms him the best.
Few days ago we bought a real bigboy bed for him, i thought, that maybe he wants to sleep in a place like ours, now he is mature enough to see, that we have a bed, and he sleeps on the ground.
And, well, it seems to work! We bought the bed, with nice textiles in it, like a real bed, and he slept through the second night! Wondering what will come next, but now it seems to work, he loves it, and on the first night he wanted to sleep in it!
You have to know, that i never let him cry, i totally disagree with "let the baby cry for few mins, and than he will learn to fall asleep". I think if you let him cry, than he learns only that nobody listens to him. Letting a baby cry or not would worth a new post.
So, i just say that you have to be patient if you would like to do it in a peaceful way.
Sorry for being so long

[Sara]

I dont agree with that. A baby cries and you go running everytime, they are going to keep crying just because they dont want to be in the situation. The baby is telling you what to do!
Of course you go straight away because baby needs changing, is hungry, scared etc but as a parent you learn to recognise what the crying is for.

We arent talking about leaving the baby crying for hours on end. You start by leaving them 5 minutes, going to make them calm, they go back to sleep. You slowely progress leaving the time gap bigger, soon enough you dont even need to go anymore and can have some rest yourself. Its not easy, no one likes to hear their child crying, but it will work.

[Rosamunda]

I'm with Sara on this one. It is not cruel to leave a baby to cry for a few minutes. If you run to a baby or a toddler every time it so much as whines or whimpers then it will quickly understand that s/he is able to control you. As a parent you lose your authority and your credibility. As a long term strategy it stinks.... Believe me. I have three teenagers. If I had no authority I would be in very deep poo-poo.

newmummy: when was the last time your baby had a checkup? It is always a good idea to talk through these things with a paediatrician or a health visitor. Th baby might be having ear problems, or if she is really having problems teething then the doctor could recommend some soothing gum creams etc.

[Jucus]

I see, im alone with my opinion, but i still believe, that you mustnt leave a baby cry. Not talking about a toddler, who cries for cookies or just because, im talking about babies.
I ve read several times about it (sorry, i can tell only hungarian links, it may take time to find english ones), and i ve read everywhere, that its not good to leave cry. Than the baby gets disappointed, cause crying is his only language. If you dont pay attention to it, then he will think that you dont care, so he ll be disappointed and wont trust you. And babies are not crying just because its fun, they always have a reason. Wet diaper, hunger, thirst, or just because its dark and they are alone. They cant calm themselves, they need you to calm.

But of course everyone raises their child as he/she wants to, im just telling my opinion. And i think im out of this debate, im sure that i cant change your minds, and you wont change mine, it has no point to deate.

Btw, have you read this crying method in the whisperer?

[jen]

You are not alone. I have never used the controlled crying method. Baby stops crying because the learn you are not coming and I felt it was more important for my daughter to feel secure and know we are there if she needs us that to be the boss or be in control. This is not to say that she controls us either. I have never read any books on child rearing or parenting instead I rely on instinct. My body, my heart and my daughter have guided me. Most of us have a maternal instinct to go to our child when they cry.

[ScubaGirl]

I also DISAGREE with the "cry it out" method. I was soooooooo desperate for sleep after 4 months, that I finally tried this method out as a last resort. It completely broke my heart to hear my daughter cry like that. It also made my night even worse than it had been if I had just fed her & let her fall back to sleep with a bottle in her mouth. I also felt so guilty in the morning. I suppose it works for some parents, but I just wasn't strong enough to endure that and it seemed so cruel to let my daughter cry that way, when I could've just comforted her with some milk.

I got a lot of different advice from many mothers (much like you're getting here), but at the end of the day you have to do what suits you and your individual situation best and just follow your own instincts. Every baby is different, and what works for one family might not work for yours, but of course when you're desperate you need to try everything you can.

What worked for me.... I decided to give my daughter water instead of milk when she woke up in the middle of the night and after a few sips, she'd push it away and go back to sleep after a little bit of whining (but not crying). After 2 nights she slept 11 hours without waking up and now she's been sleeping 11-12 hours every night for over a month. She'll soon be 10 months old and I'm finally getting some sleep myself.

Be strong and don't worry because this WILL end one day. Even though it seems like you'll be tired forever, it WILL get better. Your baby WILL sleep through the night eventually. It WILL happen. I didn't believe it when this was said to me, but it's true!

Btw, maybe your baby is teething? My daughter woke up more than usual when she was teething.

[oompah18]

I beg to differ with some of you, I would just put the baby back into your bed with you, & breastfeed her on demand (I am sorry I didn´t understand if you were feeding her both formula & breastmilk), it may just be a phase she is going through - you can´t MAKE babies sleep through, but you can make it less stressful for you both. I know it seems like the longest night of your life, when the baby wakes so often, but it doesn´t last for ever. Have you ever carried the baby in a wrap (kantoliina) or sling (rengasliina) during the day/evening? This really relaxed my lil ones before bed time & made bedtime a lot more peaceful when they were smaller. In the daytime, try to nap when she naps - forget the housework! I coslept with ds3 who was just like this, & when I stopped breastfeeding at 1 year, he went straight into his own toddler bedin his brothers´room, & rarely wakes at night, except for teething or smelly nappy
What ever happens, good luck.
Remember you are not alone, most babies under 1 year don´t sleep all night, but my 3 & 4 yr olds both sleep 12 hrs or more every night, rarely waking, so all those bad nights when they were teeny were worth it!