I need advice urgent about my situation please

[mCowboy]

I have my opinions, which some people may not like, but I don't push those to others, but at least I try to help as much as I can. I don't attack people unprovoked (unlike you) and try to remain civil, whereas you start to get personal right away (as seen in the previous threads with you).

Good that you have it sorted so clearly mCowboy! Much better a person than I am. Well done.

The martyr role doesn't suit you.

[Pavlor]

I have my opinions, which some people may not like, but I don't push those to others, but at least I try to help as much as I can. I don't attack people unprovoked (unlike you) and try to remain civil, whereas you start to get personal right away (as seen in the previous threads with you).

Good that you have it sorted so clearly mCowboy! Much better a person than I am. Well done.

The martyr role doesn't suit you.

Nothing martyr about me, mCowboy. Just commenting on your last post. Glad you have it all sorted out!

PS. Everything you posted about me (insightfully so, may I add ) would also apply to you and a few others, minus the "intellectual" part I would, however, say. Birds of a feather flock together and all that.

[mCowboy]

Good that you have it sorted so clearly mCowboy! Much better a person than I am. Well done.

The martyr role doesn't suit you.

Nothing martyr about me, mCowboy. Just commenting on your last post. Glad you have it all sorted out!

PS. Everything you posted about me (insightfully so, may I add ) would also apply to you and a few others, minus the "intellectual" part I would, however, say. Birds of a feather flock together and all that.

maybe, except that some people actually are trying to help others (unlike you apparently).

[donald]

Wow what a thread! I haven't read all the posts, but some things came up to my mind I think worth tomention that maybe have not yet been said here:

About your residence permit: As far as I know, one can obtain a residence permit based on family ties. Now even if your wife divorces from you, but your child will still be in Finland? Your child is a member of your family living in Finland with finnish citizenship, isn't it?

And: No matter how much your wife urges you, do not work on the black market!!! Because *then* your odds of getting a residence permit and not being deported to Cuba could sink close to zero. If your wife is as crazy as you describe, she could even ask you purposely to do illegal stuff so she can tell the police and she'll get rid of you.

[Pavlor]

Wow what a thread! I haven't read all the posts, but some things came up to my mind I think worth tomention that maybe have not yet been said here:

About your residence permit: As far as I know, one can obtain a residence permit based on family ties. Now even if your wife divorces from you, but your child will still be in Finland? Your child is a member of your family living in Finland with finnish citizenship, isn't it?

And: No matter how much your wife urges you, do not work on the black market!!! Because *then* your odds of getting a residence permit and not being deported to Cuba could sink close to zero. If your wife is as crazy as you describe, she could even ask you purposely to do illegal stuff so she can tell the police and she'll get rid of you.

This was what I was thinking Donald. The woman sounds crazy enough and had repeatedly asked the guy to work on the black market. Now, to the best of my understanding, many Finns do not support black market work, and I found this a little suspicious.

How does residency work if you are married to a Finn?

[Hank W.]

How does residency work if you are married to a Finn?

Well, for a non-EU... You have an excuse to apply in Finland. (With the old law it was "go back home and apply"). Then the part of actually *Getting* a residence permit... it isn't automagical - they have a bit of a bad habit of questioning motives - hot items found on a holiday don't have a good ring. Neither do catalog finds.

Then when you get it, you're you're eligible to work etc. without hassles - in other words free to go hear the "no" - that is if you get the time of day. Basically after the first permit it works like any other category. One year first etc. Theres the small print at http://www.uvi.fi Also getting the citizenship theres some advantages being married vs. on other residency.

[Sara]

About your residence permit: As far as I know, one can obtain a residence permit based on family ties. Now even if your wife divorces from you, but your child will still be in Finland? Your child is a member of your family living in Finland with finnish citizenship, isn't it?

The problem in this case though is that he isnt able to support himself. Currently his wife is doing that and it had been claimed so in the application.

Cant get a job without a permit, cant have a permit without the job/income/savings.

[Zakaria]

I CALLED THE LEGAL AID AGAIN , I AM SAFE NOT BE KICKED OUT , BUT MY CASE SI WEAK CUZ I DONT HAVE THE PERMIT OF THE YEAR YET....IF I AM GIVEN THE PERMIT FOR YEAR , AND THE BABE IS BORN THEN WILLBE EASY FOR ME TO STAY IN FINLAND WITH OUT ANY HASSLES ...EVEN SHE DIVORCE ME I WILL STILL BE ABLE TO STAY APPLYING UNDER FAMILY ...REUNION. BUT MY CASE IS I DONT HAVE ANY PERMIT YET I AM STILL WAITING FOR DECISION FROM THE POLICE ....SO I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT LETTER....I PHONED THE POLICE AND THEY SAY THEY HAVE TO MUCH WORK AND I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THEY MAKE DECISION AND THEY WILL SENDME A LETTER....I ASKED HOW LONG THEY SAID THEY DID NOT ANSWER ...SO I AM STILL WAITING ....REGARDING THE WIFE I AM TRYING MY BEST TO KEEP HER HAPPY ....IS NOT ONLY FOR THAT , I HAVE GENUINE INTENTION FOR THIS MARRIAGE ....I WOULD LOVE HER TO CHANGE AND BE NORMAL AS THAT BABE NEED BOTH OF PARENS...AND WE CAN STAY HAPPY ALL FAMILY.
LATELY SHE IS ACTING STRANGE ......SHE ALWAYS HAS EXUSE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE , WHERE DOES SHE GO , I HAVE NO IDEA , HER EXUSE MY FRIEND MOTHER IS ILL AND I HELP HER TO LOOK AFTER HER KIDS....I ASKE WHY THEIR MOTHER NOT TO LOOK AFTER , SHE SAYS WELL SHE GOES ANS HELP HER MOTHER WHO ILLL....BUT THE SAD NEWS IS THAT HER FRIEND DOESNT GO TO LOOK AFTER HER MOTHER , APPARENTLY SHE WORKS SOMEWHERE CLOSE TO WHERE I LIVE....
YESTERDAY THEY CAME BOTH OF THEM TO THE HOUSE AND I WAS ASKED TO MAKE COFFEE FOR THEM AND THEY GIVE ME THAT FALSE SMILE.....BUT I HAD TO WAT I HAD TO DO....I MAKE THEM COFFEE....AND MY WIFE GOES , I AM GONA BE VERY BUSY THIS DAYS AS MY FRIEND MOTHER IS SICK....VERY STRANGE ..........
VERY STRANGE ACTING INFRONT FO MY OWN EYES..........I WONT SAY TO HER , HEY LISTEN WHY U KEEP LIYING , I SEEN UR FRIEND WORKING AND SHE WAS NOT HELPING HER MOTHER , WAKE UP DONT LIE ANY MORE LOOK AT UR SELF IN THE MIRROR....BUT IF I DO THAT I WILL MAKE HER FEEL LIAR AND BAD AND SHE WILL WANT BAD FOR ME.....SO I WONT DO THAT ...I AM WISE MAN ....I WONT NVER EMBARRASSE HER AND OR CAUSE ANY ARGUMENT ....BECAUSE YOU NVER WIN AN ARGUMENT ....LET'S SAY I PROVED HER A LIAR WAT IS THE OUTCOME?
I KEEP CALM AND THIS ALL OF THE SAKE OF THAT BABE.......
SOMETIME I TIHNK MAY BE I AM STRANGE CUZ I DONT DRINK AND I DONT SMOKE ....I AM WONDERING I START TO GET DRUNK AND SMOKE ...WILL SHE LOVE ME FOR THAT?WHY I SHOULD CHANGE MY SELF?THAT IS WHY IS GOOD TO RECEIVE SUPPORT AND OPINION FROM OTHER PEOPLE AND U WONT TIHNK U R STRANGE AND U GO CRAZY ...
I AM SURE THEY ARE OTHER PPLE OUT THERE LIKE MY SELF WHO DONT DRINK OR SMOKE....WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?
I HAVE LOT OF PROJECT AND PLANS FOR MY BABE IF BORN , I WANT HIM OR HER TO BE SPORTIF ATLETIC...TEACH HIM HEALTHY THINGS .....I WANT TO DO A LOT FOR HIM OR HER ....I AM NOT BOTHERED IF GIRL OR BOY ....ALL IS GOOD .....ALL THAT COME FROM GOD IS BLESSING.............
WELL GUYS..........I HAVE TO STOP FOR NOW AND I WILL UPDATE U MORE ABOUT MY SITUAITON .....
ALSO IF U GUYS DONT SEEME TYPING HERE FOR CERTAIN TIME THAT MEANS MAYBE SHE STOP THE INTERT OR DEPORTED .........BUT IF I AM DEPORTED I WILL DEFINETLY TYPIE IT FROM BACK HOME .

[easily-lost]

I wonder how come there are so many Finnish women have mental illness... I know three in real life. Scary!

[Pavlor]

I wonder how come there are so many Finnish women have mental illness... I know three in real life. Scary!

Mental illness? Well, as I've said before, we don't know the whole story re this Zakaria...

Maybe the woman just changed her mind and doesn't really like the guy, despite shagging him, getting married to him and now carrying his spawn. The guy needs to walk away from that relationship *FOR* the sake of the child. And you do not need two parents to bring up a child in a safe and loving environment, especially if the parents hate each other and/or are complete nutters.

We don't know the full story.

[mCowboy]

there's three sides to every story... yours, mine and the truth...


(very profound)...

[easily-lost]

I'd like to hear Mr. Z's wife's version of the story someday if possible, but I really doubt about that.

Anyway, sad or even bad things do happen in real life, and the key point is how to fix them afterwards. It's really a shame that a small life is involved in before it sees the world.

I just hope you two can sit down and talk like two responsible grown-ups, other than two teenagers who still play this sort of "games of emotions". The child's interest is the most important!

Btw, if your wife does have mental illness (other than small metal problems), maybe it's a good thing for not having this child. It may sound cruel, but you don't want to see your child suffering the same thing for their whole life like your wife has, do you?

[Pavlor]

there's three sides to every story... yours, mine and the truth...


(very profound)...

As always, mCowboy...

But very true indeed. Not to be sniffed at, at all.

[Pavlor]

Btw, if your wife does have mental illness (other than small metal problems), maybe it's a good thing for not having this child. It may sound cruel, but you don't want to see your child suffering the same thing for their whole life like your wife has, do you?

Well, that would wipe out most of potential Finnish parents then.

Mental illness is often treatable and should not deny anyone the right of being a parent.

What you just said is on a par with eugenics, Easil-lost...

[easily-lost]

Everyone has the right to be a parent, but whether they are qualified or not is another story.

So, in order to protect our selfish "rights", we don't have to care about those children-to-be-born's future?

Like I said, mental PROBLEMS are not the same case as mental ILLNESSES, it will pass on to their kids through genes and not curable so far.

If you want to create a new life, you should be aware that you will be responsible for it. It's a responsibility forever. Anyhow, what I said doesn't help with the original poster as it's too late obviously, that's why I suggest he should think of a way to solve the problems as soon as possible, especially with the baby!