I need advice urgent about my situation please

[Krista]

I just read today on the Finland Immigration site that you can get residency or citizenship if you have a child that is a Finnish citizen, so once your baby is born, they are of course automatically a Finnish citizen, so you will then be able to apply for residency or citizenship, I can't remember exactly which one. Here is the website so you can find it out for yourself:

http://www.migri.fi/netcomm/default.asp

[ronrubies]

Sorry about your situation. This type of thing has happened before. As a foreigner and as a father (i.e. not the mother) you are at a clear disadvantage. Unfortunately, I have had a similar experience, though not the same. Also from my own experience, I suggest you call the men's advocacy group Miessakit:
http://www.miessakit.fi/fi/in_english
They can give you some advice and refer you to some very experienced lawyers.
Good luck.
Ron

[Zakaria]

thanks guys for your support!!

where did you see that informaiton about that if youhave a child in finland u can get residency please sendme the link as i was looking but i couldnot find.

Is it good idea to figh for custody of the child not or leave it until i get my residency first????????

I was told not to make any problems now with her as is not good for my record with police to see i have problems with her...i dunno if this true or not.

what they do about the name of the child in finland? religion?
does she have right to name her child anythign she want with out me been there?
she refused that i go to hospital to attend the birth of our child and she gaveme no reasons....

so now i am worried that she want to name a child and do wat ever she want with my absence there.....
is it good to go there even she refused me to go?

anyone can help please?

[Zakaria]

thanks guys for your support!!

where did you see that informaiton about that if youhave a child in finland u can get residency please sendme the link as i was looking but i couldnot find.

Is it good idea to figh for custody of the child not or leave it until i get my residency first????????

I was told not to make any problems now with her as is not good for my record with police to see i have problems with her...i dunno if this true or not.

what they do about the name of the child in finland? religion?
does she have right to name her child anythign she want with out me been there?
she refused that i go to hospital to attend the birth of our child and she gaveme no reasons....

so now i am worried that she want to name a child and do wat ever she want with my absence there.....
is it good to go there even she refused me to go?

anyone can help please?

[EP]

is it good to go there even she refused me to go?

They will not let you in if she refuses. BUT I cannot see how they could stop you AFTER the baby is born. Not to see her, but to see the baby .

Yes, she can name the baby whatever she wishes. Don´t become troublesome, just try to take care that you get proper visitation rights.

[Faithful]

Zacharia i would advise to find a refugee and immigration adviser am studying to be one of them he or she will take details of your problems and will advise you accordingly following the FINNISH Aliens act if your issue is a court issue they will get you a lawyer the international christian center in HELSINKI has lawyers who represent Immigrants and refugees incase of an any legal issue a Refugee and Immigration adviser will advise you and ensure that you abide by the law of your host country and NO one exploits you either emotionally physically or also with employment on more information ZACCARIA and any others who are in any dilemma contact me i will HELP or advise you to where you could seek HELP
See you around

[Zakaria]

THANK YOU GUYS. so far iwas not called by court , i only was called by police and told them everything about my situation.I was advised not to have any conflict with my ex wife as she can makeme suffer and have bad record with police. i was told if i am divorced peacefully then i will have more chance in getting my residency i dunno if that one is true or not.
she will never tellme which day she is going to hospital to give birth , not either her self will know when she due for birth eactly day time etc.that means i may miss out in being there in the hospital i know i dont have to see her but i dont know wat she can create as lie if i amnot there , she may use it against me ....to tell them i did not turn up and i did not have interest in childnow i hear rumours from pple that she wanted to escape to sweden and take a child a way with her , i dunno if is true or not as i dont know where she lives , i don tknow her mobile ....nothing she disappeared , i dont even know if she still in finland or is true that she flee to sweden to take a child away with her....
exuse my french but i am bloody feed up with this stress , why she is not normal person and live life normal like married couple and raise children , why she had plan for this to use me only to get children , ..i know she did that cuz she wanted to get custody of the child and easier to get it from foreigner man ...with finnish man can not do that as she lost the custody inthe past already .......wat @#$% mentality ..to get a child to stay in benefit so she can use gvt to get money .............she mademe suffer and i am wondering wat type of life she will have in the future wat hidden for her as she is really bad person , she is evil , she hurtsme so much ...
any way enough of her...........now when i hear many advices i do get confused ...some pple say find a foreigner lawyer better for me , other say find male lawyer better for me .....as the women always side up with the women and finnish citizen side up with their own pple...i dunno who to beleive ...other say dont do anything now until u r told ur residency is revoked .........other say dont have anyproblem with her so u wont have problem with residency ....................
i am in a circle of full information which oe si true i have no idea
i kow in my interview with police i rang lawyer to come with me they all say just go by ur self ..as i dont need lawyer as this stage ................so what si goinggggggggggg on?
i amsure some pple who come to see this forum have similar experience i would lvoe to hear othe rpple opinion and share their experiecen with me so we learn from our experiences ................waiting for ur comments!!
cheers

[mCowboy]

T
exuse my french but i am bloody feed up with this stress , why she is not normal person and live life normal like married couple and raise children

ah, aren't those Finnish women just like lil' angels...

[Faithful]

THANK YOU GUYS. so far iwas not called by court , i only was called by police and told them everything about my situation.I was advised not to have any conflict with my ex wife as she can makeme suffer and have bad record with police. i was told if i am divorced peacefully then i will have more chance in getting my residency i dunno if that one is true or not.
she will never tellme which day she is going to hospital to give birth , not either her self will know when she due for birth eactly day time etc.that means i may miss out in being there in the hospital i know i dont have to see her but i dont know wat she can create as lie if i amnot there , she may use it against me ....to tell them i did not turn up and i did not have interest in childnow i hear rumours from pple that she wanted to escape to sweden and take a child a way with her , i dunno if is true or not as i dont know where she lives , i don tknow her mobile ....nothing she disappeared , i dont even know if she still in finland or is true that she flee to sweden to take a child away with her....
exuse my french but i am bloody feed up with this stress , why she is not normal person and live life normal like married couple and raise children , why she had plan for this to use me only to get children , ..i know she did that cuz she wanted to get custody of the child and easier to get it from foreigner man ...with finnish man can not do that as she lost the custody inthe past already .......wat @#$% mentality ..to get a child to stay in benefit so she can use gvt to get money .............she mademe suffer and i am wondering wat type of life she will have in the future wat hidden for her as she is really bad person , she is evil , she hurtsme so much ...
any way enough of her...........now when i hear many advices i do get confused ...some pple say find a foreigner lawyer better for me , other say find male lawyer better for me .....as the women always side up with the women and finnish citizen side up with their own pple...i dunno who to beleive ...other say dont do anything now until u r told ur residency is revoked .........other say dont have anyproblem with her so u wont have problem with residency ....................
i am in a circle of full information which oe si true i have no idea
i kow in my interview with police i rang lawyer to come with me they all say just go by ur self ..as i dont need lawyer as this stage ................so what si goinggggggggggg on?
i amsure some pple who come to see this forum have similar experience i would lvoe to hear othe rpple opinion and share their experiecen with me so we learn from our experiences ................waiting for ur comments!!
cheers

Zakaria what is wrong with you did you read my post there if you need advise contact me i may be in a position to help remember you are an immigrant and however stressful you are you must be ware of what the host country's Aliens acts says so you don't break the law and also no one takes advantage of you due to ignorance.
Take care

[Zakaria]

hello faithful

do you have msn ? ????????

sendme ur msn in private ok?and i will give u mine too.

[Flossy1978]

Ok, we only know your side of the story. We don't know if you are the nutjob and she's just trying to get away from you.

Your ex doesn't have to tell you she's going into labour, nor does she need to even let you into the hospital to be with her.

I don't think there's too much you can do in regards to the child until the child is actually born. And even then, I don't think any court is going to take a newborn away from it's mother and give it to the father, nor let a newborn be alone with the father, especially if the parents are divorcing, the father is an immigrant or the mother is breastfeeding.

Everybody has told you to get a lawyer, to go see one and see what can be done. Stop relying on everyone to help you. HELP YOURSELF!

[rinso]

Relax Zakaria.
You have problems with your wife, but not with the police or the Finnish state.
There is a process of paperwork. It's boring and burocratic, but it is not meant to hurt you.
Trust your lawyer. He will help you and not side with the opposite party.

[Zakaria]

Hello everyone
i am separated from my wife for the last 5 months, now she gave birth to the child , is she allowed to name a child any name she wants with out my consent ?or do i have right by law to share my opinion about naming a child?
how the couple solve this problem specially if the coupe are from different religions?
another question , when i got married to my wife she changed her family for my surname , since my separation 5 months ago can she change again her family name to her old one during our separation? the reason i say this i am only worried that she will give her family name only to our child......
she went to hospital and gave birth to our child , but she did not inform , it was only her friend who advised regarding this.then i called the hospital and asked and they put me through to her and she was angry that i heard news about the new born child.she is planning TRICK to kick me out of our child life... please everyone advise....
As father of the child what type of right do i have? advice please....
thank you

[Sara]

As far as Im aware she can call the child exactly what she wants.

Once the child is born the magistrate sends the paperwork to the home address for the name information. I think both me and my husband signed it, but if your seperated I think only the mother would need to.

[RA]

Oh gosh! I just only read through this thread now and this sounds sooo wierd. If you didn't say you were Cuban I could have sworn I know you, since a friend of mine has been going through something sort of similar.

It's basically the story of a Caribbian girl once married to a Finnish man, had a child, divorced but they share custody, she got together with a Eritrean man, I like to call the nightmare and after a couple of years of lots of downs and a few ups, she got pregnant. Man decides he doesn't want any change to his life and plans and even one time after she asked him for some help with buying a pram, he tells her to go to the social office. Note they both work. She gets by on her own without his help. He is not supportive at all during her pregnancy and is abusive in more ways than one. He takes off for the States 3 months before she's due and was not there for the birth. His sister, who never once during the preganancy called, appeared at the hospital after we sent information about the baby's birth and then she declared in front of all the visitors there that the baby's name is dadadada. We were like WTF?! Anyhoos... the baby was named recently and she got one of the names given by the sister. The father has still not come to see the child and has sent one package. The lady is registered as the sole custodian of the child, they were not even married and he's not here to declare paternity and I doubt he ever will. He had said that he does not want the child christened, but this was totally disregarded and I don't think he has any right to demand anything given his behavior in the past. The baby's surname was quite an ironic issue: the baby cannot have the surname of the father since he's not legally in the picture, the lady has a surname with a hypen ( her maiden name hypen her ex-husband's name). Her first child has the surname of the father i.e. the ex-husband. The baby's surname apparently cannot be, according to Finnish law, the maiden name of the mother, but only the surname of the ex-husband.

I don't know if your story is legit but a lot of things seem off....