Support for single mothers

[Tiwaz]

Pia, think hard. You want to import hubby-to-be from Indonesia to Finland. You do not think he has issues with language. Are you realistic in your expectations?

If he breezed through english or some other widely used language, it is not sign that he will easily learn Finnish.

And without skills in Finnish and ability to present himself properly in Finnish context he will not get jobs easily. He will end up sitting at home, becoming bitter for his failure to make it and it WILL strain your relationship.

Perhaps to point where being single mom is more permanent status than you think now.

Then again, if your plan is to leave soon after getting child and getting all the benefits from healthcare system.... I am tempted to be at same line of thought as Onkko. There is hardly need for people who only come to Finland to suck up benefits and then leave without giving back anything. Be they Finns or not.

[Pursuivant]

lets say Onkko is actually my parents generation and speaks straight and I find it more worse if people think like that and smile outside and stab you in the back. then again I was in the same situation as Pia in 1994 when I graduated and there was no jobs in Finland so if I hadn't done some choices coming back I might be in the same situation... as to the multicultural aspect theres been more philippine brides here, so a bloke is looked at maybe two times, but then again theres no negative ballast as might be to some other peoples. getting a job for him though might be 1994 all over again.

the answer that is going to be most benefical to Pia is not what she wants to hear. someone has to tell her the nasty stuff...

[enk]

I can guess quite well where onkko is coming from. He sounds like a peräkammarinpoika
whose mail-order bride ran screaming into the night when she finally made it here from
whatever far-off land she came from. And yes, I think his answer the way it was worded was
quiet uncalled for, as was the second sentence in this paragraph.

I think there comes a time when people realize they want to be somewhere else than where
they're at in life. For some it is a geographic problem, for others it manifests itself in other
ways. Some people want to be closer to their family when a child is on its way, some want
to be farther away. If no one could move back home after they've been away, this would be a
sad, sad world IMO, even sadder than it already is. The reasons why we leave our home
are myriad, and the reasons why we want to (or not) come home are as diverse. And a dose of
reality doesn't have to be cruel, which is exactly the tone this thread is taking.

-enk

[EP]

I spent years abroad when I was young. It didn´t even cross my mind that somebody could have something against my moving back to Finland, and starting to live just like I had never left.

[Iseult]

I don't mean to go down the onkko lane, but... OP is asking about support for single mums, yet she's got a fiancé? I'm a bit confused. Is she single or not?

[Pia]

Single mother, until my fiancee can get a visa and join me in Finland. It could well be he will have to stay in the UK, in that case I will be very much single.

Lots of good advice, I hear what you guys are saying, thank you, appreciate it.

[Karhunkoski]

I can't understand why you don't want to be with your man, and have him by your side to love and support you through the pregnancy and afterwards. I can't help but think that if I was in your situation I would choose to be with my partner over all else, no matter where they were. But I'm male and have (oddly) never been pregnant, so I probably don't have a clue.

[onkko]

I can guess quite well where onkko is coming from. He sounds like a peräkammarinpoika
whose mail-order bride ran screaming into the night when she finally made it here from
whatever far-off land she came from. And yes, I think his answer the way it was worded was
quiet uncalled for, as was the second sentence in this paragraph.

I think there comes a time when people realize they want to be somewhere else than where
they're at in life. For some it is a geographic problem, for others it manifests itself in other
ways. Some people want to be closer to their family when a child is on its way, some want
to be farther away. If no one could move back home after they've been away, this would be a
sad, sad world IMO, even sadder than it already is. The reasons why we leave our home
are myriad, and the reasons why we want to (or not) come home are as diverse. And a dose of
reality doesn't have to be cruel, which is exactly the tone this thread is taking.

-enk

Thank your thoughtfull psykiatric analyziz

I dont think social security is for that when you think its better than "abroad", think that before you leave. And as you saw that was total fraud about "single mom". I do like social secity and support it but not like this.
And my mailorder fiancee didnt run (seems you can do unconsious order in same time you born) and i did move out of my home on age of 18 and since then i got total 200e of help from my parents. Detached peräkammari?
And yes i have used social security and church help but i have paid more than enough on them.

[raamv]

I think that Onkko crossed the line on this one!!
Pia, I would follow Hank's advise and get married in UK, register the marriage and find a way for your BF to learn Finnish fast and integrate here..
Meanwhile, Finland will be grateful for nurses when they do come back!!
Tervetuloa Sumoea taas!! Suomi on sinun maa!!

[onkko]

I think that Onkko crossed the line on this one!!
Pia, I would follow Hank's advise and get married in UK, register the marriage and find a way for your BF to learn Finnish fast and integrate here..
Meanwhile, Finland will be grateful for nurses when they do come back!!
Tervetuloa Sumoea taas!! Suomi on sinun maa!!

Uuh i crossed the line when people ask how to cheat wellfare, and no its not his country if he fleed and worked somewhere else and just come here to take a birth
I have admit that nurses in finland have !"#¤% job situation but after that long time... naah.
If she plans to stay and work as nurse then welcome.
(not mine to judge so finland will say welcome anyway, just dont tell your story to all)

[raamv]

I think that Onkko crossed the line on this one!!
Pia, I would follow Hank's advise and get married in UK, register the marriage and find a way for your BF to learn Finnish fast and integrate here..
Meanwhile, Finland will be grateful for nurses when they do come back!!
Tervetuloa Sumoea taas!! Suomi on sinun maa!!

Uuh i crossed the line when people ask how to cheat wellfare, and no its not his country if he fleed and worked somewhere else and just come here to take a birth
I have admit that nurses in finland have !"#¤% job situation but after that long time... naah.
If she plans to stay and work as nurse then welcome.
(not mine to judge so finland will say welcome anyway, just dont tell your story to all)

Read properly what the OP said that she was not able to find a job here and took the offer that she got from UK...
Being stupid is one thing and its different than being practical..
So dont pre-judge before you are in their shoes and know their situation!!
and you know that Finland is spelt with a Capital F!!

[onkko]

I think that Onkko crossed the line on this one!!
Pia, I would follow Hank's advise and get married in UK, register the marriage and find a way for your BF to learn Finnish fast and integrate here..
Meanwhile, Finland will be grateful for nurses when they do come back!!
Tervetuloa Sumoea taas!! Suomi on sinun maa!!

Uuh i crossed the line when people ask how to cheat wellfare, and no its not his country if he fleed and worked somewhere else and just come here to take a birth
I have admit that nurses in finland have !"#¤% job situation but after that long time... naah.
If she plans to stay and work as nurse then welcome.
(not mine to judge so finland will say welcome anyway, just dont tell your story to all)

Read properly what the OP said that she was not able to find a job here and took the offer that she got from UK...
Being stupid is one thing and its different than being practical..
So dont pre-judge before you are in their shoes and know their situation!!
and you know that Finland is spelt with a Capital F!!

I spell finland like i want because its my precioussss

And i talk commonly about leeches, no matter what they explain after 12y they can... well i dont say. Be leeching their current country and husband.

[raamv]

Onkko,
Jos haluat Suomen Hyvät, sitten ei käänny pois palaavien suomalaisten