Lesbian couples & single women queueing for fertility trtmnt

[Mikie]

Well gettng back to the original topic....

I think that law is bogus. It is unfair for ALL parties involved. It puts a real damper on the relationship between the new parents and the child. I believe its a decision that should stay with the parenting couple, gay or not, and not be decided by the government.

And theres no way an anonymous donor should be revealed. But his rights end there. Where that sperm goes to is of no consequence nor right of his. He is selling his sperm to a service for a fee. Thats the end of his involvement. Do I have the right to tell the used car lot who and who not to sell my used Yugo to? Once I sell it to the lot, its theirs. I can't say, "Heres my car, but don't sell it to a gay couple".

[Mikie]

Why does the 'new person' need or have a right to their biological parents? That completely defeates the purpose of adoption and artificial insemination. It'll destroy the fabric of the relationship between the adoptee and the adopters. A new life is given where it wouldn't have been previously and that should be allowed to remain harmoniously. The 'new person' should be happy it was given life, and thankful he/she didn't end up in a kleenex like most discharges do.

*edit*
Just read back, that last comment came out a lot harsher than intended. Meaning: The 'new person' has 2 loving and caring parents and thats a lot more than most can say. Bringing biological parents that do not want anything to do with them can only destroy things that were built by the adopted parents. Like I said earlier, this is one area I don't think the government has the right to dictate.

[Mikie]

I appologize if my posts have offended, there was no intention of this.
However, my comments were not aimed at adoption. I was following the scope of the thread, referring to sperm donation. I do not believe that this is an area where the government has just cause to get involved. Sperm donators sign waivers entitling themselves to anonymity.

A person who puts a child up for adoption and a person who sells his sperm do not fit into the same category.




On a sidenote I just want to add that adoption has some close personal ties to me as well. These are not comments being shot from the hip.

[miti]

I don't see any difference in the rights/feelings/needs between the adopted child and the child spawned of a sperm donation.

Cory

I understand your point, but there is one important factor which has to be taken into consideration here: finding out about the identity of biological parents could indeed be very important to adopted children and mean a lot to them. But whether they find out about it or not, the fact those children are alive and were brought into this world doesn't change.
In the case of revealing the identity of a sperm doner, the new law could very well have consequences that less men would donate their sperm and as a result some children would not even have the chance to be born in the first place. This fast decline in men willing to donate their sperm due to the law which unables them to stay anonymous has already happened in many countries where the law was applied.

I know this is an extreme and maybe groteske way to put it, but I believe that in some cases (when dealing with sperm/egg doners) it really comes down to choosing the right to know about the biological parents and being alive in the first place.

If there are enough men willing to donate sperm under the new regulations then it is all fine and well, but if not (as it often seems to happen) I would choose life in the first place over the right to know the identity of biological parents. And BTW - I can fully understand that men who donate sperm (or the same with women donating their eggs) would like to stay anonymous. Like Mikie I think you can't compare it with giving a baby to adoption.

[miti]

I am still not able to see how the feelings and needs of two people, both having been indeed born, are any differnt from one another.

I never said and I also don't think they are different

I do know, however, that all people have a need to know where they came from.

I agree with you completely. But I do think that you have to put reality into that as well. My point is that with the new law less men would donate sperm and then you wouldn't be talking about two people with same needs but about one person with the need to know where he/she came from and the other person is not even exisitng due to lack of sperm doners. I know it doesn't always come to this and like I wrote before - if there are enough people willing to donate sperm under the new law then it is all fine and the children should have the possibility to know their biological parents, but what if this is not the case? what would you do then?

[Hank W.]

One of the issues is money. I wouldn't want to - 14 years ago when I was a teenager in need of money and jacking off to a test tube - to have 15 kids come up my doorstep today demanding alimony payments.

Then again with the genetic diseases and all, if you are missing 1/2 of the background information you might unknowingly be in a risk group for something or the other.

[Mikie]

One of the issues is money. I wouldn't want to - 14 years ago when I was a teenager in need of money and jacking off to a test tube - to have 15 kids come up my doorstep today demanding alimony payments.

Precisely. A guarenteed deterant for most, if not all sensible males.

[Phil]

Do I have the right to tell the used car lot who and who not to sell my used Yugo to? Once I sell it to the lot, its theirs. I can't say, "Heres my car, but don't sell it to a gay couple".

Mikie brings up a good point. It's up to the sperm bank to decide what they do with the sperm, however, the donator and bank should agree on the terms before hand.

If the law allowed it, sperm banks would have the option to ask you all sorts of questions about where you want your sperm to go. Some sperm banks may decide to do this, some may simply say, "We're giving your sperm to whomever we damn well please." But the important thing is that the donator knows this before donating. He might say to himself, "I don't want my sperm going to straight, white couples" and the bank says "Well it may go to a straight white couple" and he'll say, "Okay, I'd rather not give donate."

[Phil]

our sons still have every right in the world to know who they were.

They certainly do, however, a sperm bank or adoptive service shouldn't be forced to leak information about the donator/parent. Hopefully, they would just destroy that information so there's no possibility of that happening, unless of course the donator/parent requested that their "children" can come find them years later.

[jazzori]

Your assuming that all sperm donors will refuse *their* sperm to gays. That's ridiculous. Sure, some may, but it's their sperm and they should have the right to choose where and whom it goes to.

And you know indeed where your sperm goes. Into conceiving a child. What does it matter that the child's parents are gay or hetero or whatever? The sperm reached its purpose of fertilizing. If you'd like to choose the parent of your child, get into a relationship, have a kid and become active part of his/her life.