Worried about 19 year old son!

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:12 pm

Hi!
I am worried about my 19 year old son who will finish his high school this autumn but does not know what he wants to do with his future, he must go to the army in January 2010 but he does not want to, he is interested in Indian history and culture but where can he study this? He wants to go to India to study but says it is expensive! But can he get a scholarship? Or study in London? Anyone who has any advice I am most grateful. Is there somewhere in Helsinki for student advice? He is also interested in media study, tv, film etc especially Bollywood! Please help!

**Sponsor:**

maurine · Post by **maurine** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:39 pm

maybe he can start studying language or do some short term courses or work as a salesman while he figures what to do.

luulio · Post by **luulio** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:10 pm

What about the high school where he is studying? There must be a student counsellor/careers' teacher (whatever they are called in his school) who is there to give advice & help the students plan their further studies.

onkko · Post by **onkko** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:44 pm

Well if she doesnt want to go army she can go civil service or jail. There is OPO or opinto-ohjaaja in school who helps with choosing.

Rosamunda · Post by **Rosamunda** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:57 pm

If your son is Finnish I don't think he can choose whether or not to go to the army but he can opt for the civil service rather than the army stuff.

Yes, there should be a careers advisor in his school to help him make university applications, either for Finland or abroad. There are almost certainly courses in the UK but they are not free. You can get more information from the British Council about studying in the UK http://www.britishcouncil.fi/ or from places like http://www.maailmalle.net/Resource.phx/ ... inpage.htx

There are also schools that offer short study programmes which can be a useful stop-gap while students make up their minds. Someone I know recently did a short course at this place. http://www.vnf.fi/ENGLISH/index.html

raamv · Post by **raamv** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:22 pm

He needs to graduate high school and start to look for programs in Aalto University:
e.g. Media Study seems like a fit for what you describe:
http://www.aaltoyliopisto.info/en/view/ ... a-factory1
The problem, is you cant study "bollywood" and things like that..and if anyone says that they teach some "Bollywood" stuff, Mostly, they are BS'ing..
( Generally, its free-form dance that is taught as "bollywood" dance, which is derived from Classical Indian dances )..
Curious on why to Study Indian History? as its pretty complicated, long and will take his lifetime..and there is not anything called Indian History as ( History from 28 states, and its networking with outside world etc and the culture intermingled in pretty complicated even for Many Indians...)

Mattlill2000 · Post by **Mattlill2000** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:50 pm

My sons 20 and just graduated from college and he will going to the army in July. He doesn't want to go but accepts the fact that he has to go. I think its a whole load to dump on a kid but thats life. Fortunately in Finland he can always study for a new career if this one doesn't work out. Again, it is a big load for a 15 year old to decide what they want to do for the rest of their life. Good luck!

inkku · Post by **inkku** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 1:36 am

If he understand Finnish, the place to get info about studying in the UK (from Finnish perspective....) is Isory, Finnish students in the UK.

http://isory.org/infopaketti

Gigi · Post by **Gigi** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 2:51 pm

First of all you don't have to worry, because many 19 year-olds don't know what to do after school. It is very normal to take a year of after Lukio before going to army. A lot of kids work for a while to sponsor some traveling or their future studies.

Like lots of people have said already, he should contact his OPO at school and ask for advice. He can apply already for media studies or something like that. But I think he doesn't need to start immediately if he gets a place (it used to be that he could keep his place for 2 years). So he can keep this kind of place as a back-up, take a year off, do army and then start studying... and maybe by that time he knows what he wants.

Tip: ideal for getting to know some area of working life is "työharjoittelu". Getting into TV or filmproduction might be difficult, but he can always try.

And like some others have said, if he is Finnish, he doesn't have an option, he has to go to army or do civil service.

Greetings.

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:04 pm

Thanks for all replies and advice!
Yes he wants to take a year off to decide what he wants to do but says that he can't do that as he must go in the army in January, I think he must have a good reason to postpone entering the army for 1 year yes?

Peregrino · Post by **Peregrino** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:42 pm

Your son is 19, beginning his adult life, so tell him that the military cervice isn´t that bad for a young man. He will do lifelong friends there, see life from a new perspective, learn new things like how to work in a team and how NOT to work in a team (it´s all about team work in the military, everybody depends on one another, one´s blunder is everybodys blunder, and so on, so on...) and thats pretty crucial in todays competetive work atmosphere. He will learn to judge people, situations and his own limits, this is important too, and its free of charge in the army. He will learn how to take other peoples opinions seriously and how to follow orders (exactly how you do in your job), and to be rewarded when you do your job/mission well.

Military is far from boring, no-use place, I found out when I did my service. You get paid a small amount of money everyday to your account that helps you a bit in your free days, and I can tell there are lots of free days! If you do your job well, there are extra vacations to be given called kuntoutusloma, as a kind of moral lifter for those who TRY to do their best in the military. When I was in the military, I had some months I spend more time at home then I did in the barracks, so tell him that too.

But he has to know that there are hard moments when you are pushed mentally and physically to your limits, though this depends much where you serve in.

If he likes the woodlands, he could try to get to one of those regiments in the eastern finland. If he likes the sea, why not try a military service in the navy or coastal command! Airforce anybody? A semi independent guerrilla style commando in the vastness of Laplland? There are places where to serve and then there are places. Just do the enquieries well on time and apply to them WELL on time, It´ll help.

I met many young people in the military who were more or less shocked the first days of service, but as the days passed by and they found out that it wasn´t that hard nor brainless. He will found out too that there is allways a meaning to everything in the service, nothing is taken lightheartedly and the soldiers are cared upon and over the normal logic. He will be fed very well too. Theres allways an eye on you, SO JUST BEHAVE WELL, thats the only thing to say, because you can get into trouble if you search the trouble and not only by the NCO´s,but by your fellow conscripts.

He will have a good time, afterall!

jen · Post by **jen** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:47 pm

Have a look into Scottish universities. There are no university fees in Scotland for EU students and KELA will give the student money to your son even if he is studying outside of Finland. I think Aberdeen University has a pretty good department of Film and Visual Culture and you could look into doing an exchange or internship in India as part of a degree there.

Upphew · Post by **Upphew** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:21 am

bm50 wrote:Yes he wants to take a year off to decide what he wants to do but says that he can't do that as he must go in the army in January, I think he must have a good reason to postpone entering the army for 1 year yes?

The army is the year off! And yes, one can not postpone army without good reason (as in health or studies)

Mölkky-Fan · Post by **Mölkky-Fan** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:30 am

He seems to not be sure what he wants to do, and he appears to be in the process of finding himself... what a perfect time to go into the army for a year, to build friendships, interact with different people, develop himself and learn about life outside the family home in a fairly protected environment.
I was in the British Army and it was a great time of my life, with many great memories and good friendships.

Travmies · Post by **Travmies** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:32 am

My best advice is:

Your son is 19, so he is old enough to take responsibility for his life

The more you worry about what he is going to do or what he is not going to do, the more time you are given him, not to take responsibility for himself.

The only reason I can see for him not wanting to go in the army is because it could be hard work, something he has unlikely to have experienced in the real world outside of education.

So, let the boy be a man and make the mistakes in life we all have to do and in the end he will be the better for it.

Finland Forum

Find information about moving to, living in and life in Finland