child custody after divorce

fratello · Post by **fratello** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:44 am

Hi,
Having just gotten divorced, I need to consider child custody. My wife is finnish and I'm Canadian. There are no plans to move but in practice we will have joint custody. Where/how do I get the paperwork to make the custody official.

br,
R

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Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:13 am

You go to your county's sosiaalitoimisto (welfare office) where you make the child support and custody agreement, the county child welfare controller supervises the legality.

littlefrank · Post by **littlefrank** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:08 pm

If you were married then the joint custody is official, however you should make an official access agreement even if you and your ex have agreed informally about access.

http://www.om.fi/Etusivu/Julkaisut/Esit ... to?lang=en

http://ec.europa.eu/civiljustice/parent ... fin_en.htm

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:57 am

Hi!
Yes I have a problem regarding joint custody, we divorced in 2006 and my son who is now 8 years old lived with me here in Helsinki until last summer then I made the decision ( now I think the wrong decision ) for him to go and live with my ex in Norway, she has re-married, I thought he would be safe and secure there with her but the last few weeks she has contacted me and told me that she has problems with the social welfare office and they have taken her 10 year old daughter into care and they said she is a bad mother, she also said that they threatened to take my son and her 1 year old baby into care, I feel she is not telling me everything she just blames her daughter for causing the problem but I don't believe that and it seems the social office don't believe that either. Also the social office have banned her husband from living in the house with them and I think they would not do that without good reason, so of course I am very worried and concerned for my son I have contacted the social welfare office in Norway but my ex has told them not to tell me anything but I must have a right to know what is going on there we have joint custody. I also know that she is spoiling my son with money etc it seems she can't cope when he keeps asking for something so she just gives in it seems she has no control over him so of course I am worried about his future!
So I feel really helpless being here in Finland I don't know what I can do I don't have any control over the situation and don't know where to turn for help!

rinso · Post by **rinso** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:07 pm

Talk to a lawyer. You have rights, but it is easy for a Norwegian civil servant to ignore them (you're far away). But when a lawyer makes an official request, they know they have to react to avoid trouble.

raamv · Post by **raamv** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:30 am

you can also contact your local sosiaalitoimisto to see what options you have...
After all, Norway is part of the Nordic system and they do tend to have a lot of agreements that transcends borders..
If you suspect foul play or harm.. check this site:
http://www.stm.fi/Resource.phx/eng/orgi ... motion.htx

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:05 pm

Thanks to you all for your advice! I will follow up on it straight away, thanks!

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Tue May 19, 2009 9:30 am

bm50 wrote:Hi!
Yes I have a problem regarding joint custody, we divorced in 2006 and my son who is now 8 years old lived with me here in Helsinki until last summer then I made the decision ( now I think the wrong decision ) for him to go and live with my ex in Norway, she has re-married, I thought he would be safe and secure there with her but the last few weeks she has contacted me and told me that she has problems with the social welfare office and they have taken her 10 year old daughter into care and they said she is a bad mother, she also said that they threatened to take my son and her 1 year old baby into care, I feel she is not telling me everything she just blames her daughter for causing the problem but I don't believe that and it seems the social office don't believe that either. Also the social office have banned her husband from living in the house with them and I think they would not do that without good reason, so of course I am very worried and concerned for my son I have contacted the social welfare office in Norway but my ex has told them not to tell me anything but I must have a right to know what is going on there we have joint custody. I also know that she is spoiling my son with money etc it seems she can't cope when he keeps asking for something so she just gives in it seems she has no control over him so of course I am worried about his future!
So I feel really helpless being here in Finland I don't know what I can do I don't have any control over the situation and don't know where to turn for help!

Further to this. Now I am very worried as my ex-wife is saying that the social welfare office have threatened to take my son and her baby into care I don't know what is going on there they are not telling me much even the social worker there but I must have some rights as his father we have a joint custody agreement from the court here in Helsinki, now she says she is taking my son to the Philippines but I don't want that it's not safe there she says until this court decision is made in Norway but I don't believe her I think she is making an excuse to take him out of the country, I'm here and I don't know what to do, I have arranged for my son to come to Finland in June for his summer holiday then visit his grandmother in London she is 95 and has not seen him for 2 years so she is looking forward to seeing my son very much so of course she will be very disappointed if he doesn't go there I think my ex wants this. I don't know who to believe my ex or the social worker since my son went to live with her last summer my son's life has gone down hill and been messed up by her and her new husband he's still banned from their house, the social worker told me that they think that my ex is not capable of taking care of my son and her baby daughter so you can see why I don't want my son to go to the Philippines I said he can come here to Finland and stay with me for a while but she said her lawyer said if he comes here they can still come to Finland and take him away but again I don't believe her I must have rights as his father if I can I will get him back here for good he was ok living here in Finland school language etc before he went there. I really do not know what to next!

fratello · Post by **fratello** » Tue May 19, 2009 9:57 am

I've taken the same advice I'm about to give you - Get a lawyer. You've got serious problems, she's organised and you need to be.
http://www.kuusivaara.com/English/Childlaw.htm

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Tue May 19, 2009 11:11 am

Thanks for your reply! Yes I have just contacted the lawyer you gave thanks so much! I will let you know the result.

fratello · Post by **fratello** » Tue May 19, 2009 11:21 am

We should hook up for a beer sometime. We've got similar situations, although yours is more of a 'worst case scenario' of what mine could become. That's pretty much why I want the lawyer. I'm quite certain that although I am easy going and flexible, my exwife is neither. I think the likelihood that she could suprise me with something crazy (like suing me for full custody, moving away etc.) is all too likely. The lawyer is only so that I'm not defensless and can proactively get to know my rights.

bm50 · Post by **bm50** » Tue May 19, 2009 1:59 pm

Hi!
Yes we could meet up for a beer and chat, it helps sometimes to talk about it maybe next week or whenever possible it's ok!
Is your wife finnish? The lawyer emailed me and advised that I find a Lawyer in Norway so I have found one and waiting for their reply. I know I now that I should have taken action earlier it's been going on to long.Anyway hope to see you!

Flossy1978 · Post by **Flossy1978** » Sat May 23, 2009 8:52 pm

Huh? I work, as does my husband. So who is a good parent to our child according to your Mum's are the best?

My soon to be ex is a wonderful Father. I can't fault him on his parenting skills. Even though he works long hours 5 days a week. He gives his all to his parenting of his son and I know when my son is with him he is in very good hands and being parented very well. Yes, my ex has his faults, he's not perfect, but they are just little faults, nothing that is going to damage our child.

Who can afford to be a stay at home Mum till their kids are 18 in this country anyway?

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