slowly my motivation to live is sinking..

Hae · Post by **Hae** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:56 am

i'm only 27 and this shouldn't be happening without even having had a nagging wife

my buddy keeps telling me that once you have a wife and kids, you're always excited to find a way to avoid going home, but *sigh*..

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J.Honkanen · Post by **J.Honkanen** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:05 pm

Maybe if you payed the US tax man, took a break from the computer, and went out to see the real world you would feel better.

Karhunkoski · Post by **Karhunkoski** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:01 pm

Hae wrote:my buddy keeps telling me that once you have a wife and kids, you're always excited to find a way to avoid going home

Whilst there are plenty of happy parents out there, the above situation is sadly quite common. Of course it's not PC to say it though

Society is geared towards reproduction (especially with the current demographic trough). We've spent a wondeful coupla weeks touring around the north Nordics, and not a morning has passed without us both thanking our gods that we chose not to have kids.

So back to your original comment. If you're already getting depressed about what it will be like to be a father, then just dont have them! Having kids is a choice, not a requiement. Just make sure you make your position clear to your lady before things get serious, so you dont disappoint her

Vesper · Post by **Vesper** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:33 pm

yeah, marriage isn't always a white picket fence and total happniess. Basicly, you have to keep in mind that you love someone who is constantly changing from year to year as well as yourself. And remember what you like about them the most. There ups and downs, but with kids it becomes harder to spend qualitity time with your partner. It's a challenge, but my friend just had a child and she is completely in love with her daughter. It can be a blessing and a nightmare all at once.

ajdias · Post by **ajdias** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:46 pm

Hae wrote:i'm only 27 and this shouldn't be happening without even having had a nagging wife my buddy keeps telling me that once you have a wife and kids, you're always excited to find a way to avoid going home, but *sigh*..

Get real, plenty of people have problems at your age, with or without nagging partners. And they have no buddies to comfort them.

AldenG · Post by **AldenG** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:11 pm

I suggest Googling u.s. tax negotiation and separately u.s. tax representation.

The really big companies with the paid Google ads reportedly have a bunch of problems. There have been many complaints and lawsuits about a couple of them. That's often true about the ones who put huge bucks into television advertising of fairly routine services like this.

But in general it IS good to have an experienced person acting as middleman for you. It's only a question of choosing the right person. Although you have to pay them something, you are less likely to get taken for a sucker by an agent looking for an easy mark to improve his collection statistics.

The IRS never goes away by ignoring them. But it IS possible to get some of the computer-imposed penalties, or sometimes even human-imposed penalties, reduced or removed when there are extenuating circumstances. It sounds like you have some extenuating circumstances. You will start to feel better when you connect with someone who can help you. Just be wary of paying a bunch of money up front. Read some of the complaints about the big tax reps so you see what the potential problems are. But don't abandon the whole idea because of a few bad eggs.

Hae · Post by **Hae** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:16 am

Thank you everyone.. I guess I just keep moving on with life.. I can't complain about much, and shouldn't even think this way.. Anyways, I planned to visit my family who live on the other side of the world for about a week, and I'm gonna take a beginner's Finnish language course at night. I hope that I don't get jumped by a viking on the street or something hahaha

J.Honkanen wrote:Maybe if you payed the US tax man, took a break from the computer, and went out to see the real world you would feel better.

: I contacted IRS and request for the internal audit. I have suggested them to look any additional income filing besides my work in the US and request the entire list if I pick up anything by myself. If my SSN is used by someone else, there will be no penalty, but I have to file the police report and send to IRS. I did not care much and ignored it like whatever, but I guess I need to clean up so I don't even bother looking at "what's gonna happen after." Now, I have to worry about the phone bill for the conversation with IRS hahaha

ajdias wrote:
Hae wrote:i'm only 27 and this shouldn't be happening without even having had a nagging wife my buddy keeps telling me that once you have a wife and kids, you're always excited to find a way to avoid going home, but *sigh*..
Get real, plenty of people have problems at your age, with or without nagging partners. And they have no buddies to comfort them.

: You're right and all of you. Maybe I should be more active and socialize with more people around to listen to other people's problems to appreciate how beautiful life I am having. I honestly chose to come to Finland in the last minute, and came here without even really knowing where in Europe FINLAND IS. I'm not sure this made me feel lonely a bit

Upphew · Post by **Upphew** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:19 pm

Hae wrote:I hope that I don't get jumped by a viking on the street or something hahaha

Bubba Elvis XIV · Post by **Bubba Elvis XIV** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:44 pm

That guy seems to have his own site with an army of loyal fans.

ajdias · Post by **ajdias** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:02 pm

I know what I want to be when I grow up

(check youtube, the 1st video has almost 9 million views.)

SoCalMarc · Post by **SoCalMarc** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:54 pm

Hae with all due respect it seems like one of three general reasons are behind your depressing call to help:

1) You're a bit of a drama queen and are looking for attention from virtual friends. In that case I think you oughta get off the computer and go to the local pub, gym or church.

2) You're genuinely depressed and potentially in need of psychological or psychiatric help. In that case I think you oughta get off the computer, pick up your phone and make an appointment with the local headshrink.

3) You're exemplifying the typical apathetic thirtysomething bachelor and don't really feel as bad as you're making it sound. In which case you oughta get off the computer and maybe stand in front of an oncoming traffic for a few seconds. You'll probaby realise your motivation to live is a little stornger than you initially thought.

On the bright side, getting off the computer in all three cases gets you half way there

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:26 pm

Well I'm 10 year his senior with similar-ish problems as in 2 naggy x's so what I'd tell him is to get a good hemp rope I'll tie and grease it for him. But then again I'm a Finn so we just drink ourselves to oblivion.

BTW "local pub" got a free computer which is I am here going strong...

Bubba Elvis XIV · Post by **Bubba Elvis XIV** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:46 pm

Pursuivant wrote:Well I'm 10 year his senior with similar-ish problems as in 2 naggy x's so what I'd tell him is to get a good hemp rope I'll tie and grease it for him. But then again I'm a Finn so we just drink ourselves to oblivion.

2 naggy exs????? what are you complaining about....better that than a naggy current!

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:56 pm

Vesper · Post by **Vesper** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:07 am

Maybe your friend isn't getting enough sex in his relationship, if he was than he would not be excited to leave the house. It would be reversed way. Recently, I read a wiccan book on 'how to enchant a man'. The author is a mother of 3 and married, and pretty much stated that all couples who have kids go through droughts where the sex in the relationship almost disappears. She stated that when the word came out about her writing a book on how to enchact a man, 99% of the men though 'phenomenal sex' is a great place to start, where the women listed sex as their 5th concern. She also goes on about finding a balance between the both demands kids and your partner. Like, she said that her husband would pop in a Winnie-the-pooh movie for the kids, and that was the sign for them to run into the bedroom for 29 mins. I mean I think he would be more excited about being home if the flame was still burning hot.

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