We value your advice or suggestion much.

odeisampson · Post by **odeisampson** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:34 pm

My Finnish girl friend and I would like to get married in February after almost one year of dating but our problem is that we are living at different places now and that will remain for the first 6 months into our marriage till i make changes in my educational institution in September,2010.
The reason is am currently in full time studies at a university in one town whiles she is also living and working in another town about 175 kilometres.
Therefore the only possible days of seeing each other is weekends at either her place or my place.
We wish to know if it works this way as far as a marriage between a Finnish and non-Finnish is concern and if not ,your cherished advice or suggestion is greatly needed.
thanks to all.

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Rip · Post by **Rip** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:45 pm

odeisampson wrote:We wish to know if it works this way as far as a marriage between a Finnish and non-Finnish is concern

Long distance relationships sometimes work, sometimes not - but I'm just wondering if you a feeling uncertain enough about to ask question here, then why not wait until you can actually move intogether...? If the idea is to 'upgrade' your residence permit status, I don't think that will work (and indeed would cause you unnecessary trouble if you try too early)

odeisampson · Post by **odeisampson** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 12:04 pm

thanks for your advice but our marriage having positive effect on my status in Finland is not very important to me now.but just interested in making our relationship known.
Does it have the same implication as in registered partnership?

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 3:52 pm

Registered partnership is if your girlfriend is a man.

odeisampson · Post by **odeisampson** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 3:54 pm

alright ........i got it now

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:57 pm

I was wondering too what you meant with your question, as rights in registered partnership are defined to be the same as in marriage, apart from some exceptions regarding adoption rules and that the spouse of the woman living in a same sex registered partnership would not be considered 'father' of child the the partner might give birth to.

Marriage is marriage here irrespective of your citizenship. Legal aspects include status of children, distribution of property in the case death or divorce, the duty of the spouses to financially support each other (and its effect on any financial subsidies you may be eligible) and are you considered each others closest family members or merely friends in a case of accident or something similar.

If neither of you have much money or property and you are not planning (for the moment) to get kids, then it probably does not change very much officially.

Xochiquetzal · Post by **Xochiquetzal** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:00 pm

Especially in Finland, Marriage isn't necessary and being unmarried with a girlfriend certainly doesn't have much social stigmatisms. Why get married until you can do the thing properly? Honestly (and this may not relate to you but....) I see people here rushing into marriage because they are afraid the other one will grow bored of them otherwise. And well, marriage really doesn't help that.

Even if your girlfriend was pregnant, I can't imagine it is that important to get married before both of you are fully ready (beyond just emotional reasons - ready to tie your finances, legalities, etc. permanently together).

Idefix · Post by **Idefix** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:05 pm

Xochiquetzal wrote:
Even if your girlfriend was pregnant, I can't imagine it is that important to get married before both of you are fully ready (beyond just emotional reasons - ready to tie your finances, legalities, etc. permanently together).

From reading other threads here, if this is the case, with the legal issues related to having a child - marriage would definitely be beneficial.

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 4:48 pm

Idefix wrote:
Xochiquetzal wrote:
Even if your girlfriend was pregnant, I can't imagine it is that important to get married before both of you are fully ready (beyond just emotional reasons - ready to tie your finances, legalities, etc. permanently together).
From reading other threads here, if this is the case, with the legal issues related to having a child - marriage would definitely be beneficial.

Plus while divorce can be got in six months, except for rather unfortunate cases, your kids will be present at your funeral. While I don't want to take away the freedom choice people have within the legal framework of this country, I have never quite understood people who are ready to get kids but not to get married.

EP · Post by EP » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:00 pm

I have never quite understood people who are ready to get kids but not to get married.

Some people just don´t think it is necessary in any way, they can live together and bring up kids even without that. A friend got married when she turned fifty. By that time they had been living together for over 25 years and had three kids (who at that time were already adults). They got married only because they found out there would be some hassles with property and widow´s benefits if either of them died.

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