child under 18 years born a baby

[lanny8798]

if a child under 18 years old born a baby, who is reponsible for the baby? who is the legal guardian of the baby before she is 18 years old? who will pay for all the daily expense for the baby except the kela money?

[EP]

You should contact your municipality´s social services. They can explain in detail.

I may be wrong, but if that would have happened to my under-age daughter, I think would have automatically considered myself and my husband as legal guardians. That is, until the daughter would have been 18.

[Rip]

You should contact your municipality´s social services. They can explain in detail.

Yes. There are actually two Finnish terms that could be translated as "guardian" in English. Huoltaja and edunvalvoja (holhooja). Most parents are both for their under-age children, but an under-age parent would still be huoltaja but could not be edunvalvoja.

[Mölkky-Fan]

if a child under 18 years old born a baby

All children (and everyone else in fact) are born a baby...

[paulrenn]

if a child under 18 years old born a baby

All children (and everyone else in fact) are born a baby...

You said what I was thinking

[lanny8798]

thanks for all respond. we have a daughter age 14( actually she is my husband and his ex's) , she has changed boyfriend several times all ready, and she always has problem in social life( she only live with us for about 4 years, before she lived with her mother and her mother can not take care of her, then she move to live with us),she play with the bad girls ( or they are the girls like to show up by different way in school) together to do some stupid things. i am worried that if she pregent before she is 18, what shall i do?, but my husband said it is normal for finnish kids. i have a daughter 12 years, she has been under my guardian all the time, two daughters are together all day long, i am worried that the big one will affect the younger one, I really really dont expect my daughter to have boyfriend too earlier, but when they are together the younger one is very easy to copy from the old one, and my husband's attitude piss me off, even we are diffrent culture, but safty and normal moral teaching to a kids is necessary.

[sinikettu]

So she is not yet pregnant but you fear that her activities/relationships are risky.
Only 14 is a big risk not just socially but health wise.
I would suggest that she is taken to her doctor and put on the pill.

[EP]

i am worried that if she pregent before she is 18, what shall i do?, but my husband said it is normal for finnish kids.

WHAT??? It is not normal, it is a CRIME to have sex with someone under 16. I think it is in English called statutory RAPE (or something like that). What the hell is it with parents nowadays? Your husband is a totally irresponsible parent, and you can tell him that it CERTAINLY IS NOT NORMAL FOR FINNISH KIDS. Or at least not for kids I know. But then they have had parents who have acted like parents.

Maybe it is too late for the 14-year-old (take her to the health center to get a pill recipe), but it is not too late for the younger one. Make her stay out of her sister´s circles. She should jump rope and play with paper dolls.

[emimi]

Maybe you should take the girl to a family planning clinic (Ehkäisyneuvola in Finnish) and get her on the pill... The appointment and first 3 months of the pill should even be for free. Teeage pregnancies are rather rare in Finland, thanks to the family planning clinics and encouragement of contraception.

[EP]

OK, I checked the statistics. In Finland on an average girls start sex at the age of 17, boys at 18.

[lanny8798]

maybe the statistic is not so right, i believe the kids in finland start sex much earlier than that, as i knew the people around me, some first sex is age 13, maybe my husband family has this tradition, her mother born him at age of 17, and his sister born her first kids at age of 17 too. i dont appriciate kids at 14 to have boyfriend, kissing and hanging around, because they dont have the mind to take control of themselves, that is why i have refused several times of her requests for going for movie with only one boy( i belive that is her boyfriend, but she did not admit), also go to some youngesters nonachole party etc. i dont believe the party will be only underaged kids. when i told my husband of my worries, he said that is nothing to do with us, we dont need to raise the baby or pay to support her. he thinks it is very normal that the kids at this age to have boyfriend and kissing around. ( but i am afraid it will not be only kissing if there is a chance for sex) so what i can do is that I suggest the grandmother to have chat with her about at least the safe-sex issue. can not imaging her first boyfriend is about 10 when her with her mother and they have kissed. and now she has about 4 boyfriend already. it is difficult situation to me, I can not be too strict to her, ( from her mother's mouth to her that i am the evil step mother already even i am much nicer to her than to my own daughter), but if her father, the guardian thinks it is ok for her behaviour, what can i say?is this the real sitation in finland?

[lanny8798]

WHAT??? It is not normal, it is a CRIME to have sex with someone under 16.

if both are underage, what shall it be? her last boyfriend is two grade up than her, i believe he is under 16 or 17. he

[EP]

is this the real sitation in finland?

Like I said, no it is not. And having a child is rare as a teenager, because teenagers who have sex usually also use contraception. And the average age to have the first baby is as old as 28 (which is a bit too old), not 17.

i dont appriciate kids at 14 to have boyfriend, kissing and hanging around, because they dont have the mind to take control of themselves

If they have been raised responsible they know how to control themselves. I have been young, I knew how to control myself. My kids knew how to control themselves. I think it is OK for a 14-year old to go to movies and for a walk with a boy, that does not mean that they have sex. Even kissing does not mean sex.

[lanny8798]

thanks for the dicussion.
my problem is that i still have two more daughters, one is 2 years old, one is only 4 months, they are the kids with my husband. he is a nice guy, but maybe too nice to set up the rules, and from his eyes, that kids learn from own mistake. for me, if she pregnant underage, that will be a unsavable mistake, and that will be her life long burden or pain. cory are right, i need to set up the family rule, but if she did not follow, i can not punish her, she has said to me that i am not her mother. ( even her real mother only contact her 3 or 4 time in 3 and half years when we located in other contry, then plan to have a nice holiday without her this summer so that she even can not stay as long as agreed with her mother for this summer). i try to be a model mother, i work hard, i take care of all familiers, i cook, clean, help her homework, participant her school activities, i went to her school much more timse than go to my daughter's school, including we were called by principle because of her misbehavior. still, if i did 100 things for her, 99 satisfied her, only one did not meet her expectation, then i will be an evil step mother. she is not willing to help for house work, then i have to ask my 12 year daughter to do it alone. few days ago, i got so pissed off, i told her that i will never ask any hands from her at home, she can just sat on couch and watch TV, play gamer and chat on line. i am not against her to make normal friends with boys or girls, the questions they are not normal friends. anyway max 4 years, i will finish my responsibility for her. i am quite confussed for the situation now.

[EP]

from his eyes, that kids learn from own mistake

Do you think that in two years time he will also let the then four-year-old walk by herself to kindergarten? She may of course run under a car but that will teach her.