Lack of respect in marriage

[rinso]

my finnish husband simply do not respect me,
he wants to control ever aspect of my life.
He ignores me whenever he feels like, and is rude to me if I try to impose myself.
he always come to stop me or argue with me, even with the most simple daily basis situation.
Everything has to be his way, and he wont even consider doing things the way I want.

Looks like your husband is a control freak.
And this situation indeed can end only in one way.
Time to make a plan B.

[Upphew]

Sounds like you have married Finnish woman

[EP]

The woman is the controller or the man

Well, neither should be, isn´t that obvious?

You cannot change him, you can only change yourself. Don´t argue, just do what you want to do, the way you want to do it. You don´t have to ask his opinion, you are an adult. If he starts to nag just ignore him. He will learn, although it may take quite a long time. It is up to you to decide if you want to wait that.

[Sunnyboy]

Hey. I think EP is right. you cant change him. but in my view you might be able to make him understand how you feel about the way things are going by either talking to him or just ignore when he does things you don't like

I am African and married with a Finnish woman and have a similar situation as you but I try as much as possible to work it out the best way I can. talking about the way I feel about certain things and ignoring others. I belief its an inter-cultural conflict not between both you guys but between the two various cultures and background you have.

But anyways give it your best and hope for the best. Long time it will take but patience it requires.

All the best.!

[EP]

I belief its an inter-cultural conflict not between both you guys but between the two various cultures and background you have.

No it is not. I am Finnish and so is my husband – been there, done that.

[EP]

is it possible

It was for me, now we have been married for a looooong time. But I am sorry to say, it took a long time. I think it started from jealosy (groundless) and his own insecurity. Neither of which I noticed before marriage.

Refuse to engage into fights, they just eat your energy. Just do your own things whatever he says. BUT you can ask him does he think that it is nice and fun to live with him. Does he think that every morning you think:"Boy, I am such a lucky girl. I love to be married with him."

[EP]

And stop saying that it is your fault and your mistake. It isn´t. And if he is rude to you, don´t believe him. If you do, you will soon start to believe that you are the way he says you are. There is no excuse in being rude, and certainly not to your wife. That is mental abuse.

[Tiwaz]

Just don't go overboard and decide that you do everything your way no matter what.

If you go that route without few serious chats with your hubby, situation is that you have two people who do things their way and damn the torpedoes!

Result? You guys instead of fixing your relationship totally rip it apart. Need of compromise must be accepted by both parties. That would be good part to start the process instead of drawing lines in the sand and digging trenches first.