Help to develop languages for Trilingual toddler

[brossitos]

Hi,

My 29 months old son has Spanish and German at home and Finnish at daycare. He is struggling with his speaking skills and I would like to know where can I take him to consult about his delay in speaking.

I understand that it is 3 languages at the time but I dont know how to help him to develop his speaking skills, nor whom to contact ? since I assume I need someone who will speak either Spanish or German?

Kiitos!

[Rosamunda]

Same with us. Our kids grew up in a French/English/Finnish/Swedish household and didn't really start making sentences until they started school (Ecole Maternelle at 3 yrs). One of them (the eldest) did have some learning difficulties so it is a good idea to be vigilant. His first teacher at primary school failed to diagnose his problems and was not very supportive, so in the end I had to get him diagosed privately and take care of all the remedial work outside of the school system.

And.... IMO stick to whatever it is you are doing at home (one parent, one language???). Anyone who tells you that you should stop speaking German/Spanish to your son at home, probably doesn't know what they're talking about. I can't remember the number of times I was told (in France) that I shouldn't speak English to my kids

[brossitos]

Thank you so much for your valuable feedback, I will contact Neuvola and the Speech association, and I already have some contacts for professionals back in Argentina.

My concern with Neuvola was exactly what you went through, they are not experience with multilingual kids (specially in small towns like Rajamäki) and probably do not know who can help.

It is always good to talk to families going through similar situations

[Olga]

I guess I will have to subscribe to this thread, as our daughter is bathing in trilingual environment: kindergarden Finnish, and Russian and Spanish at home. She is 20 months and uses the words she finds more easier to pronounce from each language, although she distinguishes in what language she should ask for water and to say goodbye.

[fabi77]

I am not sure if this will help you but at least it has been very handy for me helping my son to use his Spanish.

He speaks Spanish, Dutch and Finnish at daycare. I use English with my husband but I do not speak it to my son. His Spanish has developed a lot, we hear lots of songs and I make sure he has playdates with other Spanish speaking kids.. I am very happy to see that he uses Spanish instead of Finnish with them!... My husband is not that active with him besides just speaking Dutch to him, but he will soon start Dutch school twice a month..

So in summary make sure, besides speaking your native language to him/her, try to enroll him/her in other activities using the language too.

[brossitos]

Thanks for the comments,

My son repeats most words he hear and as well starts using spanish / german when he wants water / juice and some other words... but he repeats a lot and uses only one word (not short phrases) but he knows which word applies what.... but I would like to know how to estimulate him better and make the "learn to speak" process simplier for him.

And as well we stick to one parent / one language ...although between my husband an I sometimes we speak english to each other (much easier to make sure he DID understand what I told him ... but I am trying to speak as much spanish as possible to my husband

la gente que habla espaniol en el forum, se juntan a jugar con los chicos? hay actividades organizadas? o interes en organizarlas? a mi me gustaria mucho, no solo por mi hijo pero para mi tambien

Saludos from Rajamaki

[Rosilla]

I have been told if you want a child to be multi-lingual you should have the main people who will be using the language with them only, so if you speak both english and finnish and want them to learn english ALWAYS speak english to them. if they use finnish at school they should only use finnish, if you husband speaks Dutch then he should only use Dutch with your son. Somehow if you are firm in who speaks what language to the child it is easier on them.

Goodluck;)

[Cynde]

I have multi-lingual kids too and I agree with a lot of what was said above: Be firm with your languages keeping them separate (one parent/caregiver-one language) and don't listen to people who tell you to stop. My younger son didn't talk at all until he was four and his three languages are to this day all equal, and very good. My kids both have gone on to learn other languages with almost no effort.
Neuvola was the hardest. They told me this is Finland and I should speak Finnish to (MY!! ) own kids! I didn't speak Finnish to them and still don't to this day. One of the by-products was many of their school friends believed they too had to speak English when they spoke to me, so they all 'benefited' too! I never back down!
Continue being consistent and believe in yourselves and the amazing abilities of your kids. They will start talking when they are ready, and probably excel in many other areas because of their multi-lingualism.
Cynde

[tuutikki]

I am Swedish-speaking from Finland and 33 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband is from Kashmir and his mother tongue is Kashmiri. Our plan is that I will consistently speak Swedish with our kid. My husband will consistently speak Kashmiri with him/her. My husband and I haven't learned each other's languages (yet), so we are speaking English together, and we hope our kid will also learn English this way. We also have a lot of English-speaking friends who can speak English with our kid. As we are living in Finland, we are also planning to have someone do some activity in Finnish with our kid regularly so that he/she can learn Finnish as well.

I have talked with parents who believe children can learn however many languages, and who also have the experience. They said that yes, the kids may be late in their language development, but THEY WILL LEARN. It's important to have a positive outlook on the whole thing, to keep talking A LOT with the kids, and to accept the language they choose to use in any given situation (NOT have the attitude that the kid has to respond to you in YOUR language).

[Mölkky-Fan]

Why not ditch the different languages and just teach the kids Esparanto? One language only, so not so confusing... and no-one to speak with. It will prepare them well for Finnish life!

[Rosilla]

I knew a guy in Finland once who spoke 5 different languages that he learned as a child. and when he spoke to his father he used them all:P it was funny listening to, and it was like they had there own secret language, cause they used all 5 in the same sentence a lot so unless someone knew them all no one else could understand fully what they were saying(not even his mom) he had soo many job offers as an adult it really was a great benefit for him to have had that priviledge that his parents gave him... Keep it up and he will reap the rewards fully;)

[tuutikki]

More important is to have a sense of humour about parenthood in general and to roll with the punches. Every family has different dynamics, every parent is different and every child is different. With a family of 3 kids, 2 may follow the lingaul pattern in the family with no issues at all ie. one-parent-one-language, but the 3rd, a bit later in life, being a unique individual, may choose to go the different route and speak a language no one understands!

Kids are like little sponges and they will learn from the parent what the "rules" and expectations are in the family... when to say "please" and "thank you", when to wash their hands, when to pick up their toys and what language they speak to which parent/relative. The key is to set up the "rule" from day 1 so the children have a clear understanding of how their family "works".

Thanks Cory, great to have some views of experienced people when I'm preparing to become a parent I will keep in mind to set up the "rules" from day 1...

[Cynde]

I agree that the key is to set up the rules on day one and stick to them. It helps the parents get into the routine,too. We felt strongly that the kids should also answer in the language being spoken to them. We found by simply ignoring the 'wrong' language and animatedly responding to the correct one, the kids made very few mistakes and they both had a clear knowledge of what was what. I feel allowing them to mix and/or answer in the wrong language sets up confusion.
I agree that if the parents speak English to each other but never miss speaking their own language to the child the child will most certainly learn English as well. (What child would ever allow his parents to speak without him understanding them? I've heard about kids, who had parents who spoke English at home when they were 'telling secrets', learned English better and faster than other kids in their class!) English has the added benefit that there is plenty of it around. My kids loved listening to stories (CD) in the car for example. No parent speaks, but still the language is pouring in.

[abcdefg]

I understand its normal for bilingual or multilingual children take a bit longer to talk.Nothing to be worried about.