Really in need of help, wife seperated, want to stay & study

[justaguy]

My wife has recently seperated with me, but we're on very good terms. I want to get my own place and live and study here in Finland. I have already applied at Ammattikorkeakoulu, University and Diakoniaopisto with pending entrance tests and such starting on the 25th of April. If I don't get in, there's always Avoinyliopisto (Open University), that I can study at whilst I reapply for the aformentioned places.

The problem is of course... money.

Finding an apartment is pretty easy and I've had loads of offers and talks with people. I have my wife and a friend who can help me look for a place and also talk to people for me if they speak no English as well as come with me to view the apartments. But the problem is always money. At the moment I get around 699€ a month. Because I am on the integration scheme, learning Finnish.
Because I was living with my wife and she is working, Kela deemed that I wasn't elligble for Apartment money. Which was fair enough at the time.

Now however, we aren't together anymore, and obviously we aren't sharing income. But there's another problem.
My passport expires next year on April 1st 2014. So there is less than 12 months left on it. My Oleskelulupa (Residency Permit) expires on 24th August 2013.

So obviously I need a new passport first, which is about 200€ from Sweden. And I need a new Residency permit 100€ from Finland, second.
My father can send me quite a bit of money so I can get myself back on track and be independant, but my issue here is stability/longevity. He obviously can't send me money forever to live here... I need to be able to study and live in Finland without constant financial aid from my parent.

If I am accepted into a school, I will get something like 298€ a month for studying, and if I got apartment money on top of that I'd get another 244€ or something [max]. (I am not sure on this) my friends say that it's anywhere from under 500€ to around 469€ absolute tops.
That's less than what I am getting now, by quite a bit of a margin and currently I feel I could only barely survive here on the 699€ I am getting...

Currently I was looking at getting an apartment here in Oulu, a furnished one (as I don't have much stuff) just for 3 months or so until I know better what I am doing. Like until I have gotten my new passport and my permit and hopefully gotten into a school. This was whilst I waited for a studio apartment of some sort from PSAOS. So I could move into housing that I could better afford.

Currenlty most of the furnished places for Summer are generally 450€/month which includes everything. Now the problem is.. I don't understand on Opintoraha + Asumislisä how on earth I am going to be able to afford that... and still be able to live.
Obviously there are cheaper places and stuff but outside of the Student housing department there isn't much that seems to be remotely affordable, and I have to wait in a line or something until something opens up.

But I am just completely lost now. It seems totally impossible to be able to live here whilst seperated from my wife, especially considering that currently I can't get 'Asumislisä' because we're technically still married, and meant to be living together and sharing income. But then I can't get another Residency Permit if we don't stay married on paper... Or can I? Can my wife and I divorce on paper, and then can I apply to stay here based on wanting to study? I am pretty sure that I would need an acceptance letter from what ever institution I get into (if any) or say that I am going to Open University or something? Would the Police and Finland accept that it's okay that I try to live here on my own based on the fact that I have been here since 2011 and have travelled back and forth to Finland 3 times? Or would I be shipped back home because I would lose my family ties to Finland? I don't want to have to lie to anyone and pretend that my wife and I are living together, on top of that it doesn't seem like I could remotely afford to live without the extra 222/244€ or whatever Asumislisä.

I am sorry if this post is a mess, it reflects on how much of a mess my life is at current.

I just need someone to set me down in the right direction and explain to me how students are able to survive here and even go out drinking and partying, and to uni excursions on occasion... whilst on Opintoraha & Asumislisä.
Because to me, it seems completely impossible. I have to pay my wife about 100€ a month for combined bills, phone/computer etc. on top of whatever my rent is. Plus I still have to eat.
If there was some way that I could get Asumislisä ontop of what I am going to be getting as a student, it could be possible with a cheap place or something.

But basically what I need is an explanation of how someone else is already living in this sort of circumstance.
I just don't want to ask my dad for money and then only be able to afford to stay here another 3 months, get a new passport and residency permit and then have to go back to my home country anyway... I don't want to give up on living here, I love this place, and I want to be close to my wife and my friends.

I am not expecting to live in a place with gold cultery and a chandelier. I just want somewhere comfortable to rest my head where I can be at peace and feel safe and stable (this is most important). I do not squander any of my money. I don't have to drink or go out and I don't smoke. But I just fail to see how living here on my own is possible on Opintoraha + Asumislisä...

Does anyone have any suggestions that don't include going back to my home country? How does everyone else survive at their own place with even a dog and a cat and small amounts of bar trips and parties and food and bills and internet and such and still be able to eat and pay their rent? Because to me it just all seems too hard... but I don't want to give up, I want to stay positive and I'm convinced that if someone explains it to me I'd be able to find my way...

So please, how do you suggest I go about seperating from my wife and getting my own place to settle down and study. I just want something stable.. because right now I go through up and down moments of feeling like it's going to be alright, and then feeling like it's impossible.

Please forgive me for my long thread.. and thanks for any help at all..

[rinso]

As I understand it, you have two options:
1 - stay married -> family based RP -> little hand outs because your wife has an income.
2 - divorce -> get a students RP -> no hand outs.
A rock and a hard place comes to mind.

I don't like to kick you when you're down, but unless you find a job I see no solution.

[justaguy]

So hang on.

If I don't stay married on paper, I can't get Opintoraha + Asumislisä at all?

So I need to be married to even get student assistance?
I think I'm going to throw up...

It seemed like I had barely any options before, but now it really seems like I have none.

[007]

If your family RP gets renewed come August, you might have some luck at benefits. So prolong your marriage up until you get your RP renewed. After that, money keeps flowing as long as police/migri sniffs at your state of business in Finland, which is hardly unlikely until it's time to renew RP again (permanent one).

Damn Finland is either too naive or too generous.

[Pursuivant]

So I need to be married to even get student assistance?

Well, the thing is, if you are here on family category thats a whole different scenario as if you are on a student category.

A non-EU student has to have something like 7000 euros in the bank as well as a private health insurance for the residence permit => and renew it every year.

I think I'm going to throw up...

What do you think the taxpayers are doing having to be supporting some abandoned sex toy?

[justaguy]

Wife and I are on good terms... she won't suddenly divorce me, and says we can stay on paper as long as is needed. But she's adamant that she won't take me back.
I'm pretty much a victim of one of those "I woke up and decided I don't want to live with you anymore, but I still love you" breakups...

Wife has bankrupted us both now entirely, we both have barely 50€ left in the bank before our next pay. Due to having to suddenly seperate.
All of the bills are in her name obviously because I can't get them in mine. She financially cannot pay for them all herself and she is going to have to ask for money from her parents which she may not even get. To me it seems like, even if there was a problem with our marriage, (which I am not even sure of) that she is burying herself under a mountain of stress now and such from financial debts, on top of breaking us up. That, whilst we were married, we both had a fantastic plan in order to pay off.

I moved out to give her some space, instead of forcing her to have to evict me even though I don't think she would have, but she still wanted me to leave. Regardless, she wants to move out of where she is anyway and it's far too expensive for either of us to pay single-handedly. (515€)
I'm really trying to do the right thing by everyone here, her, the country, the law, and myself...

If I get a new permit, it will probably be for 4 years. I am on a continuous 'A' permit. I have no idea how close I am to a permanent permit. Seeing as my first permit was a Continuous 'A' permit for 1 year and then I got another Continuous 'A' permit for 1 year.. I am assuming the next will be a Continuous 'A' permit for 4 years.

What happens to the permit if my wife files for divorce (and goes through with it) after I get the permit? Obviously it's going to look absolutely terrible. Like we stayed together just long enough for me to be able to get the permit a third time. The marriage is/was genuine, we loved each other. We still do, afaik she just doesn't want to live with me anymore. I tried suggesting a million things like getting a bigger place if she needed her own space. But I think you all understand that sometimes people fall out of love or something. I am still thinking of suggesting counselling or something.

But as you guys can probably understand. Time is of the essence here... I have 6-ish weeks before I need to get my own place. About another 3-ish months whilst I still get 699€ a month that I can use to live in a 'summer' place for 3 months. After that, the future looks extremely uncertain and downright impossible...

Rinso says that if I break up, I am entitled to nothing, and that I have to show the 6000 Euros or something to be able to study? I have barely 50€ left now after having to buy my own food...

Currently I am staying with a friend and she said I could be here for about 6 weeks.. which leaves me with 6 weeks until I have to find another place. Finding another place isn't a problem.
Being able to stay for a long peroid of time, (my entire studies) and being able to survive is what IS important.

I just don't understand how other students from overseas are able to come and live here and party and such and still be able to study, pay rent and survive... it makes no sense. These people don't come from wealthy families or anything, they have practically no money saved and most of them don't even work for 1 day a month. What are they entitled to that I am not?
Because at the moment it doesn't seem like I can afford to live here on student pay. If I was getting what I am now continuously, then I'd be okay for sure. But I'm not going to be able to get the same amount when I get into a school.. and because my wife and I are supposed to be sharing income and expenses, I don't qualify for asumislisä.

I think I'm going to throw up...

What do you think the taxpayers are doing having to be supporting some abandoned sex toy?

I pay tax too.. and have for years. I've worked in this country 4 times now. As an immigrant my tax percentage has always been marginally higher than most..

[007]

Wife and I are on good terms... she won't suddenly divorce me, and says we can stay on paper as long as is needed.

so your financial problem will be similiar to other students.. You will have to get some bucks from your parents for rent as asumistuki won't be there. or perhas if you stay and study in a far away city from your wife, you might be eligible for asumistuki

I just don't understand how other students from overseas are able to come and live here and party and such and still be able to study, pay rent and survive... it makes no sense.

to being with, they bring 6000-7000 euros on their arrival and then they work parttime and also fulltime during summer throughout their studenthood... makes all the sense. it's about economizing way of life. [/quote]

[Pursuivant]

What happens to the permit if my wife files for divorce (and goes through with it) after I get the permit?

Nothing really. You have it - for the 4 years or if you get lucky and get a "P". As it is an A and the "family" category, that sorts out your student benefit/asumistuki situation. Providing you get a study place etc. The next one might be tricky though, if you are in for a renewal and aren't married and not working as they do look a bit cross-eyed at being on benefits, but thats to worry about then.

I just don't understand how other students from overseas are able to come and live here and party and such and still be able to study, pay rent and survive... it makes no sense. These people don't come from wealthy families or anything, they have practically no money saved and most of them don't even work for 1 day a month. What are they entitled to that I am not?

Well, they aren't getting it from the Finnish government if they are here on a student RP. They need to show independent funding to renew their RP - how they get it - some work, some hustle, some have rich daddy... Well, OK, if they are refugees or something like that, well, thats not a student category, as they're in the country on other pretenses.

[007]

An Australian in Oulu with an estranged wife, and with a way of writing walls of texts... are you by the way Kutittaa?

[justaguy]

An Australian in Oulu with an estranged wife, and with a way of writing walls of texts... are you by the way Kutittaa?

Yes that is me. I forgot the password to my old account. You have a good memory, (and I am sure you aren't the only one with suspicions) although it's not like this website gets a ton of 'block-of-text' writers like myself.

I believe the next permit will be for 2 years not 4 and your wife needs to be present at the police station when you go renew the permit. You are totally at your wife's mercy until you obtain permanent residency. From what you described about your relationship and financial status, things aren't looking good so you need to start thinking about setting things back home.

I don't mind being at my wife's mercy. We've lived together for 2 years. She's been to Australia. I've been here. We've had our differences sure, but we've never intentionally tried to sabotage or harm each other.
I am not worried about her sabotaging my permit or my ability to stay here. Although it seems that currently in my situation she is unintentionally making things very difficult for me...

If the next permit I get will be for 2 years instead of 4 I will be surprised. Seeing as 2 of my friends here in Oulu got a 4 year straight after their first 1 year Continuous A's. I should have got a 4 year this time the Policewoman said but because I applied for a second permit after my last one ran out I was given a 1 year permit again.[/quote]

What happens to the permit if my wife files for divorce (and goes through with it) after I get the permit?

Nothing really. You have it - for the 4 years or if you get lucky and get a "P". As it is an A and the "family" category, that sorts out your student benefit/asumistuki situation. Providing you get a study place etc. The next one might be tricky though, if you are in for a renewal and aren't married and not working as they do look a bit cross-eyed at being on benefits, but thats to worry about then.

So if the divorce comes afterwards. Either by mutual agreement or because she decides to do it herself. There isn't going to be a big red letter on someone's desk saying that my previously granted permit is no longer valid due to the divorce...? I'm too pessimistic to believe that isn't the case...

[Pursuivant]

You have a good memory, (and I am sure you aren't the only one with suspicions) although it's not like this website gets a ton of 'block-of-text' writers like myself.

I'm more surprised you didn't mention a huge computer transport problem there in the middle of all this...

There isn't going to be a big red letter on someone's desk saying that my previously granted permit is no longer valid due to the divorce...? I'm too pessimistic to believe that isn't the case...

No such luck, but you still are going to face the wall of crap in trying to explain why you would be getting the next one when the time comes. Once you get onto the "P" then you generally need to be a really bad boy to get booted out.

[rinso]

An Australian in Oulu with an estranged wife, and with a way of writing walls of texts... are you by the way Kutittaa?

Yes that is me. I forgot the password to my old account.

So you're the boomerang boy with the on-off relationship.

With this troubled history of your relation I wouldn't count on support of your wife when you need it.
Now she feels free of you she might need an official free status when entering a new relationship. (new bf doesn't like her being married still. "show commitment to me and divorce him!)
Relying on her put you in a completely dependent position. One phone call of her to immigration about the changed situation (remember the pissed off new bf) and you will have a lot of explaining to do. (And buying yourself a one way ticket back to Australia.)
Handle the situation from your own strength. And if you cannot manage on your own, you're probably better of down under.

[Rip]

I don't think just being married is not good enough for getting (renewing) a residence permit if one is in reality and also according to the population database living separated.

[Pursuivant]

Well, "studying" is a good excuse - if its not in the same town

[Adrian42]

Well, "studying" is a good excuse - if its not in the same town

If I understand it correctly, he is currently getting unemployment benefits paid as integration assistance.

RP is one thing, but I fail to see in any case why Kela would continue to pay him money if he starts to study.