Dating life of a Finnish-American?

[hongkongphooey]

Deleteeeee

[rinso]

a life of solitude in which I spend my nights caressing my scientific journals?

A good policy if you want to graduate quickly.

am I destined for a life of solitude

Depends how "easy" you are. And if you can find the right circles with people sharing your interests.

[Adrian42]

I have heard that Finnish men are painfully shy

Only sober Finns.

Any drunken Finn coming near to you will grab your ass and ask you whether you want to f*ck.

and that they prefer exotic women.

And many Finnish women prefer exotic men (e.g. the many Finnish citizens who came as refugees from Somalia).

With "they" or "many" being perhaps 10%, and the other 90% wanting to find a normal Finn as spouse.

Which leads me to my next question, am I destined for a life of solitude in which I spend my nights caressing my scientific journals?

For good results at university that might be a reasonable option.

More typical for a Finnish student would be to drink several nights per week that much alcohol that you don't have slightest clue who the guy is besides whom you wake up next morning.

Dating in Finland works different from dating in the US, but like in all non-extinct societies in the world there are even in Finland ways for a beautiful young woman like you to find a man.

And if you get so desperate that you might be interested in a fat old German guy, please send me a private message.


Oh, and all of the above is more stereotypical than an exact description of reality. The general patterns are correct, but don't take it 100% verbatim.

[riku2]

I have heard that Finnish men are painfully shy and that they prefer exotic women.

At least for the "prefer exotic women" part the population of finland shows this cannot be true. Finland has one of the lowest percentages of immigrants in EU countries (if you consider "exotic" to be non natives) and since the population does remain somewhat stable then most finnish women end up with a finnish man and vv.

As an educated young american woman in finland I don't think you'll be any worse off than the local women. Your less than perfect finnish will weed out the finnish men who can't speak english but that's hardly a drawback since you have to go pretty low to find a 23 year old who can't speak any english.

[browndude]

I don´t think you will have much to worry as the younger Finnish guys are not that shy anymore.

[ajdias]

that they prefer exotic women.

That's a myth. The overwhelming majority of finns prefers, or at least, is very happy, with other finns. In my experience of 6 years as a bachelor, those that gravitate towards foreigners are either those that really enjoy other cultures/an international environment, or those that think they can't get anything better (if you hear "finnish men/women all such" run...)

As for hooking up, for many it's a phase. Most couples do meet outside of bars, specially younger people, so don't pay too much importance to it. If you enjoy doing sports and other activities you should meet plenty of people.
Where many foreign girls struggle is in the assertiveness department. Finnish girls do take initiative and make sure the guy knows she fancies him, while foreigners are more used to wait and see.

[Flossy1978]

American is exotic? LOL. Sorry, I laughed when I read about that (in a good way). There's so much Americanisation in this country. There's nothing really that exotic about you guys.

You'll be fine here.

But be warned. One night stands are common and meeting and f*cking is too. Often related to alcohol the first scenario, the second is just, well..... what quite a few Fins do. And some of them can be very cruel, so just be aware. On the otherhand, they're doing something right, because people are very good with using protection here. Not a whole of 'opps it was an accident' young mothers from strangers, getting pregnant etc. There's not a lot of pregnant teenagers fullstop, even though Fins often start having sex at a rather young age. They're really quite mature about it all, without having sex education drummed into their heads (as I've heard they keep doing at a younger and younger age in America). I read all about the sex life here one time years ago.

You'll be fine here. If you are coming to study, shouldn't that be your main priority, than finding a boyfriend? LOL. If you are in uni with other young people, you'll be fine with having plenty of 'men' to meet and spend time with, without even trying, I am sure. It's not all about just going out to drink and get drunk. A huge part, yes, but not all. There are students who drink little or none at all. Don't get the picture you just must spend all your time drunk LOL.

[hongkongphooey]

Thanks for the reassurance I know the U.S. is not exotic at all, but since there's so many people of hispanic/Asian/African/other descent, those people would look more "exotic" than me with my blonde hair and green eyes. Of course school is my first priority, but I have confidence that my studying skills will work in Finland, my dating skills not so much...heh.

[Flossy1978]

I don't know who would be considered exotic here these days. The world is such a small place and people come to Finland from all over the world.

I do know Fins love Aussies for some unknown reason. Every Fin I've ever talked to have always said they want to go there, if they haven't. Again, I don't know why. Maybe because it's the furthest place you could get from Finland? LOL.

I know Americans are popular amongst a lot of teenagers.

Asians are exotic and popular amongst middle age loser Finnish men who Finnish women don't want to be with LOL.

Africans.... Well, depends on where you come from, I suppose. They aren't exotic. I think a lot of Fins don't like all the Somalians and whatnot being let into the country etc. So I think they have a bit of a negative stigma attached to them.

You are going to Helsinki. It would be different if you went to some whoop whoop place with a small population and not much stimulation from the outside world, other than the internet and telly. Then you'd be exotic. There are so many foreigners living in Helsinki these days. It's nothing new or exotic anymore. You hear English and other languages all the time out in the streets of the city.

[cors187]

Thanks for the reassurance I know the U.S. is not exotic at all, but since there's so many people of hispanic/Asian/African/other descent, those people would look more "exotic" than me with my blonde hair and green eyes. Of course school is my first priority, but I have confidence that my studying skills will work in Finland, my dating skills not so much...heh.

You may as well finish the thread with a google link of the similar type of girl you look like . i mean the thread deserves it.

example
from the list
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&s ... D2b7nKWRtQ

this is my face type
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9 ... I_fsCUHIRw

[Jukka Aho]

Africans.... Well, depends on where you come from, I suppose. They aren't exotic. I think a lot of Fins don't like all the Somalians and whatnot being let into the country etc. So I think they have a bit of a negative stigma attached to them.

I guess most Finnish men don’t consider Africans viable girlfriend candidates simply because most of the local ones are Somalis, Somalis are generally Moslems, and Moslems are generally thought to be protective and insular about “their” women, not mingling much with the natives, and old-fashioned or even dangerous control freaks when it comes to sexuality (of women), dating (of women), clothing (of women) and marriages (of women), especially when the guy is Western, secular, and does not practice the Islamic faith or any religion at all.

There have been stories in the media how a Somali girl choosing to date whoever she wishes, Western-style (and from the wrong “pool” of people, no less) has led to severe harassment and threats from her own family members, to the point of having to cut off all contact with her family and move someplace else where they can’t easily find her. And also those about “disobedient” women/girls being sent back to the “old country" for an arranged marriage with someone they don’t know and without even being told that’s the purpose of the trip.

[Oombongo]

ah, a hybrid Finn. Your group is such a rare sight like some kind of endangered species I always wonder if it is really possible to see a black chinese someday. Just a few days before, I saw a hybrid of Japanese and Finnish..and I gotta say it looked like a Japanese fitted inside the body of a Finnish girl.
Anyways, you should not have problems with dating locals as Finnish men* are not as difficult as local ladies here.



* - Fnnish men who have been successfully forenginzed and assimilated by invaders.

[riku2]

I always wonder if it is really possible to see a black chinese someday. Just a few days before, I saw a hybrid of Japanese and Finnish..and I gotta say it looked like a Japanese fitted inside the body of a Finnish girl.

This kind of thing happens in the UK - someone who looks Indian but speaks with a welsh accent worthy of a coal miner, or black with thick Glasgow accent saying how much they love deep fried Mars bars. Finland seems a long way off from this, perhaps being the equivalent now as to what the UK was in the early 70's.

[snorlonikins]

Africans.... Well, depends on where you come from, I suppose. They aren't exotic. I think a lot of Fins don't like all the Somalians and whatnot being let into the country etc. So I think they have a bit of a negative stigma attached to them.

I guess most Finnish men don’t consider Africans viable girlfriend candidates simply because most of the local ones are Somalis, Somalis are generally Moslems, and Moslems are generally thought to be protective and insular about “their” women, not mingling much with the natives, and old-fashioned or even dangerous control freaks when it comes to sexuality (of women), dating (of women), clothing (of women) and marriages (of women), especially when the guy is Western, secular, and does not practice the Islamic faith or any religion at all.

There have been stories in the media how a Somali girl choosing to date whoever she wishes, Western-style (and from the wrong “pool” of people, no less) has led to severe harassment and threats from her own family members, to the point of having to cut off all contact with her family and move someplace else where they can’t easily find her. And also those about “disobedient” women/girls being sent back to the “old country" for an arranged marriage with someone they don’t know and without even being told that’s the purpose of the trip.

I'm afraid that in the UK it has gone further than 'threats'