Children left home alone - the Finnish way

pnlbr · Post by **pnlbr** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:32 pm

Hi there,

It is my first post here and I would appreciate getting your feedback on the matter. I would like to know from foreign working parents how/if they coped with the Finnish way of leaving school-aged children home alone after school hours. Finnish parents feedback is also welcome of course but I guess the decision is easier for them since it seems to be the Finnish way anyway to do so.

So, do you do the Finnish way or you ended up arranging a nanny/aupair to look after the kids after school hours? And if you do have nannies/aupairs, how did you find them?

Thanks a lot!

**Sponsor:**

CH · Post by CH » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:19 pm

If your children are in first or second grade there usually is an after school program at the school for them. There are also a lot of other after school programs organized by sports organizations and similar, depending of course on where you live.

Rosamunda · Post by **Rosamunda** » Thu Aug 08, 2013 11:06 pm

It depends on the child,the street where they live, and all kinds of things. I have 3 boys very close in age, so they were never completely alone. The first year when we arrived I didn't work at all, and then I gradually took on more hours. My youngest son went to after-school club in 1st and 2nd grade.
Some children are less mature than others and some just hate being alone, or get bored, especially if they have no friends close by. I don't think it's a great system, in too many cases very vulnerable children are left without adequate care. And, of course, the children with better-off parents will get all the after-school sports and art and stuff like that whereas for others they just get to watch TV and eat snacks until a parent comes home.

pnlbr · Post by **pnlbr** » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:03 pm

Thank you a lot for your replies.
Cory, I've searched the posts about the subject and the only one I found more clarifying was the one from a person coming from US who seemed to have some issues to adapting in Finland in general. Anyways, I'm more prone to finding a live-out aupair for now until I get used to the "Finnish way", if ever.

Btw, Love to read the various posts in this forum. Very helpful!

Peace!

Upphew · Post by **Upphew** » Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:47 pm

pnlbr wrote:Anyways, I'm more prone to finding a live-out aupair for now until I get used to the "Finnish way", if ever.

You won't find one, see the immigration requirements for Au pair: http://www.migri.fi/working_in_finland/au_pair

Adrian42 · Post by **Adrian42** » Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:11 pm

Upphew wrote:
pnlbr wrote:Anyways, I'm more prone to finding a live-out aupair for now until I get used to the "Finnish way", if ever.
You won't find one, see the immigration requirements for Au pair: http://www.migri.fi/working_in_finland/au_pair

What part exactly are you referring to?

(Also note that many Au Pairs don't need a Residence Permit.)

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Tue Aug 13, 2013 6:12 pm

Somewhat appropriate: schools start http://www.iltalehti.fi/uutiset/2013081 ... 9_uu.shtml
Past a certain age kids refuse to go to school if their parents take them as "its mortally embarrassing".

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:58 pm

It's a pain in the arse. My Lad started school this week. Today his class started at 09:00 and finished at 12:00. The afternoon club is 12:00 to 16:00 luckily he got in it. So I had to be there at 09:00 to drop him off and back at 16:00 to pick him up (I was actually there at 12 today to make sure he made it to the afternoon club). Means typically I can work say 09:40 -> 15:10

Loads of 6-7 year olds just left on there own at 12:00 today. Finland must be a paedo/child snatchers idea of heaven.

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:17 pm

Also don't see what the rush is to make children "independent" here, parents seem to want to get rid of their kids ASAP. Why did you have em? Parents keep telling me how happy they are their little kids out "playing" unsupervised. Meanwhile i'm stood outside doing their job for them.

Part of the reason I had kids is because I want to interact with them

Adrian42 · Post by **Adrian42** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:20 pm

irnbru wrote:Finland must be a paedo/child snatchers idea of heaven.

That's a completely irrational fear bolstered by misleading media coverage.

If there are any cases of people snatching random kids from the street at all in Finland, you need less than the fingers of one hand to count the cases per year.

Sexual abuse of children is a problem, but the offender is usually someone the child knows and trusts (e.g. a member of the family, or a priest, teacher or babysitter).

If you'd be worried that your kid might be killed by a car that would be a rational fear, but fearing a random stranger would snatch your kid from the street is just an irrational fear of an over-cautious mother.

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:23 pm

Adrian42 wrote:You need less than the fingers of one hand to count the cases per year.

Only needs to happen once.

Adrian42 · Post by **Adrian42** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:25 pm

irnbru wrote:Part of the reason I had kids is because I want to interact with them

What will you do when your boy tells you how much he gets mocked in his class because he isn't allowed to walk home from school alone?

Adrian42 · Post by **Adrian42** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:30 pm

irnbru wrote:
Adrian42 wrote:You need less than the fingers of one hand to count the cases per year.
Only needs to happen once.

I assume you will never allow your son to go swimming - the risk of drowning is much higher than the risk of being snatched from the street.

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:33 pm

Adrian42 wrote:
irnbru wrote:Part of the reason I had kids is because I want to interact with them
What will you do when your boy tells you how much he gets mocked in his class because he isn't allowed to walk home from school alone?

When my lad says that its fine, but i'll give you a recent example. Last week he was still in nursery for a week (a couple of mins from our house all pedestrianized) I said to him, you start going there yourself and me and your little brother will come and catch you up (been trying this for a bit now and letting him play out in the courtyard on his own, he has his own key and phone). When I get downstairs he's in the hall crying "where were, you, why did you take so long". They aren't ready at 6-7 it's too young.

I have seen and heard about loads of his peers who have been left on their own this week having problems, they are just too young at that age. For example yesterday a kid his age was supposed to go to the park club (where no one is tracking the kids) and he disappeared. Turned up later luckily OK. Seen a few begging to go in other kids houses to play as they have nowhere to go or they aren't where they are supposed to be.

irnbru · Post by **irnbru** » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:34 pm

Adrian42 wrote:
irnbru wrote:
Adrian42 wrote:You need less than the fingers of one hand to count the cases per year.
Only needs to happen once.
I assume you will never allow your son to go swimming - the risk of drowning in a swimming pool is much higher than the risk of being snatched from the street.

Not bothered about statistics, I just don't take chances I don't need to with my kids.

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