expose my wife

[betelgeuse]

You need a lawyer. Publishing such information can be a criminal act:

http://www.finlex.fi/fi/oikeus/kko/kko/2005/20050082

In this case the supreme court decided that telling about the extramarital affair of the person in question in a newspaper was not ok.

[Hämeen Hitain]

so i decided to install a spy software to our home computer to her phone,

That is also a crime.

[rinso]

Forget about revenge. It is not done and actually nobody cares.

Fight the battle you need to win: shared custody and visiting rights.
And for that you'll need a lawyer if I judge your wifes attitude right.

[Rip]

Forget about revenge. It is not done and actually nobody cares.

Fight the battle you need to win: shared custody and visiting rights.
And for that you'll need a lawyer if I judge your wifes attitude right.

And confessing crimes that he has made or committing new ones won't help.

[Pursuivant]

Yes, if the police investigate your "evidence", your kids will have to come to prison to see you.

[betelgeuse]

Yes, if the police investigate your "evidence", your kids will have to come to prison to see you.

Just so the OP understands, the above is exaggeration. In Finland it's very hard to land yourself in prison (excluding stealing money from the state by for example avoiding taxes).

[Flossy1978]

In Finland it doesn't matter why the divorce happened.

So bringing your wife's cheating ways into it will not do anything. It will be ignored.

If the cheating however caused your children to be neglected, or affected your children in some other dangerous illegal manner, then yes you should bring it up.

It's horrible what she's done to you. But again, this is Finland, it means squat. Marriages mean nothing here too.

So your best bet is to get an appointment with a Lastenvalvoja NOW!!! The longer you are away from your children, then harder it will be to even get to see them.

The Lastenvalvoja's job is to protect and serve the children, not you or your wife. And it's your children you want to protect and your children who you want to see. So you get on the phone now and you get an appointment ASAP.

Sadly, yes you are the foreigner here and despite this !"#¤% that custody is always 50/50 unless something else is mandated by the courts, you are in sh*t. There's no 50/50 when it comes to a foreigner getting divorced and children are involved. The Finn almost always wins. The Finn always has the ultimate say in everything. So sadly you too have to learn to deal with that.

I wish you luck.

Keep the cheating evidence if you want, but don't use it unless it is proof of your children being in harms way or being neglected. Otherwise there really is no point. The courts won't care, no one will.

[Rip]

Keep the cheating evidence if you want, but don't use it unless it is proof of your children being in harms way or being neglected. Otherwise there really is no point. The courts won't care, no one will.

They would care about bugging the computer or phone , but not to OP's benefit. Recording a conversation that he had with his wife would have been legal but even then then, it should either be related to the children or otherwise directly contradict what she has been saying later (like that the separation was caused by his abusive behavior) - and again if during the recording he mentions (and therefore proves) the bugging, then...

[woundedbuddy]

Thanks everyone, for your advices, i will do what is the best and i will always be back here to let you know what is going on.

[woundedbuddy]

In Finland it doesn't matter why the divorce happened.

Thanks.

[Oombongo]

We certainly need a reality TV show like Cheaters in Finland

[HerraMopsi]

GROW UP and live with it. You're not the first or the last person to have to deal with this. It happens. A lot. And people move on with their lives.

Someone's cheating on their significant other

[angelong]

I do relationship therapy and counselling. Welcome to contact me if you need help. Human relationships have changed more in the last 50 years than they have in the 5000 years prior to that. So obviously there needs to be re-education on the subject since for most people the only examples around are Hollywood or the generation of our parents before us, & times have simply changed. It's a huge issue, & so is cheating, but that doesn't mean we can't change the world we live in. Taking revenge isn't going to make you feel happier because the way you feel is going on inside of you. Things will work out in the end. At least no one is sick & dying or starving like the majority of the world's population.